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Full text of "The little Londoner. A concise account of the life and ways of the English, with special reference to London. Supplying the means of acquiring an adequate command of the spoken language"

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THE LIBRARY 

OF 

THE UNIVERSITY 

OF CALIFORNIA 

LOS ANGELES 



THE 

LITTLE LONDONER. 



A CONCISE ACCOUNT 

OF THE 



LIFE AND WAYS OF THE ENGLISH, 



SPECIAL REFERENCE TO LONDOiNT. 



SUPPLYING THE MEANS OF ACQUIRING AN ADEQUATE COMMAND 

OF THE 

SPOKEN LANGUAGE 
iX ALL DEPARTMENTS OF DAILY LIFE. 

BY 

R. KRON, Ph. d. 

EIGHTH EDITION. 

(47TH TO 57TH THOUSANDS.) 
WITH A MAP OF LONDON. 




FREIBURG (BADEN): 

J. BIELEFELDS VERLAG. 

1907. 



ALL RICLirS Of 'JRANSr^ATIOX OR OF ADAPTATIOX FOR 
OTHER COUNTRIES STR/CTLV RESERIEJ). 



For Negotiations apply to tlie Publisher, J. Biele/elJs I'erla^, 
Freiburg (Badenj, 



PE 

mi 



PREFACE. 

It had long been my intention to prepare a parallel volume 
to my Feii'i Part'sien; in obedience to repeated requests it is 
now issued. I have called it T/ie Little Londoner for two 
reasons, firstly, because it treats of almost every aspect of 
London daily life, London being generally recognised as the 
leading English city to which the foreigner usually goes first, 
and where he makes his longest stay; secondly, because the 
book is written in such English as the educated Londoner of 
the present day uses in his ordinary unconstrained conversation; 
London speech is spreading among the educated classes throughout 
the country, and many authorities do not hesitate to regard it 
as the standard. 

The Little Londoner has been written on the same 
lines as the Petit Parisien, and many valuable suggestions 
made by readers of the latter volume could be utilised here also, 
g I have been able to draw upon personal experience gained during 
g a continuous stay in England extending over two years and a 
J half, and on numerous later occasions when my holidays were 
a. spent there. 

X It is not necessary to take the chapters in tlie exact order 

-I in which they appear in the book, as each chapter is complete 

< in itself. The words and phrases given in brackets serve to 

explain the text or to extend the vocabulary by the suggestion 

of synonyms. 

Chapter XXVI, which deals with die language, contains an 
alphabetical list of the most common slang expressions with 
explanations in good English, and is largely based on my own 
observation. I have added a brief enumeration of the chief 
peculiarities of cockney speech. The chapter is intended to enable 
the foreigner to distinguish what is good from what ought not 
to be imitated in the conversation of the native. Those who have 
little experience are too much inclined to make an indiscriminate 
use of slang, without considering whether it may not be regarded 
as a sign of offensive familiarity by the person addressed. 

The pronunciation has been indicated only in the case of 
a few common abbreviations; thus p. m. is to be pronounced pee 
emm (these letters having their usual English value). 



I have derived help from Wendi's "England" in the 
discussion of the public administration, etc.; I have also made 
occasional use of Stoffel's "Studies in English", and of Hofer's 
"Londoner Vulgarsprache". But in the main, the subject-matter 
contained in "The Little Londoner" is based on my own per- 
sonal observation, supplemented bv information furnished by 
English friends. I am particularly indebted to two, of whom 
one, Mr. C. Darling, B. A. (Lend), is a native of the North, 
while the other, Mr. Walter Rippmann. ]\[. A. (Cantab. & I^ond.), 
is a born Londoner. Each has revised my MS. independently, both 
as regards form and matter. It may therefore be taken that 
the language is thoroughly idiomatic; at the same time I accept 
the full responsibility for this myself. 

TIic Little Londoner will be found suitable as a reader 
and as the starting-point for conversational practice in the upper 
forms of secondary schools and similar places of education, 
including military colleges. In all such institutions attention is 
now paid to the acquisition of a good command of the spoken 
language for all the ordinary purposes of daily life. The book 
will also be of use to private students. 

A systematic scheme of questions and answers has been 
prepared for those who may require a guide to conversational 
exercises in order to derive genuine advantage from the subject- 
matter contained in the book. These Hints for Conversation based 
on the text of The Uttle Londoner mav be obtained from 
the publisher, J. Bielefelds Verlag, Freiburg (Baden), and will be 
sent post-free on receipt of a conpori de re'ponse or 2 penny 
stamps (20 Pfg.). 

Corrections and suggestions that may occur to any reader as 
likely to render this little book more useful, will be gratefully 
acknowledged. 



In this new edition there has been no need to make 
radical alterations, as the educational journals have all ex])ressed 
approval of the general plan and execution of The Little 
Londoner. Minor changes tending to bring the text up to date 
have, however, been made in many places. 

I have also published a Vocabulary explaining in alpha- 
betical order and in simple English the text of "The J.itlle 
Londoner", and an English-German W-rdcntscliungs-M'drterhitcli 
which may be found useful. 

KIEL, January 1907. 

R. KRON. 



Calls. 

"An Englishman's house is his castle", says the 
proverb. No one, not even a policeman, is under 
ordinary circumstances entitled to pass (or cross) 
the threshold of an English private house. Thus 
a well-bred Englishman would consider it a bold 
intrusion on his privacy if a stranger were to call 
upon him without an invitation or a letter of 
introduction. 

Persons who are provided with a letter of 
introduction must, at their first call, leave that 
letter along with their card and address. It may 
be advisable not to go in on that day, but wait 
until the lady or gentleman to whom the letter 
is addressed sends an invitation. One (or A single) 
introduction from an English friend is worth more 
than a score of introductions from foreigners in 
high positions. 

Sunday is not the proper day for making 
calls; week-days should always be chosen for 
this purpose. The usual (or customary, proper, 
fashionable) time for calling is between 4 and 



2 I. Calls. 

6 p. m.' (i. e.' post meridirvi, in the afternoon). 
No call should be made at any other time, unless 
on a very intimate (or close) friend. Strange 
to say, these calls, although made in the after- 
noon , are termed (or styled) "morning calls". 
They are, it is true, made before dinner, the 
time for which is usually between six and eight 
(o'clock). Whereas on the Continent certain morn- 
ing calls are made in full dress (or in evening 
dress, or in a dress-suit), i. e. wearing a black dress- 
coat (or tail-coat, or swallow-tail coat), waistcoat and 
trousers, and a white or black dress-tie, it would 
be quite out of pkice in England to follow this 
fashion as regards attire. Morning calls are made 
in morning dress, i. e. a dark frock-coat (double- 
breasted and with long tails), or a single-breasted 
cut-away coat with tails, and fancy - coloured 
trousers and gloves. A well-brushed silk hat 
(or top-hat) is, on all occasions, the fashionable 
head dress. A gentleman should take his hat and 
stick, but not the umbrella, into the room, and 
keep them in his hands until he is invited to 
put theni down. The right-hand glo\-e must be 
removed. 

When I intend (or wish) to go and see a 
friend, or any one that has asked me to pay him 
a visit (or to call upon him , to look him up), 1 
go to his house and ring the (visitors') bell; or, 
as is more commonly done in England, I give 

I p. m. is to be read: pee emm. 

* ;'. e. (the Latin id est) is read: that is (to say). 



I. Calls. 3 

several (at least 4 or 5) raps (or knocks) with the 
knocker, a kind of iron (or brass) hammer, such 
as are (to be) seen on most English front-doors. 
A servant (a footman or a maid) will rome and 
open the door. In speaking to him (or her, as 
the case may be), I need not take off my hat. 
When in doubt about the right address, I ask 
him (or her): Docs Mr. — ^ live here?, or Is this 
where Mr. — lives? In case (that) I get a 
replv in the affirmative, I proceed to say: Can I 
sec him (or Air. ■—)?, or Is he in?, or Is lie at 
hotne (i. e. at liberty to see me)? Should Mr. — 
not be in, or should he be engaged (or very busy) 
at the time, the servant will tell me so, and per- 
haps ask me to call again at a certain hour. If 
Mr. — is at home, the servant will ask: What 
name, (if you) please?, or What name shall I 
say?, whereupon I reply: Mr. Baker [or Doctor 
Draper, if I hold (or have) this degree]. I do not 
send my card up unless I call on some commer- 
cial business. Before announcing me to his 
master, the servant will request me to step (or 
walk) in, and will take me to the drawing--room. 
Here I have to await (or wait for) Mr. — 's arrival. 
In the event of my not knowing Mr.-- per- 
sonally, I bow when he enters the room, and say: 
Mr. — ? (in a questioning voice), or again: Have 
I the pleasure of speaking to Mr. — ? Mr. — will 
then answer: That (or Yes, that) is my name (, Sir) ; 

I Mr. — is read: Mister Dash., Mr. Blank, or Mr. So- 
and-So. 



. 1. Calls. 

4 

7vill you take a seat, please?, and probably con- 
tinue: What can I do for you? I may perhaps 
say in reply, / hope I am not trespassing on your 
time. He will assure me, Oh, certainly not. I then 
proceed to tell him the object of my visit, or what 
has brought me there, or what I have (got) to say. 

If the person whom I am visiting is an inti- 
mate friend of mine, he will welcome me by saying: 
Good morning, (afternoon, evening), adding per- 
haps old man, or old boy, or Byed, &'c.'^: (Fm) 
Very pleased (or glad) to sec you. What's the 
news? He will ask me to take a seat (Will yo7c 
take a seat? Take a seat! Sit down/), and inquire 
(or enquire) after my health, and after that of my 
family: Well, how are you? Well, hotv arc you 
getting on ? Well, liow is the world using you ? 
How are you all at home? I hope you. are all 
well at home. Hoiv is your father (getting on)? 
&c. My answers may vary as follows: Capital, 
(or Very well. Quite well. Tolerably well, Pretty 
7vell, Fairly well), thanks (or thank you). After 
these or similar preliminary topics of conversation, 
we have a comfortable chat. 

During our conversation, it may happen that 
I have not clearly understood (or caught) what 
has been said to me. In this case I inquire again, 
saying: I beg your pardon? or, less formally, and 
only with very good friends: What do (or did) 
you say?. What were you saying? (What? alone 
is too abrupt, but it is heard sometimes). 

I &'€., &c. or etc. are abbreviations of ct cetera = and so on. 



I. Calls. 5 

The occasions on which calls should be made 
are numerous. There are congratulatory calls, 
calls of condolence, and calls of courtesy. When 
any cause for congratulation arises, it is usual for 
friends to offer their good wishes in person. On 
the other hand, should some sorrow or domestic 
calamity befall any of our acquaintances, an 
expression of condolence and sympathy is to be 
tendered, but sufficient time should be allowed to 
elapse before we venture to ask to see them. 
After being present at a dinner or at a private 
ball (or a dancing-party), it is necessary to call 
within the next few days, or (to) leave cards at 
the door. 

Cards must be left on all occasions of a formal 
character; but the visitor does not send in his card 
if his acquaintance should be at home; in this case 
it is usual to leave it on departure. Should the 
person who is called upon not be at home, one 
corner of the card (or cards) may be turned down, 
which means that you have called personally. 

The usual form of leave-taking is Good-bye, 
or Good day, and among friends sometimes Ta-ta. 
A person whom I have seen for the first time 
will add: (I'm) Very pleased to have met y on (or 
to have made your acqiiaiiitarwe). In reply, I 
simply bow, or say Thank you (,Sir). According 
to circumstances, I may continue: I hope we shall 
have the pleasure of meeting again. At the same 
time we shake hands, and after this we bow (to 
each other). 



f. n. Shops and Shopping. 

In leavinsT an intimate friend, no bows or 
compliments are made. 1 just shake hands and 
take leave of him with some such remark as: 
Good-bye, old fellow, I must be off now; Now J 
must say good-bye; Then good-bye, till fo-morroiv; 
So long; (I shall) See you again, &c., ^c, &(-. 
iMy friend will send his compliments to my family, 
saying: (Give my) Kifid regards (or respects) to 
Mrs. So-and-So; Kindly re^nember me to yo7tr 
father (brother). My answer will be: Certainly, 
or With pleasure. 

II. 

Shops and Shopping. 

When I wajit (or wish) to buy (or purchase] 
note-paper, a pen, ink, a newspaper, a box of 
matches, cigars, or anything I may require, I g<.) 
to (or 1 enter) a shop in which I am likely to 
find the article in question. 

It is the exception for an Englishman to say 
he is going to such and such a shop (or store, as 
the Americans say); as a rule he prefers to mention 
the name of the man who keeps the shop, i. e. the 
shopkeeper or retailer. So he speaks of going to 
the grocer's, or to Smith's, when he means to 
say that he is going to a grocer's shop. (A grocer 
is a man dealing in home and colonial produce, 
such as spices, tea, coffee, sugar, rice, flour, &c.). 

Most people who are engaged in (or who carry 
on) a business or trade, do so in order to make 
their living by it (or to earn their livelihood). 



TI. Shops and Shopping. y 

The almost endless variety of businesses may 
roughly be divided into two classes, viz. '. shop- 
keepers who mainl_y retail (or sell in small quan- 
tities) goods bought from (or of) wholesale dealers 
(or "wholesale merchants) , and shopkeepers who 
chiefly sell their 07vn produce (or goods of their 
07vn manufacture, or make). 

To the first class belong the following: the book- 
seller; the stationer (who sells paper, copy-books,nibs, 
penholders, fountain-pens, ink, india-rubber, &c.); the 
fobacconist{w]xo sells tobacco, cigars, cigarettes, snuff, 
matches, pipes, &c.); the draper{\vho deals in coatings, 
dress materials, calicoes, trimmings, &c.) ; the hatter 
(who sells, cleans and, in some cases, also makes 
hats for gentlemen); the glover (who sells and, in a 
few cases, makes gloves); the hosier (who deals in 
stockings, socks, and other goods knit[ted] or woven) ; 
the jeweller (who deals in jewels, i. e. precious 
(stones, and sells rings, bracelets, ear-rings, brooches 
necklaces, studs, [sleeve-Jlinks, watch-chains, and 
other articles made of gold or silver); the mercer 
(a dealer in silks and woollen goods); the haber- 
dasher (a seller of small wares, as thread, needles, 
pins, buttons, ribbons, laces, trimmings, &c.); the 
pe7'fiimer (a seller of perfumes or scents, pomatum, 
&c.); the outfitter (who suppHes all things required 
for a journey or voyage); the gentleman s outfitter 
(a dealer in gentlemen's underwear, gloves, collars, 
ties, braces, &c.); the niilitary outfitter (who sup- 
plies the necessaries of a soldier, his uniform, &c.); 

I -viz. (from the Latin videlicet) is read: namely, or to •wit. 



3 II. Shops and Sliopping. 

the florist (who sells flowers, plants, bridal and 
funeral wreaths, &c.); the greengrocer (who sells 
fruit and vegetables in their fresh or green state); 
th(> cheesemonger and provision dealer (who sells 
cheese, butter, eggs, bacon, &c.); the dairyman, 
or i>iil]zman (who sells milk, butter, and eggs); the 
fishinonger (who deals in fish, oysters, &c.); the 
tea-merchant (who is a dealer in tea); the druggist 
or chemist (who deals in drugs and chemicals, i. e. 
substances used for medical and for chemical pur- 
poses, and sells patent medicines and proprietary 
articles); the (dispensing) chemist (a chemist who, 
in his dispensary, dispenses [or makes up] the doctor's 
prescriptions, and himself, at his own risk and in de- 
fiance of the law, furnishes medical advice, gcnerall}' 
gratis); the china-merchant ox dealer in earthenware 
(who deals in fine earthenware, glassware, and porce- 
lain [or china, so called because the first specimens 
are said to have been brought from China]); the 
gilder and picture frame w^X'^r (who frames, cleans 
and restores pictures, and regilds picture frames); 
the ironmonger (a dealer in iron goods or hard- 
ware); the cutler (who sells, makes, and grinds 
cutlery, as knives, scissors, and other edge-tools 
or cutting instruments); the toy dealer (who deals 
in toys); the bird-faitcier [who keeps birds for sale). 
Among those shopkeepers who mainly retail 
(or sell by retail) goods (or articles) of their oivn 
make, the following may be mentioned: the baker 
(who makes, bakes, and sells bread, &c.); the 
pastry-cook (who makes and sells cakes, pies, tarts, 



II. Shops and Shopping. q 

&c.); the confectioner (who makes and sells sweet- 
meats, i. e. goods prepared with sugar); the 
butcher (who kills oxen, calves, sheep, and swine, 
and sells their meat which is prepared by the 
cook, and served as beef, veal, mutton, and pork 
respectively); the brewer (who brews beer from malt 
and hops in a brewery, and sells it by the cask or 
in bottles); the boot and shoemaker (who makes and 
sells boots, shoes, dancing pumps, patent leather 
boots and slippers, ready-made or made to order 
[or to measure]); the viilliner (who makes and 
sells ladies' hats and bonnets); X^q furrier (who 
makes up and sells furs, as fur caps, fur capes, 
boas, muffs, fur mantles, and fur collars); the 
optician (who makes and deals in glasses, such as 
spectacles, folders, eye-glasses, opera glasses, mag- 
nifying glasses, &c.); the clock and watchmaker 
(who makes and sells clocks, time-pieces, and 
watches); the gunsmith or armourer (a maker and 
repairer of fire-arms, such as guns, and pistols); 
the saddler (a dealer in, and maker of saddles and 
harness); the upholsterer (who makes and supplies 
beds, curtains, &c., and upholsters furniture, i. e. 
covers it with velvet, leather, &c.); the furniture 
dealer (who supplies tables, chairs, beds, carpets, 
sofas, and every kind of furniture); the tinman 
(who manufactures and sells tin utensils). 

In London each special kind (or line) of busi- 
ness has its particular headquarters (or centre). 
John Bull (i. e. the English people) therefore 
has introduced the so-called "store-system". In a 



lO II- Shops and Chopping. 

"Store" the buyer finds almost everything (that) 
he wants, e. g.^ groceries, pins, brushes, flowers, 
liats, outfits, &c. All "stores" trade on the cash- 
system, i. e. on the principle of ready money 
^ payments. The so-called "co-operative stores" are 
trading associations which supply none but their 
members and shareholders (or partners) with best 
goods at lowest prices; well known are the Army 
and Navy Stores, and the Civil Service Stores, 
both of which carry on an immense trade. 

Other stores are "limited companies", formed 
by a number of shareholders, and open to all 
visitors. Two of the largest in London are Wil- 
liain Whiteley's Ltd.^ (Westbourne Grove, W.), 
and Harrod's (Stores) Ltd.^ (Brompton Road, 
S.W.). These two sell every conceivable (collo- 
quially: mortal) thing, cigars and cod, pork and 
pomade, wigs and walking-sticks, china and cheese, 
pianos and potatoes; they call themselves butcher 
and ba(n)kcr, bookseller and bootmaker, chinaman 
and chemist; they will dress you, feed you, build 
or hire a house for you, furnish it and fit it up 
comfortably; and when your hour is come to set 
out upon your last journey, they will punctually 
supply an undertaker and send horses, hearse, 
and mourning coaches (or carriages) for your 
funeral, and will erect a monument with a touch- 
ing inscription to your memory. In short, they 
are "universal providers". 

I e. g. (from the Latin exempli gratia) is to be read : ee-jee, 
or , for example, for instance, such as. — * Ltd. — limited. 



II. Shops iiid Shopping. 1 I 

Large firms which make a speciaHty of furniture 
are IVaring's, and Maple's. Charles Baker & Co.'s 
Stores are noted for gentlemen's clothing. 

There are also large Bazaars stocked with all 
kinds of useful and attractive articles. The best 
known in London are the Royal Arcade (Old 
Bond Street), and Burlington Arcade (Piccadill\'). 

Many fancy articles sold in Eng'land, especially 
stationery and toys, are imported in large quanti- 
ties from Germany, France, Belgium, and other 
parts of the Continent. Up to (the year) 1887, these 
foreign goods were sold in England as genuine 
English articles, and those who sold them at high 
prices did a very good business, as they bought 
them for less abroad than the English manufac- 
turers could make them for. The latter therefore 
sought for some remedy, and in 1887 an Act of 
Parhament was passed ordering all foreign goods 
to be marked in plain letters as "Made in Ger- 
many", "Manufactured in Belgium", &c. The Eng- 
lish public were very much surprised to find that 
some of the best and choicest articles which had 
until then been regarded as of genuine EngHsh make 
(or production), had been made in Germany. In most 
lines no stig^ma (or unfavourable distinction) now 
attaches to goods marked "Made in Germany". 

In order to supply the kitchen and table, mar- 
kets are held every morning. Here the retailers 
buy about sunrise, or even earlier in the day, 
vegetables, fruit, meat, fish, poultry, game, and 
flowers. The most interesting London market 



II. Shops and Sliopping. 



is Covent Garden Market, and no visitor to 
London should miss paying it at least two visits: 
one, say at 6 a. m.' (for veg-etables), the other, 
later on (for fruit and flowers). 

In shopping, it is necessary to know the phrases 
used in asking for what one wants, for the price, &c. 
The following are some of the usual expressions: 

In a Shop. 

Purchaser. Shopman. 

/. Oti entering the shop: 



Good morning (day, 
afternoon , evening). [In 
most cases, the English 
dispense with a greeting.] 



2. The buyer asks 

(I want) A pair of kid 
-gloves, please. 

I should like to look at 
(or I want to see) some 
kid-gloves, please. 

Will you show me some 
scarfs, please? 

I should like to see some 
views (or photos, i. e. 
photographs) of London. 



I (/. ///. (i. e. ante meridiem^ 



Good morning, Sir (Mad- 
am, Mrs. Day). What may 
(or can) I do for you? — 
What may I have the 
pleasure of getting you? 

— What can I show you ? 

— What for you, Sir? - — • 
Are you being attended to? 

— Is any one attending 
to you ? — Now, Sir ? 

''or tvhat he ivants: 

Very well, Sir. Do you 
like them light or dark? 
What size (do you take)? 
I think seven and three 
quarters. 

With pleasure, Sir. We 
have a large assortment. 

Will you come this wa}', 
please? Here are some 
of the Stereoscopic Com- 
pany's, or do you prefer 

n the inoriiing) is read: ay enitn. 



II. Shops and Shopping. 



13 



Purchaser. 



Do you keep illustrated 
(or pictorial, or picture) 
post-cards (i. c. with views 
of the tow-n, (S:c.)? 

I see you have advertised 
in to-day's (Dailv) ISIail the 
latest sciagraphs by Ront- 
gen's X-Rays; may I have 
a look at them ? 

Do you keep French 
novels? Have you any 
new ones? 



What is the price of that 
travelling trunk in the 
window, please? 

J. The purchaser docs not care for the article shown 
(to) him; he expresses a 7vish to see others: 



Shopman. 

some of the Photocrom Co.'s 
(or Company's)? 

Yes, we have a very 
good assortment. Will you 
kindly come to the other 
counter? 

Certainly, Sir. We have 
a very large collection of 
radiographs (or X-Ray 
photos). Will you walk 
this way, please? 

No, we only keep Eng- 
lish books. You will get 
French books atHachette's, 
18, King William Street, 
Charing Cross. 

Three pound ten. 



I don't quite care for 
(or like) this style (or kind) 
(or these, those). Have you 
no others to show me? 

I should like to have 
(or Do you mind showing 
me) a lighter (darker) colour. 

This pair (of gloves) seems 
to be too tight (wide). 
May I try one on? 

The buttons are sewn 
on very badly; there's one 
coming off already. 

K r o n , The Little Londoner. 8. 



Yes, Sir, we have a great 
variety. 



Just so, Sir, I think I 
can suit you. Will you 
step this way, please? 

Certainly, Sir. Allow me 
to stretch them a bit first . , . 
They fit perfectly. 

Yes, it is a nuisance; they 
cuill sew them on so badlv. 
If you'll wait a minute, I'll 
have it put on for you. 



14 



II. Shops and Shopping. 

4. As to the price: 



Purchaser. 

What is the price 
this pair? 



of 



How much is this pair? 



What do you charge per 
(or for the) dozen? Do 
you make any reduction 
for a quantity? 



Shopman. 

This pair is three shillings. 
That's a cheap glove (or 
Hne), 

Half-a-crown (or Two 
and sixpence, or Two and 
six) only. 

Well, we don't, as a rule, 
but if you take a dozen 
pairs, I'll put them in at 
£ 1 . 7 s. (at one pound 
seven, or at 27 shillings). 



5. The purchaser thinks the price too high; he 

asks the seller to reduce the price, and finally 

takes the article: 



I think that very dear. 
That seems rather dear. 



That's rather dear, isn't 
it? 

Four shillings is a very 
high (or long) price to give 
for a pair of gloves like these. 
I cannot afford as much as 
that. 

Let us say 3 shillings. 



I know I can get them 
cheaper elsewhere. 



Dear? It's a good line. 

I really don't think you 
can do better (or get them 
for less) anywhere else. 

It's a bargain, I can 
assure you. 

Excuse me. Sir. That's 
the best glove sold at the 
price. They are Dent's, 
you know. You won't find 
them cheaper anywhere in 
London. 

I couldn't possibly; wc 
only sell at fixed prices (01 
our prices are all fixed). 

That's a mistake, Sir (or 
You are mistaken there); 
not this superior quality. 



II. Shops anil Shopping. 



15 



Purchaser. 

Well, (or Then let us) 
split the difference and say 
3 and 6 pence, and I'll take 
them. 

All right, I'll take this 
pair. 



Shopman. 

I am sorry (or Impos- 
sible), Sir, but really I can- 
not. 



Very well, Sir. 
vou, Sir. 



Thank 



6. The shopman encourages the customer to buy 
other articles: 



Shopman. 

What next, please.^ Any 
collars or cuffs ? 

Is there anything else I 
can show vou? 

What else can I showyou? 

Can I show you an}-- 
thing else? 

Anything else. Sir? 

Is that (or Will that be) 
all to-day? 

Can I send the gloves 
for you. Sir? 

What address, please? 



Purchaser. 

Not to-day, thank you. 

No, thank you, not to- 
day. 



I think that's all to-day, 
thank you. 



Yes, if you please. Will 
(or Could) you send them 
to my apartments (or hotel)? 

Mr.—, 4 Bedford Place, 
Russell Square, W. C. 



Purchaser. 

Do you allow any dis- 
count for cash? 

Can you put it down 
to my account? — Do 
vou "five credit? 



y. The purchaser pays: 

Shopman. 

No, 4s. is the cash price. 
— Yes, we give one penny 
in the shillino-. 

O 

No, our terms are (goods 
for) cash. We trade on 
the cash system. Will you 
2* 



i6 



III. Food and Meals. 



Purchaser. 



Here's a sovereign. 
Good afternoon. 



Shopman. 

pay over there at the 
counter ? 

1 6s. change (or back). 
Much obliged to you, Sir. 

Good afternoon, Sir. 



III. 

Food and Meals. 

Everything that is eaten for nourishment, is 
called food. Before being served on the dining- 
room table, the food is prepared by the cook in 
the kitchen. All better-class EnglLsh families 
have a cook; the ladies seldom interfere with 
the cooking. 

Generally speaking, English cookery is not 
bad, but there is not much variety in it. Meat 
and fish are excellent, but English soups, vege- 
tables, and sweets (or sweet dishes) deserve (or 
merit) less praise than those on the Continent. 
All meals in England seem to be arranged very 
much on the same lines. 

In most English households, four meals are 
taken a day (or per diem), viz., breakfast (about 
8 or 9 in the morning, an hour later on Sundays), 
lunch (or luncheon, about i or 2), tea (about 5), 
and dinner (about 6.30 or later on in the evening). 
Supper (cold), as a rule, is only served on Sundays 
after church (about 8 or 9 in the evening), on 
which days a more elaborate dinner (about 2) 
takes the place of lunch. In pain English house- 
holds, the early dinner (instead of lunch) is the 



III. Food and Meals. j -j 

principal meal, whereas in wealthier houses the 
late dinner (between 6.30 and 8) is the rule. 

Breakfast almost invariably consists of tea or 
coffee, bacon and eggs, i. e. a rasher (or slice) of 
bacon with one or two poached eggs; or, instead 
of this, fried {or baked) fish (haddock, cod, mackerel, 
herring), now and then a mutton-chop, boiled 
eggs, or cold ham; a piece of dry bread or but- 
tered toast, and then some bread or toast, and 
marmalade, or jam— a very substantial breakfast, 
indeed. The lady (or mistress) of the house serves out 
the tea or coffee, and adds milk and sugar. The 
Scotch and many Englishmen eat nutritious porridge 
(i. e. otitmeal boiled in w^ater or milk) for breakfast. 
Lunch(eon) generally consists of chops, steaks, 
veal cutlets, or of cold meat (beef, mutton, lamb, 
pork), game (grouse, partridge, hare, rabbit, &c.), or 
poultry (chicken, duck, &c.), which remain over 
from the dinner of the previous day. Boiled 
or fried potatoes, (mixed) pickles, and salad are 
frequently on the table. Most Englishmen drink 
water at lunch; many foreigners prefer wine or 
beer (a bottle of Lager or ale). A piece of cheese 
(Stilton, Cheshire, Cheddar) concludes the lunch. 
The Di>iner is the principal meal in well-to-do 
families. It is a very important matter, and a 
more or less solemn affair; all members of the 
family generally dress for dinner. Punctually at 
the fixed (dinner) hour (usually at 7 p. m.), the 
dinner bell, or the muffled sound of the gong 
(a metal disc, something between a drum and 



I 8 in. Food and Meals. 

a bell) is heard, and each gentleman "takes a lady 
in (or down) to dinner", and all sit down in their 
allotted places. The mistress of the house sits at 
the top(-end) of the table, her husband at the 
bottom(-end), each lady on the right of her partner. 

A thick or clear soup, which is very strong, 
and often seems to be prepared after Spartan 
recipes— e. g. oxtail or mock-turtle — sometimes, 
but not regularly, opens the meal. 

Then comes the 2nd course, fish (trout, salmon, 
whiting, cod, turbot, sole, eel, pike, tench, carp, &c.). 

After this, a large joint of (roast)-beef is served 
as the third course, and is unsurpassed for excel- 
lent flavour and nourishing properties. It is 
simply roasted before the open fire, and thus 
retains the inviting, reddish appearance which 
they try to imitate on the Continent by only 
half cooking it. Instead of (roast-) beef (well 
done, or vmderdone), a leg of mutton, or chicken, 
veal, pork, or lamb may be served as third course. 
The host or hostess (or one of her neighbours) carves 
in the presence of the company; of course, on 
great (or big) occasions, or in big houses, every- 
thing is handed round after being carved by a 
servant at a sideboard. Potatoes and vegetables, 
viz., green peas, split peas, French beans (in the 
pods), white haricot beans (without pods), broad 
beans, carrots, turnips, cauliflower, cabbage, Brussels 
sprouts, spinach, asparagus, &c., are also offered, 
but are distinguished by the absence of seasoning. 
They are simply boiled in salt and water, and then 



III. Food and Meals. IQ 

seasoned with salt, pepper, vinegar, or oil (to be 
found in the cruet-stand) by each person according 
to his taste. A bottle of hot, ready-made sauce, 
"Worcestershire Sauce" or "Yorkshire Relish", is 
usually placed on the table for those who require 
a special seasoning. (The juice obtained from the meat 
in cooking is called "gravy", whereas "sauces" 
are artificially made to add a relish to any food). 

The fourth course is inevitably the traditional 
pudding (cabinet pudding, plum-pudding, ice-pud- 
ding-, &c.), or pie (apple pie, cherry pie, gooseberry 
pie, rhubarb pie), or tarts (also filled with fruit). 

Then come cheese and the dessert fruits 
(grapes, bananas, pine[-apple]s, oranges, pears, 
apples, peaches [nectarines], figs, dates, almonds, 
nuts, &c). 

When dinner is over, the table is cleared of 
everything but the dessert dishes and floral de- 
corations. At the end of the meal, liqueurs and 
wines are passed round. The hostess very soon 
rises (from the table), and all present follow her 
example. The custom of shaking hands after 
meals is unknown in England. The ladies retire 
to the drawing-room, the men remain a little 
longer "over the wine and walnuts", to which the 
"fragrant weed" (i. e. a cigar[ette]) may be added, 
if smoking in the dining-room is allowed by the 
hostess. The servant brings cups of coffee or tea, 
and hands them round to the ladies and gentlemen. 

The ladies are not left very long to themselves, 
and the gentlemen have hardly time to finish 



20 ni. Food and ^reals. 

their cit^ars before the host says, "Now, gentlemen, 
shall we join the ladies?", and the men, too, go 
to the drawing-room. Here the remaining part 
of the evening is spent in listening to songs or 
pieces of music executed by members of the part)'. 
To get an invitation to dinner is, of course, 
considered a great honour. When the invitation is 
a written one, it has the following generally 
accepted form : 

Mr. and Mrs. X request the pleasure of Mr. (aud Mrs.) 
Y's company to dinner, on Thursday, October 15th, at " (o'clock). 

4, Bedford Place, W.C, Oct. 8th. R. S. V. P. 

(read: Re'ponse, s'll vous plait, i. e., an answer will oblige). 

In case Mr. and Mrs. Y accept the invitation, 
the answer will be: 

Mr. and Mrs. Y have much (or great) pleasure in accepting 
Mr. and Mrs. X's kind invitation to dinner on the 15th inst. 
(i. e. instant, of this month). 

Rock Bank, Dulwich, S.E., Oct. 9th. 

Should Mr. and Mrs. Y not be able to accept 
the invitation, the reply will run as follows: 

Mr. and Mrs. Y present their compliments to Mr. and 
Mrs. X, and regret that a previous engagement prevents them 
from accepting their kind invitation to dinner on Thursday next. 

Rock Bank, Dulwich, S.E., Oct. 9th. 

It must be understood that it is a breach of 
etiquette to come even a little before time to a 
dinner party; otherwise you will run the risk of 
being mistaken for a waiter. It is the custom 
to arrive a little late, but not more than a quarter 
of an hour. Therefore invitations are issued now- 
adays " ... at 7 for 7.15", i. e., you may come 
at 7, dinner beginning at 7.15. The invited gentle- 



III. Food and Meals. 2 t 

men as a rule appear in evening (or full) dress, 
i. e. dress-coat and white tie, black or white 
waistcoat, and black trousers, but without gloves. 
Evening dress is de riguair(\. e. compulsory) unless 
the inv'itation tells you otherwise. The top-hat is, 
of course, worn, whether evening or morning dross 
or dinner-jacket (at small family or bachelors' 
dinners) is expected, but it is left in the hall or 
cloak-room, or given to the footman or maid. 

Some people indulge in the habit of eating 
with the knife, although it is considered very bad 
form to use the knife instead of the fork; the 
knife is only for cutting the food, and no educated 
person ever allows it to touch his lips. — Using 
toothpicks is shocking. — Bread should never be 
cut into small mouthfuls, but broken. — Clinking 
glasses strikes an Englishman as a foreign habit. 

Before (the) dinner begins, grace is usually 
said aloud by one of the family, and after dinner 
a member of the family returns thanks: "For what 
we are going to receive (or For what we have 
received), (may) the Lord make us truly thankful, 
Amen". This good old custom is even observed 
at large public dinners. 

Should there be any toasts, they are proposed 
at the conclusion of the repast. vSpecches so made 
are appropriately called "after-dinner speeches". 
The first toast at public dinners regularly runs 
thus: "Ladies and Gentlemen! His Majesty the 
King!", and is sometimes followed by: "Her 
Majesty the Queen, and the other members of the 



22 III- Food and Meals. 

Royal family!" English after-dinner speeches are 
short and to the point, whereas quite the opposite 
is very often the case on the Continent. 

As a matter of coarse, simple or poor families 
cannot afford a stylish (late) dinner of half-a-dozen 
courses. They have to content themselves with a 
plain (early) dinner of one or two courses, viz., a 
steak, a (mutton or pork) chop, or a meat pie with 
potatoes and greens, and a bit of cheese, or milk-pud- 
ding to finish with. Only at Christmas (abbreviated : 
Xmas) an exception is made: all families that 
can possibl}^ afford it, have a turkey, or at least a 
goose for their Christmas dinner. Roast goose is 
the favourite dish on Michaelmas Day (Sept. 29th). 

Tea is a very popular beverage with the Eng- 
lish; it may almost be styled the English national 
drink. One or two cups of tea are w^elcome in 
the morning, in the afternoon, and in the evening. 
A great many Englishwomen can no more do 
without their cup of tea, than their continental 
cousins could do without their cup of coffee. The 
English like their tea strong and fresh made. 
They put sugar and unboiled milk into it, but no 
arrack or rum, as many foreigners are accustomed 
to do. On the table, before the mistress of the house, 
are the tea-things, viz., the tea-cups, milk-jug, sugar- 
biisin, tea-caddy (or box), slop-basin, hot water 
kettle (or tea-kettle, tea-urn), and the beloved tea- 
pot under a cosy (a wadded covering, like a fur 
cap), which serves to keep the tea hot. At after- 
noon tea, one eats a few slices of bread-and-butter 



in. I'ood aiul Meals. 23 

a bun, a muffin, a biscuit, a roll, or a cake, some 
marmalade or jam, water-cress, or celery. In the 
countr3^ so-called "meat-teas" or "high teas" are 
not uncommon, especially in families where there is 
no late dinner. Cold beef, (veal and lamb) cutlets, eggs, 
pickled salmon, &c. are seen at such a "high tea". ^ 

The ordinary English supper (only on Sundays) 
consists of cold meat and salad, or simply of bread 
and cheese; water or beer is drunk at supper. 

Before every meal, the table is laid by the 
servant (as a rule the parlour-maid). English 
dining-tables are broader and longer than foreign 
ones, and there is more space allotted to each 
person. Several spoons (a soup spoon, a dessert 
spoon), knives (an ordinary, a fish, and a dessert 
knife), forks (an ordinary, and a fish fork), several 
kinds of wine-glasses — frequently red for claret 
(or Bordeaux), green for white wine (hock [i. e. 
Khenish wine], and Moselle) — a tumbler (i. e. a 
water-glass), a salt-cellar, and a serviette (or napkin) 
are placed upon the table before each seat. The 
plates are at the top-end of the table. A cruet-stand 
with sauces, mustard, pepper, oil, and vinegar in it, 
decanters filled with fresh water, and flowers — 
all these are found on a well-appointed table. 

I In most English houses, lea-tirae is at 5. But still, what 
is called a five o'clock tea, is not an ordinary gathering of the 
family round the tea-kettle, but may be rcgirded as one of the 
ladies' social pleasures. It corresponds to the continental ladies' 
"coffee-parties". Friends assemble at these five o'clock teas not 
to cat and drink, but merely to see and talk to each other, 
taking a cup of tea as a refreshment. 



24 



III. Food and Meals. 



At Table. 



Host(ess). 

/. TJie host(css) asks iJic 
g2icst ivhat he 7vould like 
to have: 

What will you have (or 
take), tea, coffee, or choco- 
late? 

Do vou take suo^ar and 
cream in your tea? 

Will you (or Won't you) 
cat (or take, have) some 
hot (or buttered) toast with 
vour coffee? 

May I send (or offer) 
vou some bacon and es,"S, 
or some haddock? 

Here is ham, cold beef, 
and kippered herring; which 
do you prefer? 

Do you like the beef 
well done or underdone? 

What soup may I send 
you, Mr. Darling, vermi- 
celli, or gravy? 

What wine do you prefer, 
claret, sherry, hock (or 
simply : Claret, sherry, hock), 
or Moselle, Sir? 



Will \'()u not have a piece 
of ice in xour wine? 



Guest. 

/. The guest makes (or 
takes) his choice: 

Tea, please. I'll (i. e. I 
will) take a cup of coffee, 
if you please. 

If you please. — Only 
sugar, no milk or cream, 
please. 

No, thank you, I think 
I'll have some bread and 
marmalade. 

Thank you very much, 
I don't mind which (it is). 

I think I'll trouble you 
for a slice of cold beef, if 
you please. 

I prefer it underdone, 
please. 

Thank you, I'll trouble 
you for a little gravy soup, 
a very little, if you please; 
I rarel}' take soup at all. 

May I trouble you for 
a glass of hock (i. e. Rhenish 
or Rhine wine)? 

No wine, thank you. I 
think I'd (i. e. I would) rather 
have a glass of water. 

I think I will. I lock must 
be iced to taste reallv well. 



III. Food and Meals. 



25 



Host(ess). 

2. The host(ess) asks (or 
requests) tJie guest to 
make a hearty vteal, and 
offers other dishes: 

Take some more pigeon- 
pie, Doctor! It won't do 
you any harm, I am sure. 



Allow me to send you 
some more meat, Mr. Cox. 

May (or Can) I offer you 
another cup of tea? 

What can I help you to 
(or send you) now ? Won't 
you try (or taste) some 
Welsh rabbit?! 

Help yourself. Sir. 



Any more beef, Sir? 
Have some more lobster, 
Mr. Shaw! 

Shall I pass you the 
mustard? 

Now try some poultry 
with sausage, will you? 

I see your plate is empty ; 
allow me to send you an- 
other slice of mutton. 



Guest. 

2a. The guest accepts: 



You are very land, ]\Iad- 
am (or Mrs. Berry, Miss 
Berry), I really think I'll 
take a little more, please. 
I'm very fond of pie. 

Just a small piece, (if you) 
please; it is very nice indeed. 

Thank you, I think I'll 
trouble you for a second cup. 

Welsh rabbit? I never 
tried it. Would you let me 
have a very small piece, 
just to try it (or to see 
what it's like)? 

Thank you, I will. 

2b. The guest declines: 

No more, thank you. 
— No, thank you, not 
any more. 

Much obliged to you, 
but I never take mustard. 

No more, thank you. 
I have done very well. 

I am much oblicred to 
}'ou, Mrs. D., but I would 
rather not, thank you. 



I Welsh 7-abhit is perhaps a corniption of "Welsh rarebit", 
and consists of toasted cheese served on toasted bread, with 
seasoning (pepper, salt, and mustard). 



_ fi IV. Private Houses. Boarding Houses. Hotels. 



Host(ess). 

You have not eaten any 
])udding ! 

Do let me send you a 
gooseberry tartlet, one only! 

You are a poor eater. 
I fear (or I am afraid) you 
have made a poor meal. 



Guest. 

No, thanks; if you will ex- 
cuse me, I will not take any. 

I had rather not, thank 
you. 

No, thank you, I've made 
an excellent meal. I've 
done very well, indeed. 



J. Of her phrases (addressed to one's neighhour) : 

a) J.Iay I trouble you for the bread, please? 
Will you pass the water, please? 

(I'll) Thank you for the mustard. (Colloquial). 

Kindly (or Will you kindly) pass the vinegar. 
On receiving what you have asked for, you v/ill say : 
Thank you, or TJianks, or Muck obliged (to you). 

b) What are you looking for? 

Can I pass you (or help you to) anything? 
Replies as above under a). 

c) Should (or Would) you like some vegetables? 
May I hand you the potatoes? 

Vv'on't, you help yourself to some marmalade? 
Do you (or I suppose you) take Yorkshire Relish ? 
The answer may be: Thank you, I will take 
some, or If you please, or No, thank you. 

IV. 

Private Houses. Boarding Houses. 

Hotels. 

I live in my father's house. It is a large and 
fine building situated at No. (i. e. number) 47, Broad 
Street. It has a fine facade (or front) with a balcony, 
and is not built of timber (or wood), nor of brick, 
but of sandstone. Its roof is pointed, not flat, and is 
covered with slates. On the top of the roof, there 



IV. Private Houses. Boarding Houses. Hotels. -, -, 

are several chimney-pots (to carry the smoke away), 
a vane or weather-cock (showing" the direction of 
the wind), and a lightning-conductor (a metallic rod 
to protect the house from lightning). A gutter runs 
round the roof, and receives the rain-water which 
is carried down the walls by the spouts. 

Like most English houses, ours has several 
stoi'ies (or floors), viz., the ground-floor, the first 
floor, the second floor, the top floor with the attics 
(or garrets), and the loft. A broad staircase (of 
15 steps between the different stories) leads from 
each floor to the next; and there are banisters 
to prevent people from falling over the sides. 

Below the ground-floor (and below the level 
of the street) is the haseme7it(-story), which contains 
the kitchen and scullery, the pantry^ (where bread 
and other provisions are kept) and larder^ (for 
meat before it is cooked), the wine-cellar, the 
coal-cellar, &c. It is in the basement that the 
servants Hve, and here, too, all tradespeople, such 
as the butcher, baker, milkman, grocer, green- 
grocer, &c. deliver what has been ordered by the 
cook. The entrance to the basement is not by 
the front-door, but by a little gate in the iron 
railings which surround the area, i. e. a kind of 
yard between the house and the pavement, intended 
to furnish light and air to the basement. Servants and 
tradesmen never enter by the front-door, which is 
the entrance for members of the family and visitors. 

I In smaller houses the words pantry and larder are often 
used indiscriminately. 



_q IV. Private Houses. Boarding Houses. Hotels. 

In order to know what sort of people wish 
to enter by the front-door, the Enghsh have 
invented a double system of announcing strangers, 
viz., two common bells (in all modern houses 
electric bells are found), and the old-fashioned 
knocker. The right-ha7id bell is for visitors, the 
left for servants who bring a message from their 
masters or mistresses. But the bells being a com- 
paratively modern innovation in England, most 
people prefer the medieval iron or brass knocker 
on the door. Not all, however, knock alike: the 
postman has (or gives) a double knock, the tele- 
graph boy a treble one, whereas visitors and 
members of the family knock at least 5 times in 
succession. Members of the family as a rule have 
a latch-key and, therefore, can enter the house 
without knocking or ringing the bell. 

When the door has been opened, we step into 
the hall (called passage, when long and narrow) 
after scraping our feet (or shoes) on the scraper 
outside the door, and wiping them on the mat 
placed just inside. Not far from the door, there 
are an umbrella-stand, a hat-rack, with several 
pegs on it, and a large looking-glass; if the 
three are combined, such a piece of furniture is 
called a hall-stand. In many houses, a gong is 
suspended near this, and is sounded to summon (or 
call) the family to meals. In some houses there is 
an old-fashioned "grandfather's clock" in the hall. 

The doors which open into the hall are, in 
middle-class houses, those of the (front and back) 



IV. Private Houses. Boarding Houses. Hotels. 29 

parlours (so called from the French parloir). Here 
friends and acquaintances are received, and as a 
rule the members of the family sit in one of them 
during the day; hence the parlour is also called 
sitting-room. In small houses, the parlour at the 
same time serves as a dining-room. 

On the first floor, at the front of the house, 
we usually find the draimng-room} , where com- 
pany is received. It is the best furnished room 
in the house, and has that name because the 
ladies usually withdraw there after meals. The 
back-room on the first floor, or on the half-landing 
(or mezzanine, entresol), is in most cases used 
as a bath-room, or as a bed-room, sometimes as 
a smoking-room or library. 

The rooms on the 2nd floor (or in the 2nd story) 
are as a rule bed-rooms; one of them is the nursery. 
In modern houses, -djater and gas are laid on. 
In some cases there is also an electric installation 
with numerous electric (incandescent) lamps (or 
bulbs), 2caAsiv itches ior turning on and off the light. 
On each floor a W. C. (water closet, lavatory) 
is to be found. 

All rooms are either papered or distempered. In 
the dining-room and drawing-room we find pictures 
(etchings, water-colours, oil-paintings). Parquet 
floors are very rarely seen in middle-class houses, 
but there is a carpet in every room. Only the 

I At the Queen's "Drawing-Rooms", held four times in April 
and May, members of the aristocracy, literary celebrities, and 
ladies and gentlemen of the upper classes defile before the Queen. 

Kron, The Little Londoner. 8. 3 



■yf^ IV. Private Houses. Boarding Houses. Hotels. 

kitchen and the attics are not carpeted. The hall 
is generally covered with linoleum or oil-cloth. 
The furpMnre is very substantial (or solid) 
and massive (or heavy), especially the mahogany 
or oak of the dini7ig-room. In a dining-room there 
are a table, a writing-table, a sofa, a couch, a 
certain number of stuffed chairs (filled with horse- 
hair) or upholstered chairs (stuffed, and with springs), 
several arm-chairs, an easy-chair (for ease or repose), 
a rocking-chair, mirrors, a large sideboard (upon 
which the biscuit box and a decanter are never 
wanting), and sometimes a grand (piano), or an 
upright cottage piano. In the dining-room, as 
well as in all other rooms, we notice a peculiar 
and old-fashioned kind of windows on the sash 
or guillotine principle, and therefore called sash- 
windows or guillotine-windows. They do not turn 
on hinges like the so-called French windows (which 
are mostly seen in France and German}^), but the 
two sashes (or frames) are raised (or moved up) 
and pulled down at will by means of pulleys, so 
as to open only from the top, or from the bottom. 
This old arrangement is persisted in because the 
winds in London often become very boisterous, and 
the guillotine-windows are not liable to be banged 
about and broken when the wind is blowing. 

The windows are hung with curtains; and 
there are blinds — inside (or roller) blinds, out- 
side (or Venetian) blinds — that can be drawn 
up and let down at will by merely pulling a 
cord. At night the shutters (usually inside) are 



IV. Private Housps. Boarding Houses. Hotels. , , 

closed. Plowcr-pots or window- plants are on the 
window-sill, and (bunches of) flowers (or bouquets) 
in china or glass vases adorn the table or the 
mantelpiece; the latter also has all kinds of 
knickknacks and a handsome marble time-piece. 
Unfortunately, our time-piece cannot be relied 
(up)on; it does not keep time at all. 

The draiving-room is very snug and cosy; it is 
the most elegant room in English houses. Besides 
sofas and couches, many drawing-rooms contain 
a lounge (i, e. a couch udthout a back), a settee, 
upholstered and cane chairs, while mirrors adorn 
the walls. 

The bed-rooms are all furnished in the same 
way. The main piece of furniture in a bed-room, 
of course, is the bed. The English bedstead is 
of iron or brass. First comes a spring-mattress, 
then a wire-wove(n) mattress or a horsehair mattress, 
sometimes also a feather-bed; on it is a bolster 
along the top-end, a sheet to cover the whole, 
a pillow in a pillow-case, another sheet, one or 
two woollen blankets, a counterpane, and (fre- 
quently) a quilt. Beside(s) the bed, there is a night- 
stand, a wash(ing)-stand with a complete china ser- 
vice (a jug, a basin, a soap-dish, a brush-tray), 
a water-bottle with a tumbler, a slop-pail, &c., a 
dressing-table with a looking-glass, a towel-horse 
or towel-rail (with one rough and two plain towels 
on it), a wardrobe, a chest of drawers (to contain 
shirts, collars, cuffs, stockings, socks, underclothing), 
an easy-chair, and stuffed or cane chairs, 

3* 



,_ IV. Pri\-ate Houses. Bo.Trding Houses. Hotels. 

In most rooms there is a fireplace. Stoves 
(iron or porcelain stoves) are almost unknown in 
England, except in the kitchen, where gas-stoves 
(cooking-stoves) are much used for cooking. The 
English fireplace is an open hearth in the wall, and 
the smoke is carried off by a flue leading to the 
chimney. The fuel (coal, rarely wood) is put in(to) 
an iron grate. A fender, i. e. a low railing of iron, 
or brass, or earthenware, around the hearth, pre- 
vents falling coals or embers from rolling upon 
the hearth-rug or the carpet. Within the fender 
we find the fire-irons, i. e. a pair of tongs, a 
shovel, and a poker; these rest on two andirons 
(or fire-dogs). By the side of the fender stands 
a coal-scuttle containing fuel. In summer, cur- 
tains are drawn over the empty hearth, or a 
screen or flowers put before it, to prevent it from 
looking gloomy. — Some large houses built in 
the modern style are heated by means of hot 
water circulating in pipes, or by hot air or steam 
produced in the basement, and conveyed into the 
various stories and rooms of the building. Such 
central-heating-apparatuses are called caloriferes. 
Most of the middle-class houses are lighted by 
gas; gasaliers (or chandeliers, with several branches 
and burners) hang from the ceiling. A good and 
cheap light is the Welsbach incandescent gas light. 
It is almost as bright as the electric light, and only 
half as much gas is consumed as with an ordinary 
gas burner. This great saving is due to the "mantle", 
a very brittle covering placed over the flame. 



IV. Private Houses. Boarding Houses. Hotels. o -j 

Comparatively few London dwelling-houses — 
but nearly all houses in the suburbs — have a 
small garden behind them. 

The house we live in is our own (house). It 
is not, however, freehold but leasehold, i. e., the 
ground on which it stands belongs to the Duke 
of Bedford, and so will our house, as soon as the 
"long lease" (which is of 99 years) expires. Our 
house having been built 19 years ago, the lease 
has yet 80 years to run, before the building- 
becomes the property of the ground-owner, the 
Duke of Bedford, who, by the way, owns the 
whole of the district in which we live. My father 
every year pays a ground-rent to the Duke. 

But it is not ever}^ one who can afford to 
have a house or a cottage to himself. Most 
English families rent a house to live (or dwell) in, 
and pay the owner (landlord or landlady) a fixed 
rent, on quarter-day (or quarterly), as a rule. 
(3thers rent (or hire) part of a house, e. g. 2^ flat 
(i. e. a suite of self-contained rooms on the same 
floor), and themselves furnish their rooms. Others 
again, especially single people, old maids or 
bachelors, live in (or go mVo) furnished apartments 
(they take "lodgings" or "rooms"); they are called 
lodgers, and pay so much per week or month to 
the tenant. The tenants (of a house or flat) and 
lodgers (in apartments) have to give due notice 
before leaving (or removing). 

The nobilit}' and the rich liv^e in imposing 
(town-)mansions or country-seats, which are often 



IV. Private Houses. Boarding Houses. Hotels. 
34 

feudal castles; the poor dwell in small cottages 
or wretched hovels. 



Business men, especially commercial travellers, 
are frequently away from home, and so are tourists 
who spend their holidays in other parts of the 
country or abroad. When they intend staying (or 
stopping) for a considerable time, say a month or 
so, at a certain place, they will do well to hire 
furnished apartments or a couple of furnished 
rooms in a private house. A card bearing the 
inscription "Apartments (to let)" or "Furnished 
apartments (to let)" is generally placed in the 
window or over the front-door of such houses. 
Breakfast is usually provided by the landlady, the 
other meals are mostly taken at a restaurant. 

Foreigners who go over to England for a short 
time in order to study the English language as 
well as English life and ways, generally stay 
at a Boarding House. The cosmopolitan character 
of London, and the striking peculiarity of English 
life and customs, are nowhere more clearly 
represented than in a superior (or high-class) 
boarding-establishment, such as are found near 
(or in the vicinity, or in the neighbourhood of) 
the British Museum, especially in Bedford Place, 
Montague Street, Gower Street, and (Upper) 
Woburn Place. The Daily Telegraph every day 
contains a great number of boarding-house adver- 
tisements. For the sum of 35 to 50 shillings a 
week or upwards, the lodger will have a bed- 



IV. Private Houses, Boarding Houses. Hotels. %K 

room, breakfast, lunch (about i o'clock), tea (about 
5 o'clock), and dinner (about 7 o'clock). The bill 
is paid weekly, and a week's notice must be given 
before leaving. No reduction is made if one has 
missed a meal. All meals are taken with the 
others boarders. There are ample opportunities 
for speaking English during meals, and after- 
wards in the drawing-room. The foreign boarder 
is often in great request at the piano. 

Travellers and tourists who have not procured 
lodgings before their arrival, easily find suitable 
accommodation in one of the very numerous 
I>ondon ITotels. The charges for rooms vary 
according to the floor. Fire and attendance are 
extras, and on departing, a small "tip" (or gratuity) 
is given to the head-waiter and the "boots", i. e. 
boot-cleaner and errand-boy. The new Hotel 
Russell (near the British Museum) and the Hotel 
Cecil are the most luxurious of the London hotels. 
The Hotel Cecil contains 700 bed-rooms, 200 private 
sitting-rooms, large ball and concert rooms, a 
restaurant, billiard-rooms, smoking-rooms, bath- 
rooms, lifts, a terrace overlooking the Thames, 
&:c., &c. Almost every great Railway Company now 
has a large hotel in connection with its London 
terminus (i. e. principal station). There are also a 
great variety of Teinpera?ice Hotels, where no 
intoxicating drinks are served. Breakfast is gen- 
erally taken in the "coffee room" of the hotel, 
but attendance at table d'hote is not obligatory. 
There are no hotel omnibuses at the London termini. 



- /- IV. Private Houses. Boarding Houses. Hotels. 

On arriving at the hotel where I wish to put 
up, I take (or engage) a room if I have not 
ordered one beforehand. 



Traveller. 

Could you let me luive 
a bed-room, a room witli 
one bed, with two beds? 

Have you any bed- 
rooms left? 

I don't mind whirl \ 
.story. 

That will do very nicely. 
Would you let me see 
them ? 

What is the price per 
night? 

Do you give a reduc- 
tion for a week's stav? 



Are attendance (or ser- 
vice) and light included? 

Very well (or All right), 
I'll take the back-room for 
a week. Will you (kindly) 
send my luggage up? 



Hotel Keeper, or 

Manager. 

I am sorry to say, I 
haven't one left. 

() yes; which floor (ur 
story) do you prefer? 

There are two left on 
the second floor. 

All right. Will vou go up 
in the lift, Sir? 

Three shillings the cjne, 
two and si.\ pence the other. 

Yes, 1 can let you have 
the larger one for i8 s.. 
and the one at the back 
for 15. 

O no! They are extras; 
one and sixpence per day. 

In a minute you'll have 
it. — John! 'Take the 
portmanteau and bag there 
in the hall up to number 
60, will you? Look sharp 
(or Be quick)! 



Before going to bed (or to sleep), I bolt iho 
door of my room, or I turn the key twice round. 



V. Clubs. Restaurants. Public Houses. Cafes. Newspapers. Smoking. ^ 7 

V. 

Clubs. Restaurants. Public Houses. 
Cafes. Newspapers. Smoking, 

The "true-born Briton" never thinks of making- 
the restaurant, cafe, or pubHc house the centre 
of his social Hfe. He does not stay there any 
length of time, and rarely spends more than half- 
an-hour over his lunch (which he usually takes 
at a restaurant near his business premises), over a 
cup of coffee or tea and a roll and butter (in a 
cafe, a coffee-house, a tea-shop), or over a glass 
of ale (bitter, mild), stout, porter, half-and-half 
(i. e. ale and stout or porter mixed), taken at the 
saloon-bar of a better-class public house. When 
his business-hours are over (about 6 p. m.), he 
goes home, has his family dinner, and usually 
stays indoors (or at home); for the English are a 
home-loving people. The saying "No place like 
home" is often on their lips. In case the English- 
man wants to spend a couple of hours with his 
friends, he either asks (or invites) them to come 
to his house, or to meet him at his club. 

The typical English club is either a restaurant, 
or a combination of a cafe, restaurant, and hotel, 
but only open to members, who have to pay a 
high entrance fee (varying from i to 40 guineas), 
and an annual subscription (from i to 12 guineas). 
Ladies and strangers are, as a rule, not admitted. 
Some clubs, however, admit them as visitors. 

There are social, political, military, naval, and 



l8 V. Clubs. Restaurants. Public Houses. Cafe. Newspapers. Smoking. 

literary clubs. Among the latter, one of the finest 
is the AthencBum (Club). 

Most of the club-houses are imposing- buildings 
situated in "club-land", i. e. in the West End, in 
Pall Mall, Whitehall, Piccadilly, and that neighbour- 
hood. The accommodation and comfort to be found 
in most of the London clubs are very luxurious. 
The meals and wines supplied are excellent. There 
are reading-rooms, billiard-rooms, music-rooms, &c. 

Well-to-do bachelors in particular find in their 
club a second home, and could not possibly do 
without it. There are even Tadies' Clubs, e. g. 
the Empress Club, and the Alexandra Club. The 
English clubs are in every way (or sense) what 
the cafes and restaurants are on the Continent. 
There is scarcely a town of any importance in 
England that does not boast one or more clubs. 

The endless variety of sportmg clubs (bicycle, 
football, cricket, tennis, golf, rowing, yacht(ing) 
[or sailing], coaching, automobile, athletic clubs, 
&c.) are not typical English clubs, but merely 
associations like those in other countries. 

Foreigners, and those who are not members 
of some club or other, are of course compelled to 
patronise (or frequent) the less select restaurants 
(luncheon-bars and dining-rooms), cafes, or tea- 
rooms (or tea-shops), e. g. Lyons', Slater's, P\iller's, 
Marlborough's, or even an A. B. C. (i. e. Aerated 
Bread Company's Depot). A good lunch is to be had 
at a reasonable price (or cost) only in the City, 
the headquarters of business. Llere the bill of fare 



V. Clubs. Restaurants. PubliL Houses. Cafes. Newspapers. Smoking. 30 

is quite English: fish, (roast-)beef , lamb, roast 
duck or chicken, a steak or chop from the grill, 
boiled potatoes and vegetables, salad, pudding, 
pie, and cheese are the usual dishes. 

Dining-places abound in the City and West 
of it. You can get a fair meal for a couple of 
shillings, and dine luxuriously for a guinea. Gattis 
(.Strand, near Charing Cross), TJie Holborn (in 
High Holborn, where there is a cheap, well served 
tabic d'hote at separate tables, every evening, accom- 
panied by first-class instrumental music), Frascati's 
(in Oxford Street), and The Trocadero{nea.rFicca.dU.\v 
Circus) hold a first-class position among a la carte 
houses. At most restaurants, a dinner frojn the joint 
(meat, potatoes, vegetables, and cheese) with a glass, 
tankard or bottle of ale, is served at moderate 
charges. The Grill Rooms supply steaks, chops, 
and other dishes cooked on a gridiron (i. e. a 
grate for broiling over coals). Oysters (which are 
out of season in the months that have no r in 
their name, i. e. May to August), and snacks of 
Jisli will be found excellent at Sweeting's (158, 
Cheapside), and elsewhere. 

A certain number of people eat no meat, fish, 
butter, milk or eggs; the}^ live solely (or exclu- 
sively) on vegetables and fruit. Such folk (or 
people) are called vegetarians. In London there 
are about thirty Vegetarian Restaurants. 

As there are, especially in England and North 
America, a large number of teetotalers (or total ab- 
stainers, i. e. people who never touch intoxicating 



. p. V. Clubs. Restaurants. Public Houses. Cafes. Newspapers. Smoking. 

drinks, as wine, beer, brandy, whisky), we need 
not wonder at the numerous London Temperance 
Restaurants or Coffee Palaces. Those pledged 
to total abstinence from alcoholic drinks have 
formed a large society (or organisation), the Blue 
Ribbon Army, so called on account of the blue 
ribbon which its members, of both sexes, wear as 
a distinctive badge in the button-hole of their 
coat or dress. Teetotalism is, of course, not ap- 
proved of or practised by cdl people, and is com- 
paratively rare in the upper classes. 

There are, as a matter of course, any number 
of Public Houses (or Ale Houses), colloquially 
called "pubs", in all parts of the town, mostly at 
street-corners. Here people go and quench their 
thir-st by taking a glass (or a tankard) of ale (bitter, 
mild), stout, porter, half-and-half, whisky, gin, 
brandy, a lemon-squash, a shandygaff (i. e. ale 
and gingerbeer), lemonade with a dash of bitter, 
&c. Lately, "Lager", i. e. a kind of beer brewed 
in England, after the fashion of German beer, 
has been introduced as well. 

As a rule, a well-bred Englishman does not 
frequent a public house, but goes into a(n) hotel, 
if he wishes to have a drink. Workmen, and 
frequently working women, are regular customers 
at the public houses, or at one of the magnificent 
gin-palaces (where chiefly .spirits [i. e. brandy, 
whisky, gin], but also ale, are sold). Especially 
on a half-holiday (Saturday afternoon), and more 
particularly in the evening, the London 'pubs" 



V. Clubs Restaurants. Public Houses. Cafes. Newspapers. Smoking. 4 1 

are crowded with drunken men and women of 
the working classes. In no city in the world is 
drunkenness amongst the lower classes so ob- 
trusive as in the British Metropolis. 

As for really genuine Alunich Beer (Pschorr), 
Kulmbach Beer, and Bohemian Beer (Pilsen), there 
are several places in London, where it is to be got 
(or found), as at The Gambrinus, Piccadilly Circus. 
Tt is drawn from the cask there. Most of the 
other restaurants and public houses only keep (or 
supply) English-made lager-beer. Beware of drink- 
ing too much, or else you will have a "head" 
(or a "sick headache", "hot coppers") next morning. 

Good wine is not cheap at English restaurants. 
C7«r^/ (Bordeaux) is most frequently drunk; Hock 
(a corruption of Hochheimer, and used to denote 
Rhenish wines), Moselle, Sherry (corrupted from 
Xeres in Spain), and Port (or port-wine, from 
Oporto in Portugal) are also in favour. They 
may be obtained by the glass in the Wine Stores 
called Bodegas. 

Cafes in the continental style are only found 
in the West End, and are generally connected 
with better-class restaurants (see page 39). The 
refreshments most in favour with English customers 
are tea, coffee (not very good in England), chocolate, 
lemon-squash, brandy, gin, whisky, toddy, sherry, 
port-wine, claret cup, champagne cup, cider cup, 
claret negus. American (or Mixed) drinks are also 
supplied at the cafes, and are rather popular with 
the swells; these drinks are composed of several 



.|2 V. Club?. Rp5taurant5. Public Houses. Cafes. Newspapers. Smoking. 

liquors, and always iced. Best known are the cocktails 
(brandy-cocktail, whisky-cocktail) made of brandy 
that is iced, flavoured, and sweetened. When the base 
is wine (sherry or champagne), the drink is called 
a cobbler (sherry-cobbler, etc.). Billiard-rooms are 
found on the upper floors, or in the basement. 
The better-class cafes take in a large variety 
of newspapers and periodicals (English and a few 
foreign ones). About 600 different daily papers 
(or dailies) and periodicals are published (or appear) 
in London alone. Subscribing to a newspaper 
at a Post Office is unknown in England. The 
average Englishman either gets his favourite paper 
from his news(paper)-agent, usually a stationer, 
or he buys a copy from one of the ragged urchins 
("paperboys") who rush along the streets, offering 
the papers they have to sell. The leading daily 
morning papers are The Times^, The Mornmg 
Post', The Daily Telegraph'', The Standard'', 
The Daily Chronicle^ , The Daily News^ , and 
The Daily Mail=. The most widely read evening 
papers are The Echo'^, The Sfar^, The Globe^, 
The Pall Mall Gazetted and The Westminster 
Gazette ^. The Weekly Sitn ^ is a good Sunday 
]);iper. All English newspapers are printed in 
very small type; a current copy of The Times 
is said to contain nearly as many letters as the 
whole Bible. — My favourite comic paper is Punch. 
Tit- Bits, Answers, Pearson's Weekly, and Pick- 
Me- Up are also very popular, and full of interesting 

I Conservative, z Liberal. 3 Independent (free-lance). 



V. Clubs. Restaur.ints. Public Houses. Cafes. Newspapers. Smoking. 43 

reading. The Graphic, The Illusirated London News, 
The Sketch, Black and White, The Sphere, and 
The Tatler rank foremo.st among the large illus- 
trated weeklies. The London {Magazine) and The 
Royal (Magazine) are popular and richly illustrated 
monthlies. The Grand (Magazine) and The Novel 
(Magazine) are good monthlies without pictures. 

Many of the cafes are the favourite resorts of 
^/2(?^.y-players. But playing at cards {snMiiX, cribbage) 
is strictly forbidden at a cafe; card-playing is a 
family game. (The 4 suits are: clubs, spades, hearts, 
diamonds; the cards of each suit are: king, queen, 
knave, or jack, ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, 
four, three, two, ace). Playing at skittles (or ninepins) 
is only an English country game. 

Of course, English waiters (many of them arc 
Germans, and also murder the French language, 
i. e. speak broken French) are not more modest 
than those on the Continent; they expect a 
gratuity (or a "tip") when the customer pays his 
bill. (Waiter! Bill, please! — All right, Sir!). 
On an average, a penny for every shilling spent 
(or in the bill) is left as a "tip". 

Smoking is prohibited in rooms where meals 
are served. There are in most cafes separate 
Smoking Rooms for those who indulge in this 
expensive passion. In the better cafes only cigars 
and cigarettes are allowed — no pipes. I for my part 
am a great smoker (or an inveterate, incorrigible 
smoker). All day long, I smoke like a chimney 
(or furnace, steam-engine), now a short (brier) pipe 



AA.y. Clubs. Restaurants. F'ublic Houses. Cafes. Newspapers. Smoking. 

(as most Englishmen do, when they are at home), 
now a cigarette (which I make myself), now a 
cigar (strong, medium, mild). Smoking- in the 
streets, or in the presence of ladies, was at one 
time considered bad form, but it is so no longer. 
Long pipes in the style of the German students' 
pipes are nev^er seen in England, but long clay 
pipes, so-called "church-wardens", are often used by 
old men. The English do not smoke during business 
time, but reserv^e this pleasure for the ev^ening'. 
In order to light my pipe or cigar(ette), I 
strike a (lucifer) match, a vesta (or wax match), 
or a fusee. If I have none, I ask any one whom 
I meet smoking: May I trouble you for a light? 
or Wottld you oblige me with a light, please?, 
whereupon he gives me a light, saying: Certainly, 
(Sir), or With pleasure, (Sir). If I feel inclined to 
(have a) smoke in the presence of ladies, I first 
ask (the) permission, saying e. g.: Do you mijidme (or 
object to my) smoking (a cigarette)? The answer 
will for the most part be: Not in the least. Sir. 
When my cigar has burnt down pretty far, I 
put it into my cigar-holder, which is of meer- 
schaum and amber-tipped. My cigar-case is 
very large, and holds about a dozen cigars; it is 
made of real Russian leather. 

I Quite a unique sort of pipe is 2'he King's Tobacco Pipe 
(or the Kiln), i. e. a long chimney, so called by way of jest, 
because confiscated or adulterated goods (tobacco, tea, copyright 
English books, spurious gold and silver wares) used to be burnt 
in its furnace by the custom-house officers. The King's Pipe is 
near the London Docks, not far from the old Thames Tunnel. 



VI. Toilet. . - 

45 

VI. 

Toilet 

Our black (or coloured) brethren in Africa, 
and most savages in hot countries in general, go 
almost entirely naked, and paint their bodies with 
bright colours, both for ornament and to keep the 
stinging- insects (gnats, flies, and mosquitoes) off. 
The inhabitants of civilised countries, however, 
as well as those of all cold countries, wear 
clothing. 

Every one of us, before going to bed at 
night, takes off his clothes, i. e. undresses, and 
puts on his night-shirt, or pyjamas, i. e. a flannel 
or silk sleeping-suit (jacket and trousers). Every 
morning, we dress (or put on our clothes). 

When I wake up (or awake) after a good 
night's rest, I involuntarily rub my eyes, and then 
get up (or rise) in order to dress. I first put on 
my pants (or drawers), then my socks (reaching 
up to the calves), or stockings (reaching to the 
knee), my trousers (familiarly: bags, or breeches; 
in America: pants, or pantaloons), and my slippers. 
Then I go to the wash(ing)-stand and have a 
thorough wash in cold water, which is far more 
refreshing and wholesome than (luke)warm (or tepid 
water. In washing I use a sponge, and a cake (or 
tablet) of unscented soap. I have a rough and a soft 
towel to dry myself with. Many people have a bath- 
room close to their bed-room, and have (or take) 
a tub, i. e. a bath (hot or cold) every morning. 

Kron, The Little Londoner. 8. 4 



46 VI. Toilet. 

Then I clean (or brush) my teeth with a tooth- 
brush and tooth-powder (or dentifrice), and gargle 
(or rinse my mouth). After every meal I also rinse 
my mouth to prevent my teeth from decaying. When 
I have done washing (myself), I clean my (finger-) 
nails; after this I comb and brush my hair (with 
a comb and a [hair-] brush). I detest pomade and 
perfumes (or scents), and never put any on my hair. 

My beard grows very fast, and so I (have a) 
shave (or I get shaved) every morning. Being 
(or Getting) shaved by a barber is an unpleasant 
affair for me, so I prefer to do it myself. I have 
a complete set of shaving-tackle, viz., a (safety-) 
razor, (razor-)strop, brush, and shaving-soap. 

After shaving, I put on my (under-)vest and 
(day-)shirt, fasten a stick-up (or stand-up) or a turn- 
down (or lay-down) collar to it by means of studs, 
put on a silk tie or scarf, a pair of cuffs with links, 
and lastly my waistcoat and my coat (or jacket). 

Before going down to breakfast, T take off my 
slippers, and put on a pair of clean, well-blacked 
boots or shoes. (Englishmen mostly wear laced 
boots). In summer I also wear brown boots or 
tans, i. e. boots of a tan or yellowish colour. As 
for my patent (leather) boots, I only put them on 
in very fine v/eather, or when I go to a party. 
When there is snow or bad weather, I wear 
waterproof goloshes over my boots. Before 
going out, I brush ra\ felt hat^ or silk hat, and 

» A low-crowned s\xS felt hat is colloquially called a bowler, 
a billycock, or a pot-hat. A low soft felt hat with a broad 



VI. Toilet. . _ 

47 

put on a pair of gloves: kid, buckskin, doeskin, 
or woollen gloves. (White buckskin gloves are 
mostly worn in the Army and Navy). 

In winter, I wear thicker and warmer clothes 
than in summer. When it is cold, I put on my 
(winter) overcoat (or top-coat), and when it freezes, 
my fur(-lined coat), fur cap, and fur-lined gloves. 

My wardrobe is filled with all kinds of clothes. 
Among others it contains a complete summer-suit 
(a lounge-suit, i. e. a walking-suit), a light (summer) 
overcoat, a mackintosh (i. e. a waterproof cloak, 
so called after the inventor Mackintosh), a long 
double-breasted frock-coat (with two rows of 
buttons) going down to the knees, several single- 
breasted morning-coats (with short tails), v^arious 
jackets (without tails, of the same length all round), 
any number of trousers and waistcoats, and a 
dress-suit for evening parties and the theatre. 
I also have a dressing-gown, but, as its name 
implies, this article of clothing is only worn in 
the bed-room or bath-room; no gentleman or lady 
in England would ever come to meals in such 
undress attire. 

The different parts of a coat are the sleeves, 
the collar, the tails, and the lining. My dress-coat 
is lined with silk. In every suit there are several 



brim is colloquially styled a Jeer-stalker or Hamburg hat. For 
a tall silk hat, the English have a variety of names, e. g., top- 
ftat, topper, tall hat, high hat, tile, chimney pot, beaver. A 
tall hat which can be folded by means of springs and carried 
under the arm is called an opera-hat or crush-hat. 

4* 



g VI. Toilet. 

pockets, in(to) which I put all sorts of things, such 
as my pocket-handkerchief, my purse, (Englishmen 
as a rule carry no purse, but have their money 
loose in their pockets), a penknife, my keys, my 
watch, a pencil, a pocket-comb, a little brush, a 
cigar-case, a cigar-holder, a pocket-book, and so 
on. (Englishmen hardly ever have a pocket-comb 
and brush, or a cigar-holder.) Coats and waist- 
coats can be buttoned and unbuttoned. When a 
button has come (or is torn) off, it must be sewed 
(or sewn) on again. The trousers and knicker- 
bockers (or knickers, such as little boys and 
cyclists wear) are held up by (a pair of) braces. 
I have my clothes made by a first-class tailor 
who only makes to measure (or to order). He 
turns out first-class work, and guarantees a per- 
fect fit and the latest (or newest) style (or fashion). 
It was only yesterday that he took my measure 
(or he measured me) for a lounge-suit. There are 
also cheap ready-made and second-hand clothes 
to be had, but better-class people do not care for 
them. Workmen are the ordinary customers of 
dealers in left off (or second-hand) and ready-made 
clothes. There are also plenty of shops in London 
where overcoats, dress-suits, and black suits for 
funerals can be hired for a day or night. My tailor 
has a very large assortment of most fashionable 
cloths in wool, half- wool, cotton, velvet, and in 
(or of) all imaginable shades (or colours) ranging 
from greys and fawns (or light-browns) to dark- 
browns, blues, and blacks. 



VI. Toilet. 45 

Ladies wear dresses, or blouses and skirts, 
with sleeves (tight or puffed) and trimmings, 
bonnets (without brims) or hats (with brims, felt 
or straw hats) trimmed with ribbons, feathers, or 
artificial flowers. Sometimes they also wear a veil 
to protect their complexion against the keen air. 
At balls they have elegant robes, and flowers in 
their hair. They never go out without (a pair of) 
gloves (kid gloves, suede gloves, silk gloves). At 
home (or In the house) they sometimes wear an 
elegant apron. In winter they put on a warm 
mantle, a fur-lined coat (or cloak), 2^ fur (a stole, 
a boa), a muff, in spring and autumn 2i fur cape. 

English school-boys may be seen in knicker- 
bockers and sailor-suits, cricket-suits, football-suits, 
&c. On vSundays they wear a short Eton jacket 
and vest, fancy trousers, and a top-hat. A college 
cap is occasionally worn by them on week-days. 
Most boys also have a winter overcoat (or top-coat). 

When linen and underwear are dirty, they 
have to be washed by the latcndress (or washer- 
ivonian); then they are dried, and mangled or 
ironed. Things which have to be stiff, such as 
collars, cuffs, shirt-fronts, must be starched before 
being ironed. In London the washing is often 
done very quickly and badly; moreover the linen 
is very roughly handled, and spoiled, or even torn 
after going to the laundry once or twice. 

English people are less frequently seen wearing 
glasses than foreigners. Still a good many have 
to wear (a pair of) spectacles (colloquially: specs. 



,_. VII. The Human Body. 

goggles), or folders, or eye-glasses (i. c. monocles). 
There are concave and convex glasses in gold, 
silver, steel, aluminium, nickel, horn, and tortoise- 
shell frames, for short-sighted (or near-sighted) as 
well as for far-sighted (or long-sighted) eyes. 

Most people have a 7catch and (gold, silver, 
steel) chain. Trinkets are sometimes fastened to the 
chain. Rings, plain or set with precious stones, 
are also worn. Brooches, bracelets, diamond' 
necklaces, pins, lockets, ear-rings, &c. are other 
articles of Jewellery worn by many ladies. 

When out for a walk (or stroll), people take 
a (walking-) stick or, when it rains, an itmhrella. 
Many gentlemen, especially swells (or fops, dandies, 
dudes, mashers), never go to a party without a 
hiitton-hole (i. e. a little bunch of flowers, or one 
flower only) in the button-hole of their coat. Tn 
order to protect themselves from the hot rays 
of the sun, ladies have (or carry) siinsJiades (also 
called parasols). At the theatre or at a ball (or 
dance), ladies use fans to fan themselves with. 

Tt is all very well to say, "Fine feathers make 
fine birds"; the main thing always is a well-lined 
purse, for "A heavy purse makes a light heart". 

VII. 
The Human Body. 

Every human being has a head, a trunk, and 
limbs. 



I One of the largest and most valuable diamonds known is 
the Kohtnoor (i. e. Mountain of Light) kept at Windsor Castle. 



VII. The Human Body. e j 

The Head. It consists of two parts, the 
skull and the face. The skull is covered with 
(dark, fair, light, auburn, chestnut, brown, red, 
grey, white) hair, or it is bald. Many bald-headed 
persons wear a wig made of false hair. The 
skull contains the brain, which is regarded as 
(or considered) the seat of intelligence (or reason). 
The face (the two sides of which are very 
rarely symmetrical and quite alike) consists of 
the forehead, the eyes, the nose, the ears, the 
temples, the cheeks, the mouth with the lips, and 
the chin. — The eye is the organ of sight, and 
is placed in a bony cavity called the orbit. Its 
principal part is the eye-ball (or apple of the eye) 
with the pupil. The eye-lids with the eye-lashes 
(growing out from the edge of the lids), and the 
(eye-)brows (hairy arches above the eyes) serve to 
protect the eyes, which are very delicate and 
easily injured. Many people have bad eye-sight 
and must wear glasses; others are blind of one 
eye (one-eyed); others again are totally blind 
through having been born blind, or maybe through 
an accident or an illness. — The nose is the organ 
of (the sense of) smell; it consists of the two 
nostrils and the bridge of the nose (i. e. the upper 
part of it). vSome people have a long nose, others 
a short, a pointed, or a Roman nose, others a snub 
nose (or pug nose, i. e. a flat and turned up one). 
— The }7iouth is the opening between the upper 
and under lip, and by means of it man utters his 
words (or speech), and receives his food. Inside 



-2 VII. The Human Body. 

the mouth are 32 teeth (16 in each jaw, incisors 
and grinders) with which the food is masticated 
before being swallowed. The tongue and palate, 
which are the organs of taste, enable us to distin- 
guisli the taste of anything put in(to) our mouth. 
The tongue, palate and uvula are also the most 
important organs of speech. Many people, in spite 
of having these organs, cannot speak at all; they 
are dumb (or mute); others are not able to speak 
clearly; they either lisp, or stutter (or stammer). 
— The ear is the organ of hearing. Numerous 
people have no sense of hearing, or have lost it 
by illness; they are deaf. Those who are born 
deaf, are also dumb ; they are called deaf and 
dumb. The lower and fleshy part of the external 
ear, that part in which the ear-drops are fastened, 
and by which naughty little boys are often pulled, 
is the lobe (of the ear). — In the face of many 
people we see a dwiple in each cheek, and some- 
times in the chin too. — The face of a grown-up 
man is sometimes ornamented with a beard (i. e. 
a full beard) ; others wear onty whiskers, a moustache, 
a tuft of beard called imperial (under the lower lip); 
others again shave, or get shaved at the barber's 
every (other) day. The rich man is shaved by his 
valet. Many gentlemen always go clean-shaved. 
The neck connects the head and the trunk; 
The part of the neck through which the breath 
passes is the throat, which shows a protuberance 
known as the "Adam's Apple"; the back of the neck 
is the nape. Inside the neck are the wind-pipe, 



VII. The Human Body. e ^ 

communicating with the lungs, and the gullet, or 
alimentary canal, conveying the food to the stomach. 
The upper end of the wind-pipe is the larynx, 
which contains the vocal c(h)ords, the vibration of 
which produces the voice. — On both sides of the 
neck are the shoulders with the shoulder-blades. 

The Trunk. It comprises the chest, the back, 
and the belly. In the chest are the heart and the 
two lungs. The belly contains the stomach (the 
receptacle of food, and the seat of digestion), the 
liver, the kidneys, and the bowels (or intestines). 

The Limbs are extremities connected with the 
trunk; they are the two arms and legs. — Each 
arm consists of the upper arm, the elbow, the 
forearm (or lower arm), the wrist, and the hand 
(called fist, when it is clenched). On each hand 
we have ixvejingers which are the thumb, first finger 
(or forefinger), middle 'finger, third or ring finger, 
and little finger. The finger-tips are covered with 
nails which are pared from time to time. — The 
parts of each leg are the thigh, knee, shin and calf, 
ankle and foot. Each foot has a heel, an instep, 
five toes with nails, and the sole. — We work 
with our hands, touch with our finger-tips, stand, 
walk, and run on (or with) our feet. When we do not 
wish any one to hear us come, we walk on tip-toe. 

The human body does not merely consist of 
flesh and blood. A framework of bones, the 
skeletojt, with the spinal column as centre, goes 
from top to toe, supporting the soft materials, and 
protecting delicate parts from being hurt (or in- 



- VITT. Bodily Defects and Illness. 

jurcd). The bones arc covered with flesh or inuscle.s 
and a skin upon which short, soft hairs grow. 

Impressions made upon certain organs of the 
human body are realised (or perceived) by one 
of the five senses; these are (the senses of) sight, 
hearing, smell, taste, touch (or feeling). 

VIII. 

Bodily Defects and Illness. 

"Health is better than wealth", says an English 
proverb. Happy indeed is he who has a sound 
mind in a sound body. Unfortunately a great 
manv people are afflicted with all sorts of bodily 
defects (or injirmtties) and diseases. A blind man 
or woman, a deaf and dumb man, a stammerer, 
a cripple (or lame person), a hunchback (or crook- 
back), a one-armed or one-eyed person, a cross- 
eyed man or woman (who squints), a person with 
a wooden leg, or one who is obliged to go on crut- 
ches, and many other people with bodily defects, call 
for our pity (or are really to be pitied). They are 
keenly pained when others make fun of them and are 
even indelicate enough to jeer at their deplorable 
infirmity, instead of making allowance(s) for it. 

The number of diseases is very large (or great) ; 
some are light, others are serious; many arc 
infectious (or catching), and in some cases contagious. 
There has been a great deal of illness in our family 
lately. Nearly every one of us has been ill (or 
laid up), and the doctor has been attending us 
daily. A sister of mine, the youngest but one, has 



VIII. Bodily Defects and Illness. r ^ 

been troubled with a cough for months; she has 
the hooping cough, I believe. Moreover she is dread- 
fully (colloquially: awfully) hoarse, so that she can 
scarcely make herself heard. Another sister, an elder 
one, suffers much from headaches and toothache. 
She also looks very pale (or anaemic), and seems 
to have chlorosis (or the green-sickness). I don't 
know for certain what is the matter (or what is 
up) with her; no medicine (or physic) seems to 
do her any good. Yesterday she was obliged to 
take to her bed because she had all the symptoms 
of influenza. She is in a bad state of health. 

My brother Fred (i. e. Frederick) has also been 
very poorly for the last six weeks. He had the 
measles only a few years ago, and has the scarla- 
tina (or scarlet fever) now. Of course, he is con- 
fined to his bed, and isolated from us younger 
children to prevent infection, scarlatina being highly 
contagious. He is getting better slowly, and still 
looks very poorly. My father (colloq.: governor; in 
the mouth of children: pater, or dad) has been 
suffering from gout and rheumatism for 3'ears. 
When wet weather sets in, he is reg'ularly obliged 
to lie on a couch in the day-time, that is, when 
the doctor does not insist on him (or his) keeping 
liis bed. After a week or so, the pain leaves him 
for a time, but soon returns. I don't think he 
will ever get rid of that very painful disease, 
which he has inherited from my grandfather. 

My dear old grandmother (familiarly: granny), 
like many old ladies, is asthmatic, and moreover 



e^ VIII. Bodily Deferts and Illnp?;';. 

subject to attacks of giddiness. I don't think she 
will live (or last) much longer. Uncle Tom 
(i. e. Thomas) died two years ago from an apo- 
plectic fit (or from a stroke of apoplexy). He 
was paralysed for some time, and, after a third 
apoplectic seizure, breathed his last. As for myself, 
I am not very strong either. I very easily catch 
cold, and then I have, as a rule, a cold in my 
head or a pain in (or about) my chest; sometimes 
I also suffer from toothache and a swollen cheek 
(or a gumboil). I think I have a decayed tooth 
or an abscess at the root of it. I should be sorry 
if it were a wisdom tooth, for I am going to 
have it pulled out by the dentist. The other day 
I had been running too fast. This caused a stitch 
in my side, and — to make matters worse — my nose 
began bleeding (or to bleed). I am hardly ever 
free from some ailment or other; but I have a good 
appetite and eat too much at times, especially 
of pudding, although I know it does not agree 
with me, and invariably gives me indigestion. 

Jack, a school-fellow of mine, had a severe acci- 
dent the other day. He was picking cherries in a 
cherry-tree when a branch broke, and he fell head 
over heels to the ground. He unfortunately broke 
his left arm, put out (or dislocated) his shoulder, 
and sprained his ankle. A surgeon was sent 
for, and the arm and shoulder were dressed, 
and a plaster of Paris bandage was applied (or 
put on). It was a good thing (colloquially: job) that 
Jack was not obliged to have his arm amputated 



VIII. Bodily Defects and Illness. cj 

(or cut off). He now has (or carries) his arm in a 
sling-, and will be obliged to stay indoors for some 
time. The doctor hopes to get him all right again 
in about a fortnight. I go to see him every after- 
noon, and keep him company for an hour or so. 
There are a great number of ailments which 
1 onl}' know by name (or by hear-say); I have 
not been afflicted with them myself, I am happy 
to sa}'. I don't think it very amusing, for instance, 
to be seized with cramp, to have epileptic fits, to 
faint (or swoon), to be afflicted with dropsy, to 
sprain one's ankle, to have a sick headache, or to 
suffer from chilblains in winter; nor is it pleasant 
to be obliged to swallow all sorts of doctor's stuff 
(physic, medicines), potions, powders, and pills. 

There are terrible epidemics and contagious 
diseases, such as cholera, small-pox, influenza, and 
consumption. A cholera epidemic, for instance, 
may carry off (or away) many thousands of per- 
sons in the prime of life. Consumption, that 
"scourge of mankind", is generally considered the 
most insidious of all diseases. There is as yet no 
known remedy for consumption. Consumptive (or 
phthisical) persons are incurable (or doomed) when 
pneumonia (or inflammation of the lungs) overtakes 
them. Phthisis in its earliest stages has been cured. 
Small-pox is exceedingly dangerous, too, but since 
vaccination (which is said to be a preventive of 
small-pox) has been made compulsory in all civilised 
countries, that disease has become less prevalent. 
I have twice been successfully vaccinated with 



o VIIT. Bodily Defects and Illness. 

calf-lymph. My parents believe in vaccination, 
but I have heard a great many people say that 
vaccination is quite useless. Diphtheria and typhoid 
fever are also very infectious, and frequently fatal. 
Cancer, too, is said to be catching; at any rate 
it is a very painful and deadly disease. 

In case of serious illness, the doctor is called 
in (or sent for). Our doctor (or physician, medical 
man) is very clever (or skilful), and in consequence 
has an extensive practice. He does not believe 
in prescribing medicine for every disease. The 
first thing he does is to feel the patient's pulse 
and look at his tongue; when he finds the tongue 
coated (or furred), he writes (out) a prescription, 
which is made up by a dispensing chemist, or, 
as is sometimes the case in England, by the 
physician himself in his own dispensary. In towns, 
doctors of the better class .seldom dispense their 
own medicines. Medical fees (or charges) vary 
according to the patient's supposed income. 

Those who do not possess any real medical 
knowledge, and yet profess to cure patients, are 
called "quacks" or "quack doctors". 

Poor persons, and those suffering from diseases 
requiring special care which they cannot get at 
(their) home, are taken to a hospital, where they 
are carefully attended by a large staff of physicians, 
surgeons, trained nurses, &c. Two collections 
are made every year for the benefit of the Lon- 
don Hospitals, viz., on Hospital Sunday (in all 
churches), and on Hospital Saturday (in the streets). 



Vni. Bodily Defects and Illness. 



59 



Phrases about Health and Sickness. 



Questions. 

/. Between 

How are you? 
How are you to-day? 
Do you feel well? 
How do you (colloqui- 
all\ : d'ye) do? 



How do you feel this 
morning ? 

Do )'ou feel better to- 
day? 



I hope you feel better 
to-day. 

What is the matter with 
you? Are you ill? 

You look so pale. Dou"t 
you feel well? 

How is your lumbago? 

You don't look well at 
all. What's up with you? 



You look wonderfully 
well. What rosy cheeks you 
have got! Are you quite 
yourself again? 



Answers. 

tivo persons: 

(Good news :) 

Very well, thank you. 

Quite well, thanks. 

First rate, thanks. 

Capital. And how are 
you? And how's (i.e. how 
is) yourself? 

Fairly well. Tolerably 
well. 

(Bad news:} 

I feel rather flat (dull, 
spiritless). 

No, I'm sorry to say, I 
don't. I am very weak in- 
deed, and have a splitting 
headache. 

No, I regret to say, I 
don't feel much better. 

Yes, I feel wretched; 
every bone in my body 
seems to ache. 

No, I am not well; I 
feel very queer. 

Not any better as yet; 
Fm afraid it's still very bad. 

Well, I feel as miserable 
as can be. Fm afraid (or 
I think) I am going to be 
seriously ill. 

Not yet, I'm sorry to 
say. My looks (My rosy- 
cheeks) belie me. I am 
still suffering a great deal. 



6o 



via. Bcdily Defects and Illness. 



2. About the health of 

How is your father 
(mother, brother, sister, 
&c.)? 

Is your brother still 

poorly ? 

Does the patient feel 
better to-dav? 



How are they all at 
home? 

How is your family? 

Are \ou all well at 
home? 



some person not present : 

(Good ftews.-J 

Thank you, he (she) is 
very well. 

He is quite well agahi, 
thanks. 

No, thank you; he feels 
all right again now. 

Yes, thanks, he is con- 
siderably better, I am glad 
to say. He will be all right 
again shortly. 

They are in good health, 
1 am glad to say. 

Quite well, thank you. 

Yes, we are all in excel- 
lent health, thank you. 



Is Mr. — in good health ? 

How is Mr. — getting 
on? 

Is it a fact that your 
brother Jim (i.e. James) has 
broken his right arm? 



Your uncle looks very 
miserable (or queer, ill); 
what is up (or the matter) 
with him? 

Is the patient out of 
danger? 



(Bad news:) 

I am sorry to say, he isn't. 

He has been ill for the 
last six weeks, poor man. 

Yes, I am very sorry 
to say he has. It will be 
about a month before he 
can use his right hand 
and arm again. 

That is hard to tell. He 
has been complaining of a 
pain in the lungs for some 
time past. I am afraid he 
is consumptive. 

No, I don't think he is. 
A relapse might set in, 
and that would no doubt 
be fatal. 



VIII. Bodily DefecU and Illness. 



6i 



Mr. Douglas is asked about his family. 



Is Mrs. Douglas (or, 
quite familiarly: your wife) 
in good health? 

How is Mrs. D. (or, Miss 
D., i. e. the eldest daughter) ? 
Quite well, I trust (or hope). 

Is Miss Jane Douglas 
(or your second daughter) 
quite well again? 



Yes, thank you, my wife 
(or, more formally : Mrs. 
Douglas) is wonderfully well. 

She is tolerably well (or 
middling). She is not very 
well, I am sorry to say. 

Thanks, the fever has 
left her, but she does not 
feel up to the mark yet. 



4. Mrs. Douglas is asked about her husband: 

How is Mr. Douglas (or. My husband feels greatly 

more familiarly: your hus- relieved to-day, I am glad 

band)? to say. 

How is Mr. D. getting He has not been very 

on ? well lately, I am sorry to say. 



5. Phrases expressing sympathy with a patient: 

I am very sorry to hear you don't feel well, 

I hope you will soon get over it. 

I hope it will not (or it won't) be anything serious. 

You are ill? Nothing serious, I hope? 

You should consult a doctor (or physician) at once. 

Go and have yourself carefully examined. 

Go to bed at once; you seem to be seriously ill. 

You must take (better) care of yourself. 

I hope you will feel a little better when I come to 

see you to-morrow. 
Cheer up! Don't lose courage! Keep up your 
courage! Keep up your spirits! 

Early to bed, and early to rise, 

Makes a man healthy, and wealthy, and wise. 



K r o n , The I<ittle Londoner. 8. 



f'^ IX. The Human Family. 

IX. 

The Human Family. 

All men are brethren, and form one large 
family throughout (or all over) the wide world. 
This family numbers, at the present time, about 
1500 million(s of) human beings. Asia contains 
more than one half, Europe nearly one fourth, 
Africa above one eighth, America about one tenth, 
and Australia one two hundred and fiftieth (i. e. 
6 millions) of those 1500 millions. Europe is the 
most densely peopled continent, and of its countries 
the most populous is Belgium. 

The human family comprises five great races, 
differing chiefly from each other in the colour of 
their skin (white, yellow, copper-coloured, brown, 
black), and the nature of their hair (silky, coarse, 
lank, woolly, curly). These five races are: the 
Caucasian (or Indo-European), the Mongolian, the 
Negro, the Malayan, and the Red Indian. 

Men, being gregarious creatures, live together 
in hamlets, villages, towns, and cities. Then again, 
men who inhabit the same tract of land, and 
have characteristics and interests in common, 
unite to form (or constitute) a state (or nation), 
which may be either a monarchy or a republic. 
Monarchies are ruled by a monarch, i. e. an 
emperor or empress (in Russia called czar, czarina, 
in Turkey: sultan), a king or queen, a grand- 
duke, a duke, or a prince. Republics are governed 



IX. The Human Family. "3 

by a president chosen for a fixed term of 3-ears. 
But the unit of society is the family. 

We are a pretty large family, nine in all, \iz., 
father (or papa^), mother (or mama'), four boys 
(or sons), and three girls (or daughters). My 
parents, I am happy to say, are still living (or alive). 
Aly father is the husband of my dear mother, and 
my mother is my father's wife. They got married 
some thirty years ago. About five years ago (or 
back), they celebrated their silver v^^edding, and 
I hope the}' will live long enough to celebrate 
also their golden and their diamond wedding. 

My Christian name is Richard, but I am 
generally called Dick at home. My surname (or 
family name) is White. I am the eldest of us 
children, but my younger brothers are much taller 
than I (am). My youngest brother Charlie (i. e. 
Charles) beats me by a whole head. My second 
brother Jim (i. e. James) is in business, the third 
(Albert) — a little imp (or mischievous child) — 
still goes to school, and so do two of my sisters, 
Jane and Maud. My eldest sister Maggie (i. e. 
Margaret), who is two years younger than I, is 
at home and makes herself useful in the house 
(-hold), but she will leave us very shortly. vSome 
time ago she got engaged (or betrothed) to a very 
nice and clever gentleman, Mr. Berry, who there- 
fore is her fiance or intended (husband). The}^ are 
going to be (or get) married next month, and then 

I In England, girls and little boys say mam(m)a, or ma, 
and papa, or pa, dad, daddie. 

5* 



A • IX. The Human Family. 

my pet sister Maggie (also called Pegg}', and 
sometimes Peg) will be Mrs. Berry. The engaged 
couple, as a matter of course, are very fond of 
each other, and they will make a suitable match. 
There are, moreover, seven servants belonging 
to our household, viz., the cook, the housemaid 
(who does the rooms, &c.), the parlour-maid (who 
waits at table and does light work), the coachman, 
the gardener, the boy (or "buttons", who helps 
the gardener, cleans the boots, windows, and the 
knives and forks), and — last, not le£ist — James the 
footman (who has to do various household 
duties, to accompany the coachman when driving, 
for the purpose of opening the carriage door, 
and attending generally to his master or 
mistress). ITntil a few years ago, we also had a 
nurse who helped my youngest sister to dress 
and took her out in the perambulator when she 
was still a baby. — We also keep a pair of 
spirited horses, black ones, a thoroughbred pug 
dog with a short thick nose, a, fox-terrier, a (torn-) 
cat, a canary bird, and a parrot which repeats 
words and phrases, and imitates various sounds. 
Ours is a ver}' old family, and the number 
of our relations exceedingly large. Our pedigree 
(or The line of our ancestors) can be traced back 
to the time of Queen Ehzabeth (died 1 603). In our 
dining-room we have the portraits of several of 
my forefathers. They all look very queer (or 
peculiar, strange) in their old-fashioned style of 
dress, but all of them, T have been told, were 



IX. The Human Family. fi^ 

very able, and distinguished themselves in some 
way or other in their day. My great-grandfather, 
for instance, was a famous officer in the army, 
and fought under the Duke of Wellington against 
Napoleon the First. My grand-parents (two grand- 
fathers and two grandmothers) have been dead 
these 30 years. But a grand-uncle of mine is 
living still. He is over 90 years old (or of age) 
now, but as hale and hearty still as though (or 
as if) he were going to live to the age of (or 
to grow as old as) Methuselah. Besides him, I 
also have a good number of near, as well as 
distant, relations (or relatives), viz., two uncles, four 
aunts, and about a dozen male (cousins) and female 
(or lady-)cousins. One of my aunts. Aunt Jane, 
has lost her husband; she is in consequence a 
widow. Her children are my cousins, and my 
parents' nephews and nieces. A child bereft of 
father and mother is an orphan. Orphans have 
a guardian until they are of age, i. e. 21 years old. 
An uncle of mine. Uncle Fred (i. e. Frederick), 
has been a widower for some years, but married 
again quite recently. His second wife is very 
kind to her stepchildren, and treats them as a real 
mother would do. She is never harsh or unkind 
to them, as stepmothers sometimes are. My aunt 
Ethel has remained unmarried, and is therefore 
what the English call an "old maid", a "single 
lady", or, in legal phraseology, a "spinster". Uncle 
Christopher has also remained single (i. e. has not 
taken a wife). He is an "old bachelor", and prefers 



f.f, IX. The Human Family. 

remaining so. But Aunty Ethel and Uncle 
Christopher are very genial (or cheerful), and 
kind-hearted; they are not in any way capricious 
or morose, as unmarried people are often said to be. 

When my eldest sister Maggie is married, I 
shall also have a brother-in-law, viz., Mr. Arthur 
Berry, her husband. My parents then will call 
Mr. Berrv their son-in-law, and he will have 
to call them father-in-law and mother-in-law 
respectively. Strange to say, mothers-in-law are 
sometimes wronged and dreaded. My sister, 
when Mrs. Arthur Berry, will be the daughter- 
in-law of I\lr. Berry's parents. 



A few weeks after the birth of a child (or 
baby, or infant;, the christening (or baptism) takes 
place at the parents' parish-church. Sometimes, 
however, the child is not christened (or baptised) 
until several months, and even years, after its 
birth. Christening in England is a purely religious 
ceremony; as a rule, there is no family festivity 
following. The godfathers and godmothers, who 
are sponsors at the baptism, i. e. who promi.se 
to see their g-odchild brought up as a Christian, 
usually give the child a plain silver mug. The 
Baptists, a religious sect, reject infant baptism, 
and approve only of the christening of adults, 
and then by immersion, or dipping, and not by 
mere sprinkling of water. 

Before being admitted to the Holy Communion 



IX. The Human Family. gy 

or Lord's Supper, the child has to be confirmed 
by the bishop of the diocese. Confirmation mostly 
takes place at the age of 14. As soon as children 
are 16 years old, the English law allows their 
parents to send them away from home; the parents 
are not legally obliged to provide for their children's 
livelihood any longer after that age. Many poor 
people avail themselves of this enactment. 

At (the age of) 21, persons of both sexes 
(male and female) come of age. Members of royal 
families are of age at 18. 

It is not necessary in England that either one 

or both of the contracting parties should be of age 

before getting married. A male can, without his 

parents' consent, "pop the question", i. e. propose 

to, and promise to marry, a woman as soon as he 

is 14 years old. Girls do not propose to a young 

man, but are in jest allowed to do so in leap-year. 

Engagements, or betrothals, are very seldom made 

known in the new^spapers or by printed card; but 

they are announced by letter or message to all 

relations and friends, who at once offer their 

congratvilations to the betrothed and their parents, 

either personally or by letter. The bride-elect wears 

an engagement-ring set with stones (diamonds, 

rubies, turquoises) or pearls. This ring is worn on 

the third finger (i. e. the one next the little finger) 

of the left hand, and is the gift of the gentleman. 

The latter does not wear such a ring. But 

nevertheless the engagement is so far binding 

that a lady who has been jilted (or given up) can 



68 IX. The Human Family. 

sue for damages; such "Breach of Promise Cases" 
are frequent among the lower classes in England. 

Some time having elapsed (or passed) after the 
engagement, the wedding is celebrated at the 
place where the lady has been living, and here, 
too, the wedding-presents are displayed. The 
banns need not necessarily be published in church 
before the marriage ceremony, which may either 
be civil (before , or through , the registrar) , or 
religious (in church), or both. Both are permissible, 
and equally binding. 

Most English marriages ordinarily take place 
between 1 1 and 1 2 in the forenoon, those of the 
aristocracy (or upper ten [thousand]) at half past 
one, although, since 1886, they may take place 
up to 3 (o'clock) in the afternoon. Before 1886, 
no English marriage was valid unless completed 
before 12 o'clock noon. 

In England, the pair are called the bridal pair, 
or bride and bridegroom, only on the wedding 
day, and when they are on their "honey-moon" (see 
page 70). In ordinary speech, a gentleman who 
is engaged, but not yet married, to a lady, when 
speaking of her, will say: My intended, my 
fiancee, or, among friends, my young lady; 
the expression my betrothed is too booky (or 
stiff), and therefore not often heard. The young 
lady, on a similar occasion, will say: My intended 
(husband), or my fiance. 

To wear evening dress (or, a dress-suit) at an 
English wedding would be altogether out of place; 



IX. The Human Family. gg 

even the bridegroom and the "best man" wear a 
black frock-coat, light trousers, frequently a white 
waistcoat, a light-coloured tie, and a "buttonhole". 
The bride's dress is usually of white silk or satin, 
and she wears a wreath of white orange-blossoms 
under her veil unless she be a widow or lady ad- 
vanced in years. The bridesmaids and other ladies 
as a rule wear elegant light walking-dresses. 

Only the bride receives and, for the rest of 
her life, constantly wears a wedding-ring which 
is usually of standard gold, and should be placed 
on the third (or ring-)finger of the left hand. 
Married men seldom wear a wedding-ring. 

English weddings are not celebrated on such 
a large scale as foreign ones. Strange to say, 
the English marriage feast is styled wedding- 
breakfast, even when partaken of after twelve. It is 
now frequently— if not usually— supplanted by the 
reception (or a.nAt-Home). The wedding-breakfast 
is, in fact, seldom an actual dinner; often people 
do not sit down to it at all, and the dishes are 
cold. A very essential part of this repast (or meal) 
is the wedding-cake which is 2 or 3 feet high, 
and is placed before the bride as soon as the 
time for dessert has come. She cuts it, and 
not only are all present expected to eat a piece, 
but it is sent to friends and acquaintances. Country 
girls are fond of putting a piece under their pillow 
at night, and any young man they may dream 
of, will— it is said— be the one they are to marry, 
provided that for three nights running they dream 



n Q IX. The Human Family. 

of the same gentleman. As soon as the cake is 
cut, the speeches begin. The first health proposed 
is that of the newly married couple, and this is 
often the onl}^ toast. The breakfast is over soon 
after tliis, and the bridal pair take their departure 
to spend their "honey-moon", i. e. the month 
after marriage, away from home. At the moment 
of departure every one rushes to the door to 
throw old shoes or slippers, and rice or "confetti" 
after the carriage. Rice and confetti symbolise 
prosperity or "plenty of all sorts of blessings": 
the slipper stands for good luck in general, but 
has in no way the same significant meaning as 
with married people in some parts of the Continent, 
where a husband "standing under the slipper" is 
what the English call a "henpecked husband", 
i. e. a husband governed by his wife. 

There is another essential difference between 
foreign and English customs, with regard to the 
bride's outfit. In England, the marriage portion 
consists of nothing but her trousseau, i. e. what 
she needs for her own personal use, dresses, and 
the like. It is the husband's business to support 
his wife, and he is expected to pay for all that 
is required for the household, such as furniture, 
table-linen, plate, &c. What the father gives to 
his daughter depends entirely on his discretion 
and good will. Eor, as a rule, the estate of 
English gentlemen is entailed, i. e. it cannot be 
sold, but goes (or falls) to the next-of-kin, viz., 
the eldest son. The other children are provided 



IX. The Human Family. _ . 

for in money, and have to be content with what 
they are given by their father or the head of 
the family. But this appHes only to the upper 
classes. Many husbands of the middle classes 
bequeath in their will (or, legally: "last will and 
testament") all their property to the wife, and, 
after the death of the latter, to the children, in 
equal portions. 

"Man wants but little here below, nor wants 
that little long", says the English poet OHver 
Goldsmith (t 1774). Z)^a//z, sooner or later, knocks 
at every man's door. When the Angel of Death 
has come and visited a house, the corpse or (dead) 
body is laid upon a bier, and afterwards in a 
coffin, in order to be buried after three days, or 
later. The bereaved family, and the friends of the 
deceased follow the hearse to the cemetery (or 
church-yard, poetically: "God's acre"), at the gate of 
which the clergy await the funeral procession. In 
Roman Catholic districts, and in the country, 
passers-by take off their hats when meeting such 
a procession. The deceased is brought into the 
family vault, or buried in the grave dug by the 
grave-digger. The sexton tolls the funeral bell. 
A funeral service is conducted by the clerg}'man 
(called minister among Dissenters); frequently part 
of this service takes place in church or chapel, and 
part at (or by) the graveside. The bereaved famil}' 
go into mourning (or put on, or wear, mourning, i. e. 
black garments) for a year, the relations for 6 months. 

It is the custom to have a momtment (or a 



••2 ^^' "^^^ Human Family. 

tombstone, an obelisk, a cross, &c.) of marble or 
stone erected in memory of the deceased. The 
epitaph (or inscription) on it begins with the words : 
"In Memory of . . .", or "To the Memory of . . .", 
or "Sacred to the Memory of . . .". Creepers (or 
Creeping plants), such as ivy, and flowers are often 
planted around the tombstone, or there is a 
weeping-willow to overshadow it. 

Instead of being buried in a grave, some 
people prefer cremation, and leave express in- 
structions to this effect in their will. In most 
of the civilised countries, crematories (or crema- 
toria) are to be found. There is a crematorium 
in operation (or in full working order) at Woking 
near Aldershot, about 25 miles to the S.W. of 
London ; others are at Manchester, Glasgow, Liver- 
pool, Hull, Darlington, Golder's Green (Hampstead), 
&c. The fee for cremating a body is about £ 5. 
The cremation of an adult is completed in about 
an hour, and the perfectly white ashes are placed 
in an urn and handed to the mourner. Most 
people have a prejudice against being cremated 
(or burnt). 

Now and again one hears or reads of 
seemingly dead persons who, in some cases, 
have even been buried alive. Those who are in 
a trance have lost all command over their limbs, 
and are apparently lifeless, although the palpita- 
tion (or throbbing) of the heart and the breathing 
are not totally suspended in this state of coma, 
or apparent death. 



X. Education. >- -j 

X. 

Education. 

English education, with the exception of that 
of the Universities, is now fully organised, and 
under Government control. Up to 1902, com- 
plete control was limited to the elementary schools. 
By the new Education Act, however, primary, 
secondary, and higher (technical, commercial, &c). 
education (not including that of the Universities) 
were, in 1903, brought under responsible authorities 
charged with the provision and maintenance of 
such efficient schools as the requirements of their 
respective areas demand. 

The new central authority is the Board of 
Education, which consists of a President, a Par- 
liamentary Secretary, and a Consultative Committee 
of seven persons. There are, besides, staffs of 
Inspectors for primary and secondary education 
respectively, in addition to the other officials 
required for the purpose of administration. 

The local education authority for the adminis- 
tration of primary, secondary, and higher education 
is the Council of every county or of every 
county borough, acting through an Education 
Cofumittee which includes a certain number of 
(4 or more) co-opted members specially invited 
to serve on the committee, but who have not 
been elected by popular vote as councillors. 

Recognised schools, that is those recognised 
by the Board of Education as efficient, are divided 



7 A X. Education. 

into two classes: elementary (or primary), and 
secondar3^ 

Elementary Schools may be Doioniinational 
Schools or Undenominational Schools. In the 
former, the religious instruction is that of a definite 
religious body, e. g. Church of England, Wesley an, 
Roman Catholic, &c. In the Undenominational 
schools, the religious teaching is not distinctive 
of any particular sect. 

Education is compulsory, and no fees (or 
school pence) are paid in the elementary schools. 
The principal subjects taught are the three R's: 
Reading, vvRiting, aRithmetic. Provision is made 
for instruction in religious knowledge, English 
grammar , histor}^ , geography , natural history 
("nature study"), drawing, manual instruction, 
singing', physical training (drill and g3'mnastics). 
Some of these subjects are optional. — There 
are 7 standards; the first is the lowest, the seventh 
the highest standard. Most children attend school 
from the age of 5 to 14. The lessons are given 
in class-rooms; Saturday and Sunday are holidays. 
The school-hours as a rule are from q to 12, and 
from 1.30 to 4. There are also In/ant Schools 
and Kindergartens for children from 3 to 6 years 
of age. - TecJmical Schools (or Colleges) and 
Commercial Schools have been organised in the 
large towns in order to enable the coming 
generation to cope with the keen competition of 
other nations in the markets of the world. 

The English Secondary Schools (Grammar 



X. Education. •• r 

Schools, County Schools, Municipal Schools, &c.) 
are managed by a special committee or board of 
governors; but, as in the case of the primary 
schools, they are under the control of the local 
education authority. Private Schools, that is 
schools conducted for private profit, still exist, 
but it is probable that, under the new condition of 
things, they will rapidly decrease in numbers. 
Most of these schools are "Boarding Schools"; 
lliey receive boarders or (resident) pupils who 
have board and lodging" at the establishment. 
Schools attended by (non-resident) "day-boys" 
are termed "Day Schools". In secondary schools, 
games (or sports) receive great attention. 

The nine so-called Great(er) Public Schools, 
which are independent of external control, have 
a particularly good reputation. They are the 
following-: Eton College, Harrow School, Rugby 
School, Winchester College, Westminster School, 
Charterhouse School, Shrewsbury School, St. Paul's 
School, Merchant Taylors' School. All of them 
can boast of "Old Boys" (e. g. Old Etonians, 
Old Harrovians) who have become famous in the 
different vocations of life. The pupils are for 
the most part sons of the aristocracy and gentry. 
With each of these schools is connected a number 
of hostels (or boarding-houses), in which the pupils 
reside under the supervision of a house master. 
An appointment to the management of a hostel 
is regarded as one of the "plums" (i. e. luxuries, 
best things) of the profession. 



..£ X. Education. 

Classics (Latin and Greek) and modern lan- 
guages (French, German), mathematics (geometry, 
usually called "Euclid", trigonometry, and algebra), 
natural science, scripture, English history, and 
geography are the subjects which predominate at 
secondary schools "for sons of gentlemen". — There 
are 6 forms; the first form is the lowest, the 
sixth the highest. Some forms are subdivided, 
e. g., there is a lower third, and an upper third 
(form). 

The scholastic year lasts from autumn to mid- 
summer, and is divided into j ter7ns. At the end 
of every term, each pupil gets a report. Those 
boys who have satisfied their masters in the 
examinations are moved up into a higher form. 
Before breaking up, there is a speech-day and 
prize- distribu tion . 

In the Greater English Public vSchools (Eton, 
Harrow, &c.) there is no final examination, except 
such as must be passed for entrance to (or matric- 
ulation at) one of the Universities. School 
examinations, of course, are held, and prizes for 
the various subjects are awarded. In the ordinary 
secondary schools, however, inspections are 
regularly made by Government inspectors. Surprise 
visits are paid from time to time to test the 
quality of the instruction given. Many schools 
present their pupils at external examinations 
held periodically (usually at midsummer and at 
Christmas) by the Universities or other examining 
bodies. The Universities of Oxford, Cambridge, 



X. Education. -^m 

and London, and the College of Preceptors (London), 
for instance, hold such "Local" Examinations at 
different "centres" (or places), and grant certificates 
to successful candidates. The tests are generally 
made by means of printed papers, and the questions 
are answered in writing-. In some instances, e. g. 
in languag-es, oral tests are also given. A certain 
fee {£ I at Oxford) is charged, the papers are 
examined by specially appointed examiners, and 
classified lists ("honours", "pass", first or second 
"division") are issued after an interval of a month 
or six weeks. 

There are fifteen Universities in Great Britain 
and Ireland: England has 9 such institutions, 
Scotland 4, Ireland 3, and Wales i. But these 
Universities cannot well be compared with each 
other, much less with the continental ones: instead 
of working on the same principles, each goes 
its own way. As a matter of fact, the British 
Universities do not pretend to prepare students 
as fully for most professions as the continental 
ones do. Few men reading medicine or law are 
satisfied with what the Universities offer them. 
For their final preparation, medical students e. g. 
are bound to go to one of the large Hospitals, 
and candidates for the Bar to one of the four 
London "Inns of Court" (the Inner Temple, the 
Middle Temple, Lincoln's Inn, Gray's Inn). These 
Inns are incorporated societies which undertake 
the teaching and examining of law-students, and 
"call" them "to the Bar". Only those who go 

Kron, The Little Londoner. 8. " 



mm Q X. Education. 

in for Holy Orders, and for secondary school or 
University teaching, and most of the higher 
Government officials find at the Universit}' almost 
everything they require for their profession. 

The English Universities — Oxford and Cam- 
bridge at any rate — - consist of a number of 
separate Colleges. Each College has its own 
Head (at Oxford called Warden, President, Master, 
Principal, Provost, &c., at Cambridge almost uni- 
formly Master), and a number of Fellows, some 
of w^hom are Tutors ; the latter advise (or instruct) 
the students, and maintain discipline. 

Before being admitted into one of the Colleges, 
the candidate has to pass an entrance examination. 
Those who have previously obtained scholarships 
at (or stand on the foundation of) one of the 
Colleges, are admitted without being examined. 
After being admitted, the freshman (or fresher) 
can matriculate, i. e. become a member of the 
University. A matriculated student, until he has 
taken his degree, is termed an undergraduate. 
Oxford has 21 Colleges, Cambridge 17; each 
University numbers above 3000 undergraduates. 

The bulk (or majority) of the undergraduates 
live in their respective Colleges, and take their 
dinner in the College Hall, in common with the 
Fellows. But there is also a relatively small 
number of non-collegiate or unattached students 
who live in private lodgings (or in apartments). 

Most undergraduates are "commoners" (at 
Oxford) or "pensioners" (at Cambridge), that means, 



X. Education. aaf^ 

paying boarders. Many, however, the so-called 
"scholars", are partly supported by scholarships which 
they have obtained after a competitive examination. 

At the beginning of his first term, the under- 
graduate is expected to pass an easy examination, 
the so-called "Smalls" (at Oxford) or "Little-Go" 
(at Cambridge). 

The Oxford and Cambridge undergraduates are 
under the control of their College Dean (one of the 
Fellows) dind Ttitors; and there are, besides, certain 
University officials, called Proctors, who go their 
rounds every night, in order to see that the 
students behave in a becoming manner. Those 
who misbehave are at once stopped by the Proctor's 
attendants (called "bulldogs" in students' slang). 
During lectures, at Hall (i. e, at dinner), and when 
in town after dinner, every under grad(uate) has 
to wear his cap and gown. 

The cap is black, and looks much like the 
shako of the English lancers; the black or dark 
blue gown is a loose robe, and rather short (the 
graduates have long gowns). 

In all Colleges there are men-servants, called 

"gyps" (Cambridge) or "scouts" (Oxford). They have 

to clean the students' boots, brush their clothes, or 

• go errands; at Oxford they are also "bedmakers". 

At Cambridge elderly women act as "bedmakers". 

The College Year (four terms) practically lasts 
about 23 weeks. In summer there are about 
three and a half months vacation, the so-called 
"Long" (i. e. Long Vacation). 

6* 



Q^ X. Education. 

The degree of B. A. (Baccalaureus Artium, 
Bachelor of Arts), which is the ordinary English 
University degree ^ cannot be taken (or obtained) 
in less than three years. The instruction is mainly 
given by the College Tutors and Lecturers, and 
by University Professors and Readers. The 
undergraduates are divided into classes which 
are managed much on the same lines as those of 
the good secondary schools. After the first exam- 
ination — Smalls (Oxford), Little-Go (Cambridge) — , 
the student has to choose whether he wishes 
merely to read for a pass ("Pass-men" at Oxford, 
"Poll-men" at Cambridge), or whether he intends 
to pass with honours ("Honour-men") when taking 
his B. A. (degree). The Honour-men go in for the 
highest University examination, called "Honour- 
Schools" at Oxford, and "Tripos" at Cambridge. 
Many students receive private tuition (or put on a 
"coach", or take a "coach", as the private tutor 
is called), and in some cases simpl}- reproduce 
the-cut-and-dried answers to all possible questions 
supplied by their "coach". 

At Cambridge, those who come out in the 
first class in mathematics are called "wranglers"; 
the first of these is the "senior wrangler". 

The second degree, that of M. A. (Magister 
Artium, Master of Arts), implies no intellectual 
superiority over the B. A., for at Oxford and 
Cambridge it is conferred, without an examination, 
on all Bachelors of Arts who have had their 



» The Scotch Universities do not award the degree of B. A. 



X. Ednration. Q j 

names on the books for 26 terms (6^ years) since 
their matriculation, and have paid certain fees.^ 
University Hfe in England does not bear any 
resemblance to that of Continental students. There 
are not many drinking clubs, drinking customs or 
students' songs, and no duelling. Boxing is only 
practised as an athletic exercise, and never in 
settling an affair of honour. When an Englishman is 
offended by another, he simply has nothing more 
to do with him. Social gatherings in the students' 
own rooms are, of course, frequently held. There 
is a fine University club-house, the "Union 
Society", both at Oxford and Cambridge; it com- 
bines a library, a reading-room, a smoking-room, 
a coffee-room, and a debating-hall. The keenest 
interest is taken in all kinds of sport: cricket, 
foot-ball, golf, tennis, lacrosse, boating (or rowing), 
swimming, &c. Ever}'^ year, on the second Satur- 
day before Easter, the Oxford and Cambridge 
Boat Race, commonly called The Boat Race, or 
Varsity (colloquial for U^iiversity) Race, is rowed 
near London, on the Thames. The course is from 
Putney to Mortlake, a distance of 4— miles. 
Nine Oxford men (Oxonians) and g Cambridge 
men (Cantabs) are chosen from the different 
Colleges by their Universities' Boat Clubs, and 
for many months beforehand, are specially trained 
for this race on the Isis and Cam respectively, 

and finally over the course itself. The Boat Race 

•# 

I In Scotland, the degree of M. A. is at once awarded to 

all candidates passing a certain examination. 



8 2 ^- Education. 

is one of the chief events of the year, and the 
J.ondoners pour out in big crowds to see (or 
witness) it. Everybody wears the colours of the 
University he favours, either the Oxford dark-bkie 
or the Cambridge light-blue. Up to the year 
igo6 (inclusive), the Oxonians have won the race 
on 34 occasions, the Cambridg'e crew has been 
victorious 28 times; only once — in 1877 — a 
"dead heat" resulted, i. e., both boats reached the 
winning-post together. 

Of the Universities of the United Kinsdom 
one of the best is the U7tiversity of London. 
Up to the year 1899 it was only an examining 
body, but there is a Teaching University in con- 
nection with it now. The matriculation examination 
(the "London Matric") is not easy. The London 
B. A. has an excellent reputation, and so has the 
J.ondon M. A., which is only conferred after passing 
another severe examination. More than a dozen 
Teaching Colleges are affiliated to the University 
of London, among others University College (in 
(lower Street), and King's College (in the vStrand). 
The various (eight) Faculties are: Theology, Law, 
Medicine, Science, Arts, Music, Engineering, 
and Economics and Political Science. The other 
Universities in England are Durham University, 
the Victoria University of Manchester, and the 
new Universities of Birniinghaffi, of Liverpool, 
of Leeds, and of Sheffield. — Edinburgh, Glasgow, 
Aberdeen, and St. Andrews are the 4 Scotch 
Universities; they are in many respects like those on 



XI. English Society. The Various Callings. 83 

the Continent. — At the Universities of Wales and 
of Dublin (Trinity College) residence is compulsory, 
whereas the Royal U^iiversity of Ireland and the 
(Roman) Catholic University of Ireland (head- 
quarters at Dublin) are simply examining bodies. 
All work and no play makes Jack a. dull boy ! 

XL 

English Society. The Various Callings. 

Society. 
In rank, the reigning Sovereign, the Princes 
and Princesses of the Blood Royal and of the 
Blood take precedence. The Nobility (or Peerage) 
comes next, and then the Gentr3^ 

The English Nobility, or Peerage, comprises 
five degrees, viz., the title of Duke or Duchess (the 
highest degree), that of Marquess or Marchioness, 
Earl or Countess, Viscount or Viscountess, and 
Baron or Baroness. With the exception of the 
Duke and Duchess, these are in conversation 
spoken of as Lord or Lady So-and-So, and 
addressed as My Lord or My Lady, or Your Lord- 
ship, Your Ladyship. The sons and daughters 
of noblemen by rights are simply commoners, 
although by courtesy the eldest sons of Dukes, 
Marquesses or Earls take their father's second 
title, while the eldest sons of Viscounts and 
Barons have no distinctive titled 



I It should be noted that the title of "Lord" is confined to 
British noblemen. A German "Herr von Bismarck" is in 



Sd. XI- English Society. The Various Callings. 

The English Gentry comprises the Baronets, 
Knights, and Esquires. The title of Baronet, the 
highest of the three, is inherited onl}^ by male 
descendants; that of Knight is not hereditary. 
Both the Baronet and the Knight have the word 
Sir (their wives Lady) before their Christian name, 
e. g., Sir Edward Malet, Bart. (i. e. Baronet), or. 
Sir Charles Dilke (who is only a Knight, and 
therefore has no right to the addition of "Bart." 
in the address). To leave out the Christian name 
would be quite un-English, but the family name 
may be omitted for the sake of shortness, e. g., 
Sir Edward, Sir Charles. The title of "Sir" does not 
apply to the ordinary Esquires, who comprise the 
landed Gentry (or county famihes and country 
gentlemen), and most of the learned professions. 

The Nobility and most of the Gentry bear 
arms (i. e. have a crest and a coat of arms). 

Callings. 

Not every one can be a prince or a nobleman; 
and not every one is born a millionaire. The 
vast majority have to follow a certain calling, 
occupation, or employment, in order to make their 
living. There are brain-workers of various kinds 
(lawyers, teachers, &c.), manufacturers and mer- 
chants, mechanics (requiring technical knowledge), 

English addressed in the same manner; a "PYcihcrr v. B." is 
called "Baron (v.) B."; a "Graf v. B." is called "Count (v.) B." 
(not "Earl"); a "Fiirst (v.) B." is called "Prince (v.) B.", and 
has the rank of an English Marquess. 



XT. English Society. The Various Callings. Q j. 

and factory-hands (or workmen in factories, mills, 
&€.). And then, in the various institutions, there 
are numbers of offici^ds, high and low. Lastly there 
are the "submerged tenth", i. e. the destitute and 
criminal class (beggars, tramps, "gaol-birds", &c.). 

Among this large number of callings, several 
may be classed under two special heads: they 
are either "professions" or "trades". 

The learned professions include (wo)men who 
have gone in for a regular training to fit them 
for their special work. Clergymen (ranks from 
below: curates, vicars, rectors, canons, deans, 
bishops, archbishops), lawyers (solicitors, barristers, 
judges), medical men (physicians, surgeons, den- 
tists, (pharmaceutical) chemists, school-masters and 
professors, civil engineers and architects, artist(e)s 
and actors — all these are "professional men". 
Officers in the Army or Navy belong to the "pro- 
fession of arms". Those who, from a humble origin, 
have made their mark and "their pile" (i. e. acquired 
a large fortune) in a profession or in trade, in 
spite of the fact that the}' have not gone through 
a regular course of preparation, are called "self- 
made men". 

The trades include all industrial, mecha7tical, 
and commercial occupations. The various branches 
of industry are carried on in (manu)factories, mills, 
and similar establishments. The Diamifacturer as 
a rule has machines to do the greater part of the 
work. These machines are set in motion either 
by steam, electricity, gas, wind, or water. Workmen 



86 XI. English Society. The Various Callings. 

(or Hands) attend to the machines. There arc 
cloth-manufactories, cotton-mills, silk-mills, paper- 
mills , oil-mills , saw-mills , boot-factories , sugar- 
factories, soap-works, iron-works, cycle-factories, 
gas-works, electrical works, dye-works, &c. The 
manufacturer pays his hands their wages every week. 
Mechanics (or Artisans) make various articles in 
workshops. They use tools for their work; some 
work is done by machinery. Their employes are 
journeymen and apprentices. Many mechanics 
have their own shop, and sell their articles 
to their customers (see page 8); others have no 
workshop of their own, but go to work elsewhere. 
Tradesmen engaging in the various branches of 
manual work are, e. g. : the tailor, who makes our 
clothes; the goldsmith, who manufactures vessels 
and ornaments of gold, silver, &c. The blacksmith 
works in iron, which is heated in a forge, and 
wrought (or hammered) on the anvil by means of a 
hammer ("You must strike the iron while it's hot", 
says an old proverb) ; the farrier shoes horses ; the 
locksmith makes locks and keys; the carpenter 
works in timber, and puts together roofs, floors, 
&c.; the joiner supplies stairs, doors, shutters, cup- 
boards; the tvheekvright makes carts, waggons, 
&c.; the glazier puts in (window-)panes, fixing 
them with putty; the bricklayer \ym\As\\A\S\hx\Qks,\ 
the mason builds with stone, or prepares it for 
building purposes; i\\e painter paints buildings and 
floors with paint; the chimney-siveep sweeps the 
chimney; the paper-hanger papers the walls with 



XI. English Society. The Various Callings. 8? 

wall-paper; the //i'.^^^/i^^/' works in lead; the tinker 
mends kettles, pans, &c.; the cobbler mends boots 
and shoes (Proverb: "The cobbler must stick to 
his last"); the bookbinder binds the books which 
have been set up by the type-setter (or compositor) , 
and printed by the pnnter. 

Publishers, who publish and sell books whole- 
sale to booksellers, bankers, who traffic (or deal) in 
money, and take care of deposits entrusted to their 
bank for safe-keeping, agents, who do commercial 
business for others, and many besides who 
eng-age in business of any kind, are also said 
to be "in trade". 

There are a considerable number of occupations 
which cannot be assigned to one of the above groups, 
e. g., the officials of Government departments, 
corporations, limited companies, &c., such as 
custom-house officers, secretaries, city-clerks, post- 
office clerks, railway-servants, policemen, domestic 
servants, coachmen, waiters, and several others. 



From time to time, (international) exhibitions 
are held from which industr}^ and commerce as 
a rule derive great benefit. 

When a class of working people in some par- 
ticular trade are not satisfied with their earnings, 
they (go out on) strike (i. e. quit work in a body) in 
order to get higher wages. Those who decline to join 
in a strike are called "blacklegs". As a rule, the 
strikers after some time take their work up again, 
very often on the old conditions. 



QQ XII. Elementary Aritlimetic. 

XII. 
Elementary Arithmetic. 

After learning to read and write down the 
fig^ures (nought, one, two, . . . nine) and numbers, we 
were taught the "four elementary (or first) rules", 
which are addition, subtraction, multiplication, and 
division. Afterwards we also learnt fractions. 

Addition. -— This is the rule (or method) by 
which the sum of two or more given numbers 
may be obtained. One and (or plus) two are three; 
2 -+- 3 are 5; 3 -*- 4 are 7, and so on. 

Example: Add together 471, 54, 39. 



Process: 471 

54 
39 



g and 4 are 13, and i arc 14; put 
down 4 and cany i ; i •+- 3 are 4. 
-+- 5 are 9, -+- 7 are 16; put down 
6 and carry i ; i -»- nought (or nothing) 
Total (or Sum): 564 are I, and 4 are 5; put down 5. 

The answer (or sum. or total) is 564. 

Subtraction is the rule by which the differ- 
ence between two given numbers may be 
obtained. 

Example: Subtract 4873 from 8309. 

3 h-om 9, (leaves) 6; 7 from nought 
T (or you) cannot; I borrow 10; 7 
from 10, 3, and carry one; 9 from 3 
I cannot; I borrow 10; 9 from 13, 4, 
and carry one; 5 from 8, 3. 



Process: 8309 
4873 



Remainder: 3436 

The remainder is 3436. 

Multiplication (for which a knowledge of the 
"Multiplication Table" is necessary) is an abbre- 
viated addition, and consists in finding the sum 



56 

1404 
1 170 



XII. Elementary Arithraetic. gg 

(here called product) of a series of repetitions of 
a given number. 

Example: Multiply 234 by 56. 

Process: 234 

6 times (or 6 multiplied by) 4 (or six 
fours) are 24; put down 4, carry 2; 
6X3 = 18, and 2 are 20; put down 
o (nought), carry 2, and so on. 

Product: 13104 

234 and 56 are said to h^ factors of 13 104. 

Division is the rule for finding- the qtwtieiit 

(and rewainder, if there be any), when one given 

number (the dividend) is to be divided by another 

(the divisor). 

The English distinguish hetween Long Division 
(when the operations are mostly written down), and 
Short Division (when the operations are mentally 
performed and only the results written down). 
a) Example for Long Division : 

15 into 13 I cannot; 15 into 
138 goes 9 times; g times 15 
are 135; 135 from 138 leaves 
3 ; I bring down 7 ; 15 into 
37 goes twice; 2X15 (read: 
twice 15) are 30; 30 from 
37 leaves 7. 



15 

divisor 



) :^r ( 



92 

quotient 



37 
30 

7 



ider 



Answer: 92, and 7 remainder, or 92^. 
b) Example for Short Division : 

8 I 4979 

622 „ 3 over, or 62 2y. 

Fractions. — A fraction contains one or more 
equal parts of a unit. There are vulgar fractions 



_ XIII. Money. Weights. Measures. 

(e. g. -i, three fourths), and decimal fractions 

(e. g. -75 or 075, read: nought decimal, or point, 

seven five). The numerator of vulgar fractions 

is placed above the line, and the denominator 

below (or underneath). In decim^il fractions the 

denominator is 10 or some power of 10. Mixed 

numbers consist of a whole number and a fraction, 

such as 2}, or 2.75. 
4 



XIII. 

Money. Weights. Measures. 

The decimal system, upon which all European 
and several other nations have bcised their money, 
weights, and measures, has not been adopted as 
yet in Great Britain and Ireland, much to the incon- 
venience of international commerce and traffic. 

Money. 

In the United Kingdom, there are gold, silver, 
and copper (or bronze) coins issued only by the 
Royal Mint. There are also bank-notes (i. e. 
paper money) in circulation. 

The current gold coins are: one sovereign^ 
or pound (sterling''), and one half-sovereign or 
half-a-sovereign. A sovereign is equivalent to 
20 shillings. The amount of fees or subscriptions 



1 The sovereign (colloquially sov) is so called because it bears 
the head of the reigning Sovereign stamped on it. 

2 Sterling, so called after a sign in the shape of a star on the 
back of the oldest silver pennies first coined in the i i th century. 



XIII. Money. q t 

is frequently named in guineas'^. In writing, the 
word sovereign or pound is shortened £ (from 
the Latin libra), and always put he/ore the figure 
indicating the amount, e. g.: Z" 2 (to be read: two 
pounds), £ 1 \os. i\d. (read: two pound ten and 
four pence). 

The current silver coins are: one sJiilling, 
■2 shillings (or a florin), half-a-crown (or a half- 
crown, or two-and-six, worth 2-^ shillings), 4 shil- 
lings, a crown (worth 5 s), a sixpence (worth half- 
a-shilling), a threepenny-piece (or -bit) (four of 
them go to a shilling). The half-crown and the 
florin (or two-shilHng piece) are frequently mistaken 
by foreigners. Silver need not be accepted for 
sums over two pounds. — In writing and accounts, 
the word shilling is shortened j-. or /, i. e. a longy^ 
(from the Tatin solidus), e. g.: 4 s. or 4/. 

The copper coins are: o?ie penny (there are 
12 pence to one shilling), one halfpenny (but 
three-halfpence), and a farthing (4 farthings are 
I penny; farthings are rarely met with, except 
among the lower classes). Copper coins (colloquially: 
coppers) need only be accepted for sums up to 
one shilling. Beyond this amount they may be 
refused. — In bills, the word penny is abbreviated 
d. (from the Latin denarius). 

Who can't keep a penny. 
Wilt nec'er Iiave manv. 



I The guinea, in circulation from 1003 to 1817, was first 
struck out of gold brought from the Guinea Coast, hence the name. 
Its nominal value is i\s. 



Q2 XIII. Money. 

Bank-notes are chiefly issued by the Bank of 
England. The lowest bank-note is the five-pound 
note {£ 5). There are notes for sums up to £ 1000. 

In North America the current coin is the dollar 
(written $^), which is worth about \ s. ^ d. It is 
divided into 100 cents (worth ~d. each). 

Foreign mojiey is refused in English shops and 
restaurants. In order to get (or procure) English 
coin, I go to a respectable money-changer, and 
say to him: "I should like (or I want) to change 
some . . . money for English; what is the present 
rate of exchange?" It is immaterial whether Eng- 
lish money is procured at home or in England. 
Letters of credit or cheques upon a well-known 
London banking firm are another convenient way 
of obtaining English mone3^ 

No credit is given to strangers in London 
shops. Every article boug-ht has to be paid for 
in cash (or in ready money). 

People of small means are sometimes in a fix 
(or short of money), and then try to help them- 
selves by borrowing a certain sum from a good 
friend; or they go to a pawn (broker's) shop, and 
pawn their watch and chain, rings, &c. Very often 
the truth of the proverb "Money lent is money 
spent" is experienced by too kind-hearted friends. 
At any rate an /. O. U. (to be read : / owe you, 
i. e. a written acknowledgment of debt) should 
be given by the borrower to the lender. 

I The symbol $ probably represents the first two letters of 
St-indard (coin). 



XIII. Weighte. Q2 

Money governs the world. Money makes the 
mare go. Time is money. 

Weights. 

Many goods are bought and sold by weight, 
e. g. bread, meat, salt, sugar, &c. They are weighed 
by means of a balance or (a pair of) scales. ^ The 
English weights are very numerous, but for 
ordinary purposes only the following are used: 

I oz. (one ounce, equivalent to 28-35 grammes); 

I lb. (one pound = 16 C2r. = 453-6 o'.^ consequently 
less than the metrical pound or i kilogramme); 

I cwt. ( I hundredweight = 1 1 2 English lbs. = s^o-8 MosJ ; 

1 T. (one ton = 20 cwts. = 2240 lbs. = 1016 kg.). 

As a rule, the weight of a person is indicated 
(on automatic balances) by sto7ie and pounds. 
I st. (one stone) = 14 lbs. = 6-35 kg. "What weight 
are you? 11 stone 10", i. e. 74-4 kilogrammes.^ 

In the United States of America fU. S. A.J., the 
English weights are still in use, but on the Conti- 
nent the metrical system of weights is adopted. The 
conversion of metrical weights into their English 
equivalents may be easily performed (or effected) 
from the above figures, i kg. for instance is 

equivalent to lds. = 2-20a6 lbs. (English). 

453-6 

' For ascertaining the weight of a letter, a letter-balance is 
used; for weighing gold there is a very delicate gold-balance. 

2 The above weight is called Avoirdupois Weight. Gold- 
smiths and jewellers use the so-called Troy Weight, which is 
nearly the same as the now obsolete Apothecaries' Weight, viz., 
I oz. Troy and Apothecaries' = 31 grammes (more than the 
ordinary ounce), i lb. Troy and Apothecaries' = 12 oz. = 373-24^. 
(less than the ordinary lb.). 

Kron, The Little Londoner. 8. 7 



Q^ XIII. Measures. 

Measures. 

The British Measures are exceedingly numer- 
ous owing to a great variet)^ of older ones still 
in occasional use. 

The most important Measures of LengtJi are: 

I in. (one inch = 2-54 centimetres); 

I //. (one foot= 12 inches ^3048 cm)\ 

I yd. (one yard = 3 feet = 91-44 cm.); 

I fth. (one fathom = 6 feet = 2 yards) ; 

I mile (one statute mile or British mile =1760 
yards = 1609-3 metres); 

I geographical (or sea, or nautical) mile = 1855 
metres, i. e. the same length as in other comatries. i Ad- 
miralty knot has about the same length, viz., 1853 metres. 

The principal Square (or Stiperficial, Surface, 

Land) Pleasures are: 

I square inch (==6-45 square cm.); 
I square foot (= 144 square inches = 924 sq. cm.); 
I square yard (=9 sq. feet =8361 sq. cm.); 
I acre (of land) (=40-5 ares); 

I square mile {= 640 acres = 259 hectares = 
2-59 sq. kilometres). 

The Cubic (or Solid) Measures of frequent 

occurrence are: 

I cubic inch (= 16-4 cubic centimetres); 

I cubic foot (= 1728 cubic inches); 

I register ton (:= 100 cubic feet^ 2 -8 3 cubic metres). 

The Liquid Measures mostly met with are: 

I pint (0-568 litres); i quart {= 2 pints = 1-136 1.)' 
I gallon (= 4 quarts = 4-543 1.). 

Wine is bought or sold in casks, by the pipe 

(from 92 to 115 gallons) or hogshead (46—57 

gallons). In some London restaurants "wine from 

the wood" (i. e. from the cask) may be obtained. 



XIV. Time. qk 

Ale and beer are sold by the firkin (9 gallons 
= 4c litres), kilderkin (2 firkins), barrel (4 firkins), 
&c. All public houses sell "beer or draught" 
(i. e. from the cask). 

The measures used in the U. S. A. are as yet 
mainly the same as the British ones. 

The standard unit used in stating the power 
of gas and steam-engines for doing work is 
the so-called indicated horse-power (abbreviated: 
/ H. P.), i. e. the power that must be exerted in 
lifting 75 kg. at the rate of i metre per second 
(or, in British scientific parlance, 550 lbs. at the 
rate of i foot per second). There are engines of 
2, 3, 10, and even 15000 horse-power(s). 

The international unit of electrical pressure or 
electromotive force is called a volt. 

XIV. 
Time. 

According to the Christian era (reckoning from 
the birth of Christ) we are living in the 20th 
century. The 19th century closed on December 
31st 1900, at 12 midnight, and on January ist 
I go I we entered upon the 20th century. A 
century is made up of a hundred years, A year 
contains 12 months, or 52 weeks and a day, or 
365 days, and nearly 6 hours. A leap-year, 
however, (which occurs once in four years, with 
the exception of such secular years as are not 
divisible by 400), has 366 days; the extra day is 
added to February. The name and length of 

7* 



q6 XIV. Time. 

each month may be easily remembered from the 
following doggerel. 

Thirty days have September, 

April, June, and November; 

To January add another day, 

Also to August, March, and May, 

July, October, and December. 

All these have thirty-one, remember! — 

To February twenty-eight assign, 

And in Leap Year twenty-nine. 

A week contains 7 days (6 working or week 
days, and the Lord's Day); their names are: 
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, 
Saturday (the Jewish Siibbath), and Sunday. A 
day has 24 hours, an hour 60 minutes, a minute 
60 seconds. Every day is reckoned from 12 to 12 
midnight, and comprises the night (before sunrise), 
the morning (or forenoon), noon (or midday), the 
afternoon, and the evening (after sunset). During 
the night it is more or less dark; when it is very 
dark, we use the term "pitch-dark" (i. e. dark as 
pitch). Sometimes the 7noon shines, and spreads 
her pale (moon)light. In the day-time it is light, 
and often the stm shines brightly. There are 
in every year several (total or partial) eclipses 
of the sun and of the moon. A total solar 
eclipse visible in Europe is of rare occurrence. 

Time is specified in many ways, e. g. by 
counting (or stating) the year(s) before Christ 
(B.C.^) or after Christ (A. D.S i. e. Anno Domini) 



^ B. C. and A. D. are only used in speaking nf historical 
events. 



XIV. Time. q»» 

— by reckoning from the period in which 
some great man lived, e. g-. in .Shakespeare's 
time, in the Elizabethan Age, in the reign of 
King George the First, in the Victorian Era, — 
or by specifying the exact date or hour at which 
such and such an event took place. 

Date. — If I want to know a certain date, e. g. 
the day of the month, I refer to (or consult) an 
ahiianack, i. e. a small book or card containing a 
calendar of days, weeks, and months, with the 
times of the rising and setting of the sun and 
moon, changes of the moon, eclipses, &c., &c. 
There are also pocket-almanacks , and block-alma- 
nacks or block-calendars composed of a block of 
365 or 366 leaves with quotations from well-known 
authors (as Shakespeare), or from the Bible. One 
leaf is pulled off each day. In case I have no alma- 
nack at hand, I ask some one that happens to be near: 

What is the day of the month? or What is 
the (or to-day's) date? 

The answer may be: 

It's the ist, 2nd, jrd, ^th, . . . jist (of) March. 

To the question: When will you be back (or 
will you leave, &c.J? the reply runs as follows: 

/ shall be back (or / shall leave) on the ist, 
2nd, jrd, 4th, . . . 2 1st (of) fanuary, &€. 

When is your birthday? 

On the 2gth (of fuly (fuly 2g, fuly 2gth). 

Hour of the Day. — To indicate the exact 
time, a time-piece is a useful contrivance. Up to 
the Middle Ages, only sun-dials and hour-glasses 



g8 XIV. Time. 

were known. Nowadays we have watches and 
clocks of every kind. 

Watches are instruments usually carried in the 
waistcoat pocket (the watch-pocket). They are 
made of gold, silver, nickel, steel, gun-metal, or 
aluminium. I always carry a keyless Geneva (a 
cylinder) watch; my father has a very fine gold 
lever. There are also repeaters, which strike the 
hours and half-hours, and even the quarters. 

Formerly a key was used in winding up and 
setting a watch; at present, keyless watches are 
the rule. For winding them up or moving the 
hands, we do not require a key, but manage it 
b}' means of a screw-like contrivance in the ring. 

On the dial(-plate) or clock-face — under the 
glass — are Roman or Arabic figures, a .short 
(or an hour-)hand, a long (or minute-)hand, and 
a second-hand. In the case are the works (or 
wheels), and the spring. My watch keeps time 
very well, and only stops when I ha\'e forgotten 
to wind it up. It is neither fast nor slow (or It 
neither gains nor loses). When my watch is out 
of order, I send (or take) it to a watchmaker who 
will repair it. 

Clocks generally have a bell or chimes to 
sound the hours, half-hours, and quarters; their 
movement is regulated by a pendulum. When the 
clock is slow, we shorten the pendulum; if it is 
fast, we lengthen it. There are dining-room clocks, 
drawing-room clocks, old-fashioned grandfather's 
clocks, church-clocks, railway-clocks, and alarum 



XIV. Time. qq 

clocks (for the bed-room). Our church-clock 
always goes wrong; there is no relying upon it at 
all; it badly wants seeing to by a clockmaker. 

In case I have no watch about me, and want 
to know the time, I ask any one near, making 
use of one of the following' expressions: 

What time is it (, -please)? What is the time? — 
What o'clock is it?— What (o'clock) is it by your 
watch? — What time do yott make it? — What time 
do you think it is? — To a stranger: Can you tell 
me the time, please? — Could you oblige me with 
the time. Sir? 

The replies are various; for instance: 

By my watcli, it is (jiisi) one, tivo, three, . . . tivelve 
(o'clock); it is one, two, ;,-, lo minutes past (one); it is 
a quarter past (one), half past (one); it is 25, 20, 10, 
5 minutes to (tzvo); it is a quarter to (two); it is tioon 
(or midday), midnight. 

Within the first half-hour we add the minutes to 
the past hour by saying: . . . mimites past . . . ; 
within the second half, we state the number of 
minutes it wants to the next hour by saying: . . . 
minutes to . . . Railway officials (or servants) and 
travellers usually say: The train leaves at one 
thirty (in ordinary language: half past one), at 
1. 1 5 (one fifteen), 1-50 (one fifty), &c. If there is 
any doubt about the forenoon or afternoon, the 
terms a. in. (Latin: ante meridiem, i. e. in the fore- 
noon) or p. m. (post meridiem, in the afternoon) 
are added, e. g.: My train arrives at 517 a. m. 



lOO ^^^ '^'•"«- 



Instead of giving the exact number of 
minutes, we indicate time generally by expressing 
in various ways that it is somewhere near the 
hour, half-hour, or quarter; e. g.: 

// is about 7, nearly y, gettitig (or going) on for y, very 
near (or close upon) y, about to strike y, on the stroke of 
y, striking y, past y, not yet 8, not quite 8, 8 at the outside, 
8 at (the) latest. It (still) 7vants 5 jninutes to 8. I hear it 
striking 8. It has (just) struck 8. I declare (or Well really), 
it is striking 8. The quarter (half-hour, hour) is striking. 

Wheji will (or shall) you come and call on me? 
At 8; at 8 o'clock sharp, or punctually at 8 ; about 8; 
toivards 8 ; s/iortly after 8 ; a feiv minutes after 8. 

How long did you work last night? Froin 5 to 8. 

Proverbial phrases: Procrastination is the thiej 
of time. — Time and tide wait for no 7nan. — His 
time is come. — Take titne by the forelock. — A 
stitch in time saves nine. — Time is money. 



The hour of the day is not, at a given time, 
the same in different countries and places. Thus 
only those places that lie under the same meridian 
have 12 noon at the very same moment. Every 
degree East is 4 minutes earlier, and every degree 
West 4 minutes later. But in most countries a 
normal (or mean) time has been introduced. Thus 
all well-regulated watches and clocks in England, 
Scotland, and Ireland show Greenwich Mean Ti?ne 
(the Royal Observatory is at (jreenwich). In 
Germany the so-called European Mean Time 
(M. E. Z.) was introduced in 1893; this is the time 
of the longitude of Goerlitz-Stargard. French 



XV. Seasons and Weather. T O I 

Mean Twie is based upon the meridian of Paris 
Observatory. When it is 12 o'clock noon Green- 
wich Time, the French clocks show 12.9 p. m., 
the German ones i o'clock, the Russian ones 2.1 
p. m.; at New York the time then is 7.4 a. m., at 
Melbourne 9.40 p. m., and at Sydney 10.5 p. m. 

XV. 
Seasons and W^eather. 

There are four seasons, spring, summer, 
autumn, and winter, each of which lasts about 
three months. The pleasantest season in Europe 
is the spring, from March to (or till) June. In May 
the weather is finest, and all nature is loveliest. 
The trees put forth little buds and new leaves; 
the meadows and fields grow green again; the 
flowers begin to bloom. The farmer tills the 
soil, and sows the seed. The nightingale, swallow, 
cuckoo, and other migratory birds come back 
to us from Italy or Africa, build their nests, lay 
and hatch their eggs, rear their young ones, all 
the while singing- their merry songs. Meanwhile 
the new crop is shooting (up), and if there are 
no sharp frosts during the night, nature looks full 
of promise, and the corn-fields are made bright 
by blue corn-flowers and red poppies. 

By the end of June, the weather becomes (or 
gets) considerably warmer: (the) summer has come 
(or arrived). Sometimes it is very close, and the 
heat almost unbearable; then a thunderstorm 



J p.^ XV. Seasons and Weather. 

usually brings relief. Dark clouds gather in the 
sky; it lightens and thunders, and the rain falls 
shortly after. A heavy downpour or a hailstorm 
makes the air cool down very quickly. Beware 
of seekinsf shelter under a tree in a thunderstorm. 
You run the risk of being struck by (the) light- 
ning when standing under trees. Relative safety 
is only afforded b}' Franklin's lightning-conductor 
(invented in the year 1752). 

When the heat is too oppressive, and I can 
no longer bear it, I go and bathe in running- 
water (familiarl}^: I have a bathe), or in a bathing 
establishment or tub (I have a bath). I have 
learnt to swim (or learnt swimming), and am a fair 
swimmer. Sometimes I dive, and swim a long way 
under water; more than once I have fetched a 
small silver coin from the bottom of the water. 

The hot sun ripens the corn and fruit, and 
the peasant gets everything ready for the harvest. 
Cherries, apricots, peaches, strawberries, rasp- 
berries, gooseberries, currants, blackberries, and 
bilberries are getting ripe, and afford a treat 
for old and young. In summer, the sun rises 
very early, and sets (or goes down) late in the 
evening-. 

In September, summer bids us farewell, and 
yields to autumn. The days gradually become^ 
shorter, and the nights longer. The weather is 
cooler than in summer, and by and by the leaves 
change colour, and fall off. Apples, greengages, 
plums, pears, and walnuts are now ripe, and may 



XV. Seasons and Weather. t c-n 

be picked. The grapes are getting ripe also, and 
in wine-producing countries the glorious vintage 
begins in October; the vintagers then go out into 
their vineyards to cut the grapes off the vine.^ 
The farmer gathers in the fruits of the earth. 
Most birds no longer sing, but go (or fly) away 
to warmer countries; only the sparrow, finch, 
blackbird, thrush, robin(-redbreast), and a few others 
remain with us. — In this season, the sportsman 
gets his gun ready, and goes out shooting. — 
In the U.S.A. the autumn is called (the) fall, and 
is the pleasantest season of the whole year. 

November is the month of fogs. A London 
/og—''diS. thick as pea-soup", or even at times 
quite black — is a thing to be remembered. When 
it comes on of a sudden, the street-lamps must 
be lighted, but their light seems more lilce a cigar 
burning in the dark. Fog'-signals are frequently 
heard on the Thames and railways, and the trains 
are late. Indeed, the traffic is hopelessly disorganised. 

When autumn is over (or past), v/inter sets 
in. This is the season of snow-storms and of ice. 
When rivers and ponds are frozen, people go out 
skating on the ice (see also page 121). I for my 
part am exceedingly fond of skating. I have a 
fine pair of skates. Those who cannot skate 
amuse themselves by making slides on the ice. 

I The vine does not grow in England, except(ing) in hot- 
houses. The late Lord Bute, however, planted vines with 
success in the open air, near Cardiff in South Wales, and the 
wine produced tlierefroni (or from them) has fetched (or brought) 
a good price in the market. 



J Q^ XV. Seasons and Weather. 

During the winter there is plenty of snow. 
When it snows hard (or in great flakes), and the 
snow does not melt, the roads are fit for riding 
(or driving) in a sledge drawn by horses (or 
simply: the roads are fit for sledging). In snowy 
weather, tobogganing (i. e. sliding down hill on 
a toboggan or small kind of sledge) is a favourite 
pastime of children. They also make snow-men, 
and build snow-huts, play at snow-balling, pelting 
one another with snow-balls (i. e. throwing them 
at one another). Last winter was particularly hard 
(or severe); fancy, our coachman John had a frost- 
bitten nose, and chilblains. In winter we keep 
up a good fire, and put on warm woollen clothes. 
On the whole, winter is a dull time, and if there 
were no interesting books, or evening- parties, 
theatres, or concerts, most people would almost 
be bored to death. 

In England there is a fifth "season", which is 
the finest of all from a social point of view. 
This is the London Season (May, June, and July), 
when the "upper ten (thousand)", i. e. the noble 
and wealthy families, are (staying) in town (i. e. 
Tondon). By this time of the year, the theatres 
and music-halls are in full swing; the best artistes 
(actors, actresses, musicians, opera-singers, concert- 
singers, and dancers) are performing tliere. The 
Royal Academy of Fine Arts holds its hig'hly 
interesting exhibition — a counterpart to the 
Paris Salon — of the latest pictures (oil-paintings, 
water-colours) and sculpture by hving British 



XV. Seasons and Weather. 1 ^ 

artists (painters and sculptors). Garden-parties 
and picnics are very popular, and so are river- 
trips, or an outing on a four-horse coach (a "four- 
in-hand"). The principal horse-races (see page 123), 
cricket-matches, and bicycle-races take place, 
Parliament is sitting, &c. In short, during the 
"London Season" all that is to be seen of London 
beauty, wealth, and splendour, is on show. 

After the "London Season" comes the "silly 
season" with the "dog-days" (July 22— August 23), 
and the aristocracy and well-to-do people leave for 
the seaside or abroad (the Continent, Egypt, &c.). 

Of seaside trips, that to Brighton is most in 
public favour. Also Hastings, Eastbourne, Bourne- 
mouth, Torquay, Penza7ice (all on the South coast), 
Ramsgate, Broadstairs, and Margate (these three 
lying on the East coast) are popular seaside 
places. (Margate is the Cockney watering place 
par excellence). The Isle of Wight, though at a 
considerable distance from London (to be reached 
by rail and steamer in 3 or 4 hours), is a very 
pleasant and fashionable place for a few days 
outing (Cowes, Ryde, Ventnor, Sandown, and 
Shank tin are in particular favour). Ilfracombe (on 
the Bristol Channel), Llandudno, Blackpool, More- 
cambe (these three on the Irish Sea), Cromer (in 
Norfolk), Whitby, Scarborough, Filey, Bridlington 
(on the bracing [or strengthening] Yorkshire coast), 
and Rothesay (in the Isle of Bute, Scotland) are fa- 
vourite holiday and health resorts. Excursion tick- 
ets are issued from London to most of these places. 



/: XV. Seasons and Weather. 

The mean temperature — and thus also, to a 
certain extent, the weather — of the four seasons 
depends on the climate. The British Isles being 
surrounded by the ocean, and, on the Western 
coast, washed by the warm Gulf Stream, have a 
more equable climate than Central Europe. The 
winters are not so cold, and the summers not so 
hot. The insular climate is, of course, also moister 
than that of inland countries. On an average, 
rain falls in London on 182 days in the year. 

The variations of temperature are indicated 
by the thermometer, a graduated glass tube con- 
taining mercury (or alcohol) which expands under 
the influence of heat, and contracts under that 
of cold. In England, Fahrenheit's thermometer 
is used. The barometer indicates the changes in 
the weather; it rises for fine weather, and falls 
for rain and storms. — Most of the large news- 
papers give weather forecasts for the day, some 
also a weather chart. 

The English are very fond of speaking about 
the weather. "Nice day. Sir", "Dull morning, 
isn't it?", and similar phrases are the usual remarks 
with which a shopkeeper receives his customers. 
It should be noted that the English avoid using 
the word "weather", except in certain fixed phrases; 
they prefer the words "day", "morning", or "night". 

Weather Talk. 
/. What do you think of the weather? 

It seems a fine day, a dull day, a rainy, wet, warm, 
hot, cold day. 



XV. Seasons and Weather. I07 

/ expect (or trust) ive shall have a fine day, a 
warm day, &c., &c. 

/ tliiuk it will continue fine ; ... it will clear up by 
and by; ... it will turn (to) wet; ... it will turn out 
a wet day; ... it won't keep fine; ... we shall have 
snow, frost, rain, a thaw, a thunderstorm, &c. 

// looks like rain, snow, &c.; it looks rather dull, &c. 

// is going to rain, freeze, thaw, snow, &c. 

We are mins to have some more rain, &c, 

2. I ivonder what the weather is going to be. 

Replies like those under i. 
J. What is the weatJier like (to-day)? How is the 
weather? What sort of weather is it? 

It is wonderful, (very) fine, nice, lovely, warm, hot, 
close, stuffy, dusty, cold, clear, wet, rainy, muggy, vile, 
nasty, cloudy, overcast, dull, hazy, foggy, dirty, wretched, 
windy, unsettled; a sultry, scorching, dull, gloomy day; 
brilliant, charming weather, &c. 

// is freezing; it has frozen; it's snowing, rainiiig, 
raining fast; it's raining cats and dogs (i. e. heavily); 
it's nice weather for ducks; it is pouring, drizzling, 
lightening, thundering, hailing, getting worse; it is im- 
proving (or clearing up, getting fine). 

We are having a severe thunderstorm, a severe 
frost, a black frost, white (or hoar) frost, slippery frost, 
a nice gentle rain, a steady rain, a shower, a downpour. 

^. Has it stopped (or left off, ceased) raining 

(snowing, freezing), &c.? 

No, it is still raining a little; the rain is still falling 
(or coming down) in torrents; it keeps on snowing in 
great flakes; it continues freezing as hard as it can. 

5. Does it rain (or Is it raining just now), &c.? 

Yes, it does (it is). No, it doesn't (it isn't). 



jqO XVI. Red Letter Days. 

6. Where is the wind from? From what quarter 
is the wind? 

It is in (or blowing from) the North (South, East, 
West, South- West, &c.). The wind has changed; it 
has abated; it was a regular gale (or it was blowing 
a full gale), a hurricane. Proverbial saying: 

When the wind comes from the East, 

It is bad for man and beast. 

7. General phrases and exclamations : 

What a lovely (or glorious) day (night)! — What 
wretched (or abominable, awful, beastly, frightful) 
weather we are having! — What a tremendous clap of 
thunder! — What a flash of lightning! — What a flood 
of rain! — I am wet through. — How dark it is getting! 

— How bitterly cold it is! — What heat (or cold)! The 
heat is killing me. There is hardly a breath of air; 
no leaf is stirring. I can't work in this dreadful heat. 
I am perspiring. — Look at the lovely rainbow! 

Sayings : // never rains but it pours (i. e. Misfortunes 
seldom come alone). — April showers brmg May flowers. 

— After rain comes sunshine. — Rain, rain, go away; 
Come back anotlier day ! 

XVI. 
Red Letter Days. . 

Birthday. - Everybody on his birthday (i. e. 
the anniversary of his birth) receives the con- 
gratulations (or good wishes) of his friends and 
relations at having completed another year. The 
set form of congratulating a friend upon his birth- 
day is this: (I wish you) Many hapfy returns of 
the day. The reply is: Thank you. In England 
the birthday is very seldom celebrated by a grand 
feast, but birthday presents are very much the rule. 



XVI. Red Letter Days. jqq 

Age. — My birthday is on July 29. I was 
born in 1889, ^^^ ^^^^ ^® ^^ "®^^ birthday (in a 
fortnight, in 6 weeks). In order to (get to) know 
any one's age, I may ask, when speaking /<? a 
person : 

/-/ow old are yoji? What is your age? 

When speaking of a person, I may say: 

How old is your father? — How old (or What 
age) do you take (or suppose) him (her) to be? — 
How old do you think (or suppose) he (she) is? 
- - Hotv many years zvould you give him (her) ? 

The answer may be: 

/ am fifteen (or fifteen years old, fiftee?i years of age). 
I am turned 16 (or / ain over 16). I am nearly 77. / have 
just completed my lylh year. I am under age yet. In 
4 years' time 1 shall come of age. I am still in my teens 
(i. e. in the years ending in teen, viz., thirteen to nineteen). 

Mv elder brother is 8 years older than I. He is 
Old of his teens. He is in fact entering (oti) his 25th 
year. (My) Father is turned 82 ; you would thi?ik he was 
25 years yonnger; he doesn't look his age (or doesn't 
appear so old) ; he carries his age wonderfully ivell. My 
dear mother was 66 when she died ; she has been dead 
these 14 years. 

Of all the numerous festivals (or holidays) 
which are indicated in the almanack, and rigidly 
kept in other (especially Roman Catholic) coun- 
tries, the English Sunday is kept far more strictly 
than any other day in the whole year: no letters 
(at least in London), no business (or work), no 
amusements, no playing at cards or on the piano 
— except sacred music (hymns). — The railways, 

Kron, The Little Londoner. 8. *• 



jjQ XVI. Red Letter Days. 

omnibuses and tramcars ply (or go) less frequently 
than on week-days. None of the daily papers 
appear; a few Sunday papers only are published. 
The theatres and music-halls are closed (or shut). 
A few museums and picture galleries of the 
Metropolis are opened in the afternoon, and this 
only since 1896. The London restaurants and 
public houses on Sundays only open from i to 2 
or 3, and from 6 to 1 1.30 p. m. Hence the streets 
are almost deserted, except at church-time (11 a. m. 
and 6.30 or 7 p. m.); for, most of the better-class 
English people go to church or chapel once, or 
even twice, on Sunday. Not all foreigners like 
such a quiet English Sunday, when even whistling 
in the streets is objected to. So Prince Bismarck, 
when whistling on first setting his foot on Eng- 
lish soil at Hull, was stopped by a passer-by who 
said to him: "No whisthng, Sir, if you please!" 
"No whistling? Why not?" was Bismarck's reply. 
"Because it is not seemly on a Sunday!" -The 
"Iron Chancellor" got into a temper, and left at 
once for Edinburgh. No one knows whether 
Bismarck achieved a greater whistling success in 
the orthodox Scotch capital. — All trade firms 
close their offices at about 2 p. m. on Saturday, 
in order to give their clerks and workmen a half- 
holiday. 

The average Briton does not observe the 
church holidays (or festivals) as strictly as other 
nations do. The Scotch even work on Christmas 
Day and Good Friday. 



XVI. Red Letter Days. Ill 

Christmas (shortened: Xmas) is a day of 
rejoicing- and merry-making. Christmas Eve 
(Dec. 24th) is not observed by any special festi- 
vities, but there is a custom amongst Enghsh 
children of hanging up their stockings at the foot 
of their bed on Xmas Eve, in expectation of 
finding them in the morning filled with toys and 
sweets. On Xmas night, the "waits" come and 
stand in front of the house, and sing or play 
"Christmas carols"; they expect a Christmas box 
(from a few pennies or coppers upwards) in return 
for their musical efforts. 

People as a rule do not give each other Xmas 
presents (or gifts). On Christmas morning, the 
usual salutation is: A merry Christmas to yoti, 
and the reply: The same to yore. 

To friends and acquaintances a Christmas 
card is sent bearing the inscription: 

A Merry Christmas and a Happy New- Year, 
or, With the Compliments of the Season, 
or. Wishing You a Merry Christmas and a Pros- 
perous (or Brig Jit) New Year, ^c. 
But the servants, the postman, milkman, and 
others joyfully look forward to their Xmas box (a 
few shillings) when they come and wish the master 
of the house and his family A Merry Christmas and 
a Happy New Year on the day following Xmas 
(Dec. 26th), which is thus known as "Boxing Day".^ 

I Boxing Day is one of the 4 Bank Holidays which, 
according to an Act of Parliament (passed in 1874), are to be 
kept every year; they are: Easter Monday, Whit-Monday, the 



I I 2 XVI. Red Letter Days. 

Besides the Christmas cards, there are other 
characteristic English features associated with 
"Father Christmas", viz., the Christmas pantomime 
(at Drury Lane), the Xmas dinner, and the mistletoe. 

Roast beef, turkey, mince pies, and plum- 
pudding (sometimes prepared a twelvemonth in 
advance) are the customary dishes of a genuine 
English Christmas dinner. Every English lady 
expects her guest to try her Christmas pudding. 

Christmas trees are very rarely seen in Eng- 
lish families; holly, ivy and other evergreens are 
used to decorate the churches, halls, and rooms. 
Moreover mistletoe twigs (or branches) are hung 
up there. Among the lower classes, young men 
who meet a girl "under the mistletoe" are 
allowed to kiss her. The Christmas festivities 
and tea-parties (at tea, Xmas cake is a favourite 
dainty) go on until 'I'welfth Night (January 6th). 

On New Year's Day there are services in most 
of the English churches and chapels. On New- 
Year's Eve (i. e. the last evening of the old year), 
most families stay up, to hear the old year rung- 
out (by the church-bells), and the new one in. A 
"watch-night service" takes place at church. In some 
houses a big log of wood is laid in the grate to keep 

first Monday in August, and December 26th. The Bank and 
offices are closed on these days. The August Bank Holiday is 
al.so called "St. Lubbock's Day" because the Act was due to the \ 
banker and scientific writer Sir John Lubbock, Bart., who was, 
for twenty years, ^L P. for I^ondon University; in igoo, he was 
raised to the peerage with the title of Baron (or Lord) Avebury. 



XVT. Rpd Letter Days. j j , 

the fire alight until the entrance of the New Year. 
As soon as the New Year comes in, people wish 
one another A Happy (or Prosperous) New Year. 
New Year's cards are sent to absent friends. 

On February 14th, St. Valentine' s Day, young 
people of the lower ranks of society send "Valen- 
tines" (anonymous cards or letters) to amuse or 
puzzle their friends. — Shrove Tuesday, formerly 
a day for shriving (or confessing sins), is now 
only observed by eating pancakes. Carnival 
amusements are foreign to the English; the 
Christmas entertainments make up for Carnival. 
.Shrove Tuesday is followed by Ash Wednesday, 
the first day of Lent, in which the Roman Catho- 
lics and some Anglicans fast on 40 week-days, 
until Easter. The first of April, or All Fools' Day, 
is observed by all sorts of practical jokes and 
tricks, as on the Continent. My friend Charley 
usually succeeds in making an April-fool of me. 
"Holy Week" (the week before Easter) begins with 
Palm Sunday. On Good Friday hot cross buns 
(marked with a cross) are eaten, and the working 

; classes indulge in all sorts of merry-making. — 
Kt Easter, presents are sometimes made of coloured 

; eggs, and Easter cards are sent to friends. Lamb 
and green peas are the principal dishes on the 
Easter dinner-table. Easter Monday is a Bank 
Holiday. Forty days after Easter follows Ascension 
Day, and ten days later, Whitsunday (or Whit- 
suntide). Whit-Monday is again a Bank Holiday. 
On May Day (ist of May) London coal-carmen 



I J A XVI. Red Letter Days. 

and others decorate their horses and whips; in the 
country, a girl for her kindly ways and good 
behaviour is chosen and crowned "May Queen" 
by the other girls. Dancing round the "May-pole" 
is another rustic amusement on May Day. 

In November there are two popular holidays, 
viz., on the 5th and the 9th. The 5th of November 
is Gtiy Fawkes' Day, in commemoration of Guy 
Fawkes' gunpowder-plot, the object of which was 
to blow up the Houses of Parliament (in 1605) 
by means of 36 barrels of gunpowder. The con- 
spiracy was discovered, and Fawkes put to death. 
In the evening, bonfires are lighted on high 
hills, and fireworks are let off in the streets. 
Please to remember the Fifth of November, Gun- 
powder, Treason, and Plot, are the first lines of 
a song heard in the streets on this day. 

The 9th of November is a double holiday, viz., 
the King's Birthday, and Lord Mayor's Day. The 
King's Birthday is not so generally celebrated as 
in most countries. The Lord Mayor of the City 
of London elected for the ensuing year is on this 
day introduced into his high office, and the emblems 
(or symbols) of his dignity are conferred on him. 
A splendid procession, the "Lord Mayor's Show" 
(moving from the Law Courts to the Guildhall), 
followed by a very luxurious dinner (or banquet) 
at the Guildhall, are the prominent features of 
this London holiday (see also page 151). The 
mayors of other cities and boroughs also enter 
upon their office on November 9th. 



XVII. Recreation. 1^5 

XVII. 

Recreation. 

The man who works hard, and does his duty, 
must needs have some recreation now and then. 
Some people like to be amused and entertained 
by others, without having to take any active part 
beyond listening or looking on. 

Others again, particularly brain-workers and 
those who lead (or live) a sedentary life, usually 
prefer to take bodily exercise, and therefore seek 
their recreation in some sport or pastime. 

Amusements and Entertainments. 

London cannot be said to be as well supplied 
with amusements as Paris or Berlin. During the 
"Season" and in winter the town is gay enough 
(see page 104 and 147). But when the fashionable 
world has left London, most theatres close for 
several months, and at the other places of amuse- 
ment the programme is reduced to its smallest 
dimensions. 

Those who are fond of pictures then pay a 
visit to the National Gallery, the Portrait Gallery, 
and the Tate Gallery. The rich collections at the 
British Museum, the Victoria and Albert Museum, 
and the Imperial Institute, also attract large 
numbers of visitors. Madame Tussaud's Wax- 
work Exhibition, a collection of wax figures of 
celebrities past and present, and of historical 
curiosities, is well worth a visit in the evening. 



I I 6 XVII. Recreation. 

EarVs Court (with the "Great Wheel", 300 feet 
high, &c.), the Crystal Palace, and the huge concern 
known as Olympia, offer a variety of attractions 
from morning till late at night. 

For lovers of high-class niiisic, there are any 
number (or amount) of concerts in London. The 
Enghsh are indeed a music-loving people, although 
their concerts depend, to a high degree, on the 
help of continental and American artistes and 
virtuosos. The favourite concerts are the Evening 
Promenade Concerts held daily, in August, Sep- 
tember and October, at Queen's Hall and at the 
Covent Garden Theatre, the Saturday "Pops" 
(i. e. Popular Concerts) given at Queen's Hall, at 
3 p. m. during the winter months, and the Stmday 
Afternoon Concerts taking place, in winter, at 
Queen's Hall and at the Royal Albert Hall. "Free 
concerts" (i d. to ^ d. per head) are given at the 
People's Palace, that noble institution for the 
benefit of the East End poor. It owes its exis- 
tence to Sir Walter Besant's novel "All Sorts 
and Conditions of Men", and to a rich benefactor's 
generous bequest of £ 12,250. 

The London Music Halls (the Alhambra, the 
Empire, the Palace, the Pavilion, the Tivoli, the 
Oxford, the Royal, &c.) remain open all the year 
round, and enjoy an immense popularity. Musical 
(instrumental and vocal) solos, comic songs, ballads, 
acrobatic, pantomimic and conjuring performances, 
negro dances and songs, skirt-dances, serpentine- 
dances, &c., are the chief entertainments there. 



XVII. Recreation. II7 

The foreigner may learn a good deal about Eng- 
lish life and ways in the London Music Halls. 
The London Theatres are, on the whole, not 
quite up to the level of the Paris or Berlin stages, 
because they are not subsidised (or supported) by 
the State, and rarely frequented by the aristocracy, 
except on first nights (or first performances). 
Moreover the average Englishman is, after his 
late and substantial dinner, not in a state (or frame) 
of mind to follow a high-class play, but prefers 
an amusing farce or comic opera. Shakespearean 
plays are performed at Drury Lane (Theatre), at 
His Majesty's Theatre, and at th.QAdelpht (Theatre). 
The "Penny Gaffs" (admission i d) in the East 
End are only visited by the coster(monger)s, 
and the performances there are seasoned with 
vulgarities of language and action. 

Tickets for a performance are obtained at the 
box-office (or booking-office), and may be secured 
there beforehand without an extra charge. The 
stalls are the best seats, and next to the orchestra; 
the dress-circle and boxes are also good places, 
whereas the pit, balcony, amphitheatre, and gallery 
(colloq.: the Gods) are inferior. In the stalls and 
dress-circle, evening dress is customary. There is 
no such thing as a prompter's box on the Eng- 
lish stage. The prompter stands at the right-hand 
side of the stage, out of sight of the spectators. 

Strange to say, there is only one permanent 
Circus in London, viz., the Hippodrome. 

Apart from these public entertainments there 



ii8 



XVII. Recreation. 



arc plenty of private ones, such as At-Homes, 
evening parties (dinner parties, balls or dances), 
fancy(-dress) balls, private theatricals, garden parties, 
picnics, &c. While some of these entertainments 
are reserved either for the winter or the summer, 
dancing is enjoyed at all times of the year. 

The ladies as well as the gentlemen have 
dancing cards on which they note down their 
partner for each dance. As a matter of course, a 
stranger must be introduced to the ladies whom 
he wishes to engage for a dance or for an extra 
(dance). In asking a lady to dance, it is usual to say: 
Gentleman. Lady. 

She accepts: 

No, I have a polka left. 



Are you engaged for 
every dance, Miss Sliaw ? 

May I have the next 
waltz, Miss Haigh? 



Will you give 



me the 



next galop; 



Can you spare me 
dance. Miss Boyle? 



Yes, you may. 
With pleasure. 

She declines (or refuses): 
I am very sorry, but 
I feel rather tired, and 
should like to have a rest. 
Very sorry, indeed, I 
have not one left; my card 
is filled, as you see. 

After a dance, the gentleman asks his partner 
whether she will take any refreshment, and if she 
accepts he takes her to the refreshment room, and 
obtains for her whatever she wishes. When the 
music for the next dance begins, he conducts her 
to her "chaperon" (i. e. an elderly lady or gent- 
leman, to accompany or "chaperon" her), says 
"Thank you", bows, and leaves her. 



XVII. Recreation. I I Q 

Frequently the number of dancing gentlemen 
is smaller than that of the ladies; in this case 
some ladies will occasionally remain without 
partners, and are then called "wall-flowers". 

The favourite dances are the waltz (or valse), 
polka, lancers, quadrille. Highland schottische, Sir 
Roger de Coverley and other "country dances". 

Sports and Games. 

John Bull is a great lover of sports and open-air 
pastimes. He indulges in some sport or other all 
the year round. Cricket 2i\\A Football, '(h.o^Q essentially 
English games, rank first; there is hardly an English- 
man who has not played them at some time or other. 
Every school has its Cricket and Football Club; one 
or more Cricket "Elevens" and Football "Teams" 
are chosen, and there is a "Captain" (one of the boys) 
to each. Cricket is played in spring and summer. 
Football in autumn and winter. A Cricket team 
has 1 1 players (the so-called "Eleven") on each 
side. Football is played by teams of 1 1 (in the 
"Association" game) or 15 (in the "Rugby" game). 
The principal London Cricket grounds are Lord's 
(Cricket Ground), and the (Kennington) Oval. 

In the game of Football each side endeavours 
to kick a leather ball through or over the opposite 
party's goal (2 posts with a cross-bar). The "Associ- 
ation" game (in which the ball must not be touched 
by hand) is not so rough as the "Rugby" game 
(which allows of the ball being picked up). Bones 
are not unf requently broken in the course of the play. 



I 70 XVn. Rpcrpatinn. 

There are amateur cricketers, amateur football 
players, and so-c?A\QAprofessionals^\\o receive pay 
for playing. Professional cricketers, on completing 
the first 50 runs in one innings, receive an additional 
reward oi £, \, the so-called "talent-sovereign". 

Among the other open-air games, Lanm Tonus 
is played (with rackets and hollow india-rubber 
balls covered with felt) by ladies or gentlemen, 
on a perfectly level rectangular lawn (or court) 
marked out by lines made with whitewash, and 
divided half\vay by means of a net. A modern 
variety of the old game is called Rackets, and 
is played with long-handled rackets. — There is 
also an indoor game of tennis played on a table, 
and called Ping-Pong. 

(The game of) Golf is played over large 
commons, or links, with a small hard ball and a 
number of clubs (i. e. sticks) with crooked ends. 
The ball must be driven into a series of small 
holes, and the golfer who succeeds in this with 
the fewest strokes is the winner. Croquet, 
Hockey, Polo (played on horseback), and Lacrosse 
are other open-air games at ball. 

Athletics are of very different kinds: high 
jump, long jump, jumping with the pole, throwing 
the hammer, putting the weight (16 lbs., with one 
hand), throwing the cricket-ball, walking-races, 
hurdle-races (combining neat jumping and swift 
running), steeple-chases (runs across country, over 
hedges, ditches, brooks, tS:c.), paper-chases, sack- 
races (walking in a sack), and many others. 



XVII. Recreation. 12 1 



Boxing, "the noble art of self-defence", is 
allowed and regularly practised, provided thick 
boxing-gloves are used. Only the lower orders 
frequently settle their quarrels in a quiet back- 
slum by several rounds (or goes) with their bare 
fists (or knuckles). Gyimiastics and fencing are 
also practised in England. 

Cycling (see page 141) is a favourite exercise. 
There are circular cycling tracks both for practice 
and races (or matches). The length of a track 
varies, but it is usually about 3 or 4 "laps" (i. e. 
r(xmds) to the mile. ("A has lapped B" means: 
A is one round in front of his rival B). 

Skating is practised on skates, and may also 
be indulged in, even in the "dog-days", on real 
ice skating-rinks in London. Pneumatic skates, 
mounted on little wheels with pneumatic tyres, 
have also been manufactured (or made). 

Hunling is carried on from August to the 
middle of April. Without a game-licence (;f 3 a 
year in England) no sportsman is allowed to kill 
game. Fox-hunting is very popular among the 
gentry. The fox is chased (or hunted) by a pack 
of fox -hounds followed by sportsmen (without 
guns) on horseback. When the fox is exhausted, 
he is caught by the hounds, and worried to death. 
To kill the fox by a gun-shot would be considered 
unsportsmanhke ; he who does it, is regarded in 
the same light as a murderer. vStag-hunting is 
practised in a similar way as fox-hunting. Hare- 
shooting and deer-stalking (on foot, with a gun) 



J -> 2 XVII. Recreation. 

are also carried on. Partridge-shooting takes place 
in the fields, pheasant-shooting in the woods or 
woodlands. On the moors and heaths of Yorkshire 
and Scotland, grouse-shooting is a very popular 
sport from August 12th to December nth. — 
Fowling consists in killing wild fowl (or birds) 
with a Hght gun, a so-called fowling-piece, loaded 
with small shot. — Fishing is often pursued in 
a punt (or fishing boat); the angler requires a 
fishing-rod and other tackle. 

Swimming is a popular sport in summer, and 
swimming-races for the championship of England 
are held. An English plunger, without a diving- 
bell, is said to have remained for 4^ minutes under 
water in a tank, in 1886. The most celebrated 
champion swimmer was Captain Webb; he swam 
from Dover to Calais (2 i miles) in 22 hours, in 1875. 
Eight years later, he lost his life in a whirlpool while 
trying to swim the Rapids below the Niagara Falls. 

Rowing, of course, occupies a very prominent 
place in English sports; but no aquatic gathering 
can be compared with the Oxford and Cambridge 
Boat Race (see page 81). — Yachtifig (in a steam 
or saiUng-yacht) is another of England's national 
pastimes, but very expensive. Regattas (or sailing- 
races) are frequently held, and among the most 
fashionable and pleasant yachting fixtures is the 
"Cowes Week", i. e. a meeting taking place near 
Cowes (in the Isle of Wight), in August. 

In matters of driving, riding or horse-racing, 
it is hard to excel the true Briton, The Eng- 



XVII. Recreation. 123 

lish race-meetings, at any rate, beat everything 
else in this line, and no races in the world equal, 
in point of popularity, the Derby and the Oaks, 
both of which are run in May or June. 

Derby Day is a great London holiday. 
Thousands of people "go down to the Derby" 
for the purpose of witnessing (or seeing) the 
"fun of the fair". Epsom Downs, where the 
Derby is run, are about i6 miles to the .South 
of London, in Surrey. The course is li mile 
(2-4 kilom.) in length. The name of the race is due 
to the Earl of Derby, who instituted it in 1780; 
(it is not run in Derbyshire). The stakes usually 
amount to more than £ 6,000, and the bookmakers 
do a very good business in betting at Epsom and 
in their London offices. In England, betting is very 
prevalent, and in every large town bookmakers 
may be found ready to "lay the odds", which is not 
prohibited by law, whereas lotteries are declared 
illegal. The Oaks Races are also run at Epsom. 
Nearly every one has a hobby (or favourite 
occupation) of some kind to fill up the long winter 
evenings. In particular favour are: reading 
novels, playing the piano, violin, guitar, or zither, 
playing at cards (whist, cribbage, &c.), photography, 
drawing, painting, fretwork (i. e. making artistic 
articles of ornament and of furniture by working 
wood with a fretsaw and other tools), (chip-) carving 
! (in wood), pokerwork (making picturesque orna- 
! ments on wood by burning its surface with a 
heated poker or other iron), and bent iron work. 



124 -^^'^l^^- i^-^st. Letters. Tdegiaph. Cable. Telephone. Electricity. 

XVIIl. 
Postal Arrangements. Letters. Tele- 
graph. Cable. Telephone. Electricity. 

There is hardly any public official more 
popular and more welcome than the postman 
(officially called letter-carrier). It is he who 
brings g"ood and sometimes also bad news, going 
round from house to house, and dropping the 
letters and other correspondence into the letter- 
box ("Letters" ) affixed to the front- door. He 
never forgets to give his double knock. In Lon- 
don there are up to 1 1 collections and deliveries 
daily. Letters and post-cards a,re posted at tlie 
Post Offices (General Post Office [G. P. O.], 
District Offices, or Branch Offices), or at one of 
the numerous red pillar-boxes placed at the edge 
of the pavement. (The ^rtr-^-coloured bins are 
for street refuse). 

Before posting my letter, note (i. e. a short 
informal letter), or card, I must, of course, first 
write it. For this purpose I get a sheet of note- 
paper, a pen, and some ink. White paper is the 
most appropriate. I first write my full address 
and the date (in the right-hand top-corner). The 
openings My dear Smith, (Dear) Sir, Madam 
(applying to all ladies). Gentlemen, &c., are fol- 
lowed by a comma. What I have to say to my 
correspondent, ends by a polite expression, e. g. 
Yours sincerely , Yours truly , Yours faithfully, 
Respectfully yours, &c. The signature comes last. 



XVIII. Post. Letters. Telegraph. Cable. Telephone. Electricitj-. I 2 5 

When my letter is finished, I put it in(to) an 
envelope, and close it. Sometimes I also seal it 
with sealing v^ax, and put on my crest by means 
of a seal. Then I write the address (or direction), 
and stick a (postage) stamp on: 2i d. every \ oz. 
for abroad, i d. for inland letters not exceeding 
4 oz. in weight, and i d. for each i oz. to the 
British Possessions and to Egypt. 

There are two kmds of letters, viz., business (or 
commercial) letters, and private (or familiar) letters. 
Among the latter we may distinguish letters 
of congratulation (upon a birthday, the New- Year, 
or any other joyful event), letters of condolence, 
letters of thanks, letters of apology, letters of intro- 
duction, petitions, applications, and many others.' 

In the address I may either put Mr. before 
the name, or Esq. (i. e. Esquire) after. When 
corresponding with my tailor, I write e. g.: Mr. 
Robert Taylor, 36, Chancery Lane, London, W. C. 
But in addressing a professional gentleman, I 
write, for instance: Christopher Smith, Esq., 25, 
Piccadilly, London, W. The words Mr. and Esq. 
now have the same meaning, and must not be 
both used together in the same address. In writing 
to a clergyman, doctor, professor, captain, major, 
colonel, general, admiral, &c., neither Esq. nor 
Mr. is put, but simply the title or rank, and address. 
In the case of a clergyman, the Christian name 
must be added. An EngHsh school-boy is addressed 

I For details see Kron's English Letter Writer, published 
by J. Bielefelds Verlag, Freiburg (Baden). 

Kron, The Little Londoner. 8. 9 



12 6 XVIII. Post. Letters. Telegraph. Cable. Telephone. Electricity. 

as Master . . . (not Mr. or Esq.), a married lady 
as Mrs. . . . (pronounced Missis), an unmarried lady 
as Miss . . ., several young ladies as T/ie Misses . . . 

Other remarks on the envelope may be: Please 
forward, Please send on, To be forwarded (or sent 
on) (in case the addressee is absent from home), 
Care of (shortened: cjo, i. e, to be delivered to). 

When letters are sent to the Poste Restante, 
the Post Office must be specified after the name of 
the addressee, e. g. : W. Rice, Esq., G. P. O. (read : 
General Post Office), London; W. Rice, Esq., 
Charing Cross P. O., London. When calling for 
such letters, Mr. Rice will say to the post-office 
clerk: Are there any letters for Mr. Rice? 

If there is a possibility of my letter not 
reaching the addressee, I write in one corner, 
or on the back. From followed by my name 
and address, or I have my letter registered (fee 
zd. in addition to the ordinary postage). Letters 
and other correspondence whose addressee cannot 
be found — so-called "dead letters" — are sent 
to the Returned (or Dead) Letter Office (a de- 
partment of the G. P. O.), where they are opened 
and disposed of (returned, if possible, to the 
sender, or destroyed). 

The Post Offices also forward plain and illus- 
trated post-cards (inland i d., abroad i d), and, 
— under a wrapper, at a rate of \ d. per 2 oz. — : 
"halfpenny packets" (printed and commercial 
matter for the inland only), "printed papers", 
"commercial papers", and "sample packets". 



XVIII. Pn5t. Letters. Telograph. Cable. Tplpphone. Electricity. 127 

Money may be sent by Money Orders, Postal 
Orders (inland and colonies), or registered letters. 
Foreign Money Orders are only paid at the Post 
Office. Foreign Telegraph Money Orders can be 
sent to, and received from, most countries. 

Parcels not over 1 1 lbs. in weight can be sent 
by Parcel Post (inland, colonial, and foreign). 

Telegrams may be sent to all parts of the 
United Kingdom (U. K.) at the rate of td. for 
the first twelve words, and one halfpenny for 
each additional word; addresses are charged for. 
The minimum cost of a foreign telegram is \od. 
Telegrams are transmitted by the telegraph (or 
by wire). The telegraph acts by means of elec- 
tricity passing through copper wires. 

In 1896, an Italian electric engineer, W.Marconi, 
invented an electric apparatus for sending messages 
by means of wireless telegraphy, i. e. without 
going through a wire. Marconi has transmitted 
such messages right across the Atlantic (Ocean), 
from Poldhu (Cornwall) to Cape Breton (Canada), 
a distance of about 2500 sea-miles. All large vessels 
now have a wireless installation. 

Cablegrams (i. e. messages by one of the trans- 
atlantic cables) may be sent from Europe to North 
America (fee: i s. to 1/8 per word of 15 letters), 
and to other parts of the globe (up to 1 1 j-. a word). 

The telephone is another apparatus by means 
of which messages can be sent quickly. Just as 
we can write by telegraph, we can speak by 
(or through the) telephone. There are a great 



J -, Q XVIII. Post. Letters. Telegraph. Cable. Telephone. Electricity. 

number of public call rooms (or offices) in London; 
the fee is 3^. for each conversation of 3 minutes. 
A telephone between London and Paris was estab- 
lished in 1 891; the fee is 8s. per conversation 
of 3 minutes. The usual phrases for speaking 
through the telephone are: (Give me) number . . . , 
please (said in ringing up the attendant at the 
exchange [station]). Are you there? (said to the 
correspondent) — Here Mr. . . . (caller's name). 
When the conversation is finished, both speakers 
turn the handle as a signal for disconnecting. 

Electricity is also applied to the working of 
the phonograph, electric lighting, bells, trams, 
cabs, &c. One of the most marvellous inven- 
tions of the nineteenth century was its appli- 
cation to photography. In December 1895, a 
learned German University Professor, the physicist 
Dr. Rontgen, discovered an electric light capable 
of affecting a photographic plate after passing 
through opaque (or not transparent) substances, 
such as wood, human flesh, &c., whereas other 
things, as metals and bones, do not allow those 
rays — called Rontgen' s X-Rays — to pass through 
them. This "Photography of the Invisible (or 
Unseen)" caused an enormous sensation through- 
out the civilised world, and has already ren- 
dered great services to medical science, especially 
to surgery. - Of other electricians and electrical 
engineers the most noted are the German Werner 
Siemens, and the American Thomas Edison, "the 
Sorcerer of Menlo Park" (near New York). 



1 



XIX. Travelling by Land and Sea. 12g 

XIX. 
Travelling by Land and Sea. 

I am very fond of travelling, and go for a 
journey (by rail), or a voyage (by steamer or 
sailing-ship) at least once a year. Formerly people 
used to drive in a mail-coach, as there were no 
railways (in the U. S. A.: railroads) until 1825. In 
that year, the first of all railway-trains, drawn 
by "Puffing Billy", ran from Stockton-on-Tees to 
Dadington (county of Durham). Ten years later, 
in 1835, the first German railway line (between 
Nuremberg and Fiirth) was constructed. 

Railway. — A railway-train is made up (or 
composed) of a number of carriages (in the U. S. A. 
called cars) for the passengers, of a guard's 
van for the guard (U. S. A.: conductor), of a 
luggage van, of the tender, which contains fuel, 
coal, &c., and of a steam-engine, which draws 
(or moves) the train and is called a locomotive. 
The locomotive has 6 or more large wheels which 
are set in motion (or made to turn round) by a 
crank that is moved by a piston going backwards 
and forwards in a cylinder. The piston owes its 
motion to the steam which is produced in the 
boiler and thence carried into the cylinder. It is 
the stoker's (or fireman's) duty to see to the fire 
in the furnace of the engine. 

All trains run on a set of 7'ails (i. e. bars of 
steel); every track (or hne) has two parallel rails 



1 -y Q XIX. Travelling by Laud and Sea. 

on which the wheels run.^ The rails are held in 
position by means of sleepers and iron bolts. 
Mov(e)able rails serve to switch (or shunt) carriages 
from one track (or line) to another. They are 
therefore called switches (or points), and are in 
charge of a switchman (or pointsman), who 
occupies a ver}'' important post, for, the least (or 
slightest) carelessness on his part may become the 
cause of a railway accident, and thus endanger 
(or jeopardise) many lives. Most railway accidents 
are the result of a collision, or of the train running 
off the rails (or leaving the metals). Therefore the 
whole of the line is watched by line-keepers. 
There are signal-men to work the signals, and 
gate-men to attend to the swing-gates at railway 
crossings. The train itself is in charge of the 
guard, engine-driver, stoker, and brake(s)men 
(who work the brakes). In case of imminent 
danger, any passenger is allowed to pull the 
communication cord, and cause the driver to stop 
the train at a moment's notice. 

Many travellers on English railways effect a 
life-insurance by buying, and carrying with them, 
a copy of the current issue of Tit-Bits, Aiiswers, 
or Pearson's Weekly [id. each); in case they are 
killed in a railway accident, a considerable sum 



I The so-called Rack Railways (as the Snowdoa Railway, 
the Rigi Ry., &c.), which run to the top of high mountains, are 
worked on the rack-system. Between the ordinary rails there is 
a rack-rail with cogs (or teeth) which afford a hold for the cog- 
wheels of the locomotive. 



XIX. Travelling by Land and Sea. 1 3 1 

of money {£ looo or more) will be paid to their 
next-of-kin (i. e. nearest relative). 

In England, all trains keep to the left of the 
line, and people get in or out on the left side 
of the train. There are ordinary (or slow, or 
passenger) trains, some of which are called "Par- 
liamentary Trains" because, by Act of Parliament, 
the Railway Companies are required to run at least 
one train every day, on each line, at the fare of 
1 penny a mile for 3rd class. Then there are fast 
trains which do not stop at all stations, express 
trains (or expresses) stopping only at a few 
principal stations, excursion trains at reduced 
fares, special (or extra) trains running as required 
by the traffic or when hired for a special pur- 
pose, and goods trains for the conveyance of 
goods, bulky articles, cattle, &c. 

Certain trains have special names; thus all 
trains going up to London are called "up-trains", 
those coming from London and going down 
into the country are styled "down-trains"; those 
conveying (or carrying) the mail (i. e. letters, 
papers, and parcels) are termed "mail-trains"; the 
fast trains running between London and Dover 
or other seaports are known as "boat-trains" (they 
run every day, but at different hours, according 
to the tide, i. e. flood tide, or ebb tide). The 
Scotch express running- from London (King's 
Cross) to Edinburgh in yi hours (at a rate of 
85-5 kilometres, or 53 miles, per hour) is called the 
"Flying Scotchman"; the one from London (Euston 



.-_ XIX. Travelling by Land and Sea. 

Station) to Holyhead (Island), near Anglesey 
(starting-point of mail-steamers for Dublin), is the 
so-called "Wild Irishman"; and the express which 
covers the distance between Victoria (Station) and 
Ramsgate in two hours is the "Granville Express". 
The passengers' carriages are of 3 classes (ist, 
2nd, and 3rd). The 2nd class has been done away 
with on many of the main lines, because it did 
not pay. The classes differ in respect to the fare 
to be paid and the degree of elegance and com- 
fort. All seats are cushioned (or padded); only 
the 3rd class compartments have wooden seats 
on some lines. Certain trains have through- 
carriages running between the principal stations. 
Besides the seats, all carriages have doors, win- 
dows, a top (or ceiHng), racks for Hght luggage, 
a brake, and a communication cord. At night, 
or where there are many tunnels, the compart- 
ments are lighted from the ceiling by gas, or oil, 
or electric light; in winter, they are heated by 
foot-warmers filled with hot water, or by pipes 
supplied with hot steam. But the heating some- 
times leaves much to be desired. Smoking is 
prohibited in English railway trains, except in com- 
partments specially marked "Smoking". "Dining 
car(riage)s" and "sleeping car(riage)s" are attached 
to many express trains called "corridor trains" 
because the carriages are connected throughout 
by covered gangways (or narrow corridors). On 
the American railways there are also "drawing 
room cars", "observation cars", &c. 



XIX. Travelling by Land and Sea. I 33 

Before getting in, I must take a ticket (first 
class, second class, or third class ticket, as the 
case may be) at the booking-office. There are 
single tickets, return tickets, through- tickets (e. g. 
from London to Paris), excursion tickets, tourist 
tickets, circular (tour) tickets, season tickets, &c., 
issued by the Railway Companies. English tourist 
tickets, as a rule, are available from the ist of 
July until the 31st of December, and allow 60 lbs. 
of personal luggage free of charge. On most of 
the English main hnes, a return ticket is not 
cheaper than two single ones. Return tickets 
from the Continent to England are available for a 
month or even longer. Circular tickets are not 
issued by the English Railway Companies, but 
the well-known tourist agents Thomas Cook 
& Son in London have made arrangements by 
which passengers may be booked through to any 
part of the civilised world. 

In order to get my ticket, I say to the clerk 
at the booking-office: "Richmond, first, single", 
or "Crystal Palace, third, return, including ad- 
mission". When leaving the waiting-room, I may 
have to show my ticket to a ticket-collector who 
examines and punches (or clips) it. Before leaving 
the arrival station, every passenger has to give 
up his ticket to the ticket-collector. 

The English railway -stations have two plat- 
forms. All railway-clocks show Greenwich time. 
The best way t(^ find out the names of the stations 
is to look at the gas-lamps or at the benches. 



1 T.A XIX. Travelling by Laud anJ Sea. 

for, the walls of English stations are covered all 
over with posters (or advertisements) which give 
the building a very gay appearance; without them 
the London termini (the station at either end of 
a main line is called a terminus) would look very 
gloomy. In many stations, people are not allowed 
to enter the platform without having a ticket; in 
some countries special platform tickets are to be got 
at the booking-office, or at a "penny-in-the- 
slot machine". Most stations have refreshment- 
rooms. 

When we go on a journey, we take luggage 
with us. We put the small luggage on the rack 
or under the seat, whereas the heavy lug'gage is 
labelled (in America: checked), and put in(to) the 
luggage van. On the English lines, the passenger 
can practically take (or carry) as much luggage 
as he likes. The Companies do not make a 
charge for excess luggage, unless the excess of 
weight is very considerable. The traveller only gets 
a luggage ticket when his luggage is booked (or 
registered) to a station on the Continent (56 lbs. are 
free). Continental passengers travelling to London 
must indicate the terminus to which they wish their 
luggage to be booked. Small luggage includes 
a portmanteau, a hold-all, a carpet-bag, a travelling- 
bag (usually called a gladstone [bag]), a satchel, 
a hat-box, a rug, an umbrella, a sunshade,- &c. 
Heavy luggage comprises big boxes, trunks, and 
other heavy or bulky articles. Sometimes the 
traveller wants to break the journey at an inter- 



XIX. Travelling by Land and Sea. 135 

mediate station; in this case (s)he leaves his (or 
her) small luggage in the "Cloak Room" at the 
railway-station. 

Before or shortly after setting foot on English 
soil, the traveller must open all his luggage, and 
have it examined by the custom-house officers. 
The articles upon which an ordinary tourist or 
traveller has to pay duty are lace, spirits, Eau 
de Cologne, cigars, cigarettes, and tobacco. The 
official asks the traveller: "Have you anything 
to declare?", and the answer will be: "Not that 
1 know of", or, "Only things for my own use". 
It is best not to smuggle, or conceal, but to 
declare all things that are not free (of duty). 
Foreign reprints of copyright English books, such 
as the novels of the Tauchnitz Edition, are con- 
fiscated. 

When the examination is over, the officers 
mark every piece of luggage with chalk, and the 
passenger may go straight to the train, or to the 
waiting-room, and keep in readiness for getting 
in again as soon as the carriage-doors are opened. 
At Dover and Queenborough, the traveller has 
to decide at which London terminus he wishes 
to arrive, as there are two trains waiting on the 
pier, one for Victoria and Holborn Viaduct, the 
other for Charing -+-(i. e. Charing Cross), Cannon 
Street, and London Bridge. As soon as the station- 
master gives the signal, the guard calls "(All) 
right!", or "Go it!", or he waves his green flag or his 
lantern, and the train starts (or leaves, departs). 



I ^^6 XIX. Travelling by Land and Sea. 

On arriving (in London), it stops, and all pas- 
sengers get out, give up their tickets, look after 
their luggage, ask a porter to take it to a cab (a 
hansom, or a four-wheeler), and drive to their hotel. 

Before going on a journey, I buy a time-tahle 
which tells me when my train leaves, where it 
stops, where I have to change (train), and when 
it arrives. The ABC (Alphabetical) Railway Guide 
is the best for London, and Bradshaw's Guide, 
for the country and for abroad. 

Steamer. — When it (or the weather) is fine, 
a voyage (by steamer) has a charm of its own. The 
big Ocean "greyhounds" (or "liners") of the North 
German Lloyd (Bremen), the Hamburg-American 
Line, the (London) P. and O. (i. e. Peninsular and 
Oriental Navigation Company), the (Liverpool) 
Cunard Line and White Star Line, the (French) 
Messageries Maritimes and Compagnie Generale 
Transatlantique, and the (Belgian) Red Star Linie 
leave nothing to be desired as far as quick trav- 
eUing, comfort, and luxury are concerned. The 
voyage from Southampton to New York, for 
instance, can now be performed in less than 
6 days. Ocean liners are exceedingly large; some 
of them measure up to 220 metres in length, and 
are able to carry (or accommodate) 3500 persons 
(passengers and crew); they go at an average speed 
of 25 knots (i. e. 46.5 kilometres) an hour. The bow 
(i. e. the fore part), the stern (i. e. after part), the 
decks, the quarter-deck (between mizzen-mast and 
stern), the helm, the keel, the bowsprit, the main- 



XIX. Travelling by Land and Sea. 1^7 

mast, the foremast, the mizzen-mast, the rigging, 
the funnel(s), several huge and powerful steam- 
engines, the compass, and the chronometers, are 
the principal features of an Ocean steamer. In 
the cabins there are berths to sleep in; on deck 
are deck-chairs (or folding-chairs, camp-stools) to sit 
on. — The crew consist(s) of the captain, the ist 
and 2nd officers, the doctor, the helmsman (who 
manages the rudder or helm), the sailors, cooks, 
stewards, &c. — When leaving a port, the vessel 
weighs anchor; at her arrival she casts anchor, 
and lies (or rides) at anchor for some time. All 
vessels fly (or carry) a flag. 

An unwelcome experience on board is sea- 
sickness. The only prescription against it is — 
staying on land. Medicines are of no good in 
cases of sea-sickness. When fresh air and mo- 
deration in eating and drinking, interesting books, 
and — last, (though) not least— a little courage fail, 
all other preventives, as a rule, are of no avail. 
I am a good sailor, and can stand a good deal 
of rough weather without getting sick (or ill), 
although I would rather have a smooth (or quiet) 
than a rough passage. Many people are bad sailors. 

The balloon has, up to the present, fallen 
short of our expectations, and will not prove 
really useful for aerial navigation, until we have 
found a means of steering it. Nevertheless, (air) 
balloons — especially captive balloons, held by a 
rope — are used for the purpose of watching the 
movements and finding out the strength of the 



, . Q XX. Means of Communication. 

enemy in time of war. Balloon-ascents are also 
made with a view to study(ing) the atmosphere 
at various altitudes. 

Balloons are huge balls made of silk or some 
other light material, and filled with (coal) gas or 
hydrogen gas, so as to rise and float in the at- 
mosphere. They are covered with india-rubber 
varnish to render them air-tight and prevent the 
gas from escaping. A net-work entirely covers the 
balloon, and has a wickerwork car attached to 
it. In this car are the balloonists (or aeronauts), 
an anchor, bags filled with sand, a telescope, a 
compass, maps, a barometer, a thermometer, a 
rope-ladder, provisions (or eatables), and sometimes 
a parachute. Two Frenchmen, the brothers Joseph 
and Stephen Montgolfier, invented the balloon, 
and made their first ascent in 1783. 

XX. 

Means of Communication. 

Underground Railways, — Underground London 
is crossed in all directions by tunnels for the 
trains (about 1400 daily on 07ie City line) of the 
Undergrou7id (Metropolitan and District) Raikvays. 
The three Electric Railways leading to and from 
the heart of the City are also underground; two of 
them even pass under the Thames. A third under- 
ground electric line is the new Central London 
Railway, (opened in 1900), commonly called 
The (Twopenny) Tnbe; it has only one class, and 



XX. Means of Conimuniration. i ■• n 

a uniform fare of 2 d. for any distance. The "Tube" 
runs from the Bank (in the City) to Shepherd's 
Bush, passing under the large thoroughfare of 
Cheapside, Oxford Street, Uxbridge Road. 

Thames Steamboats. — Numerous steamboats 
ply on the Thames, of course, weather permitting. 
The fares are very low (i d. to 2 d.). London 
Bridge is the point of departure. The boats as 
a rule call at all the piers. 

Tramways. — Trams ^ are not permitted within 
the very crowded City of London, nor in the 
aristocratic West End; but they are very popular 
in the other parts. Like railways, they run on 
iron rails laid on the roadway of the streets. We 
distinguish electric trams (moved by electricity), 
and steam-trams (drawn by steam-engines); horse- 
trams are out of date now. The London tram-cars 
have seats inside and outside (or on the top); 
standing on the platform is forbidden. The 
conductor collects (or receives) the fares, asking 
for them by a set phrase: "Fares, please!" In 
London, the fare is the same for inside and out- 
side (or top) seats. Every passenger gets a small 
ticket on which are marked the amount of the 
fare, and the distance he rides. Many people 
prefer riding on the top; here you have the ad- 
vantage of seeing more of the traffic, the air is 
far fresher, and you may smoke if you feel inclined. 



I Tram is an old Teutonic word meaning "log of wood, 
beam"; the tram-road was at first a log-road on which (miners') 
trucks were pushed or drawn along. 



J ^1 o XX. 'Means of Conimunicaticu 

Omnibuses (or Buses) are much the same as 
the tram-cars; only they do not run on rails, and 
are either motor-buses, or drawn by two horses 
driven by a driver. Most of the London buses have 
special names. The fares and tickets are Hke those 
of the trams. There is a tariff (or table of fares) 
inside every omnibus. On the so-called "pirates" 
or "pirate buses" (belonging to private proprie- 
tors), the passenger receives no ticket, and is 
asked a higher fare than is usual. 

The "rule of the road" for all vehicles is to 
keep to the left (for pedestrians see p. 146); 
passengers will therefore have to wait for a bus 
or tram on the left side of the street which they 
intend to take. "If you go right you go wrong, 
if you go left you go right". When all seats are 
taken (or engaged), the bus or tram is said to 
be "full up"; often it is only "full inside". 

Coaches. — In fine weather, elegant coaches, 
frequently driven by their owners, run from 
London to various places, e. g. to Kew, Rich- 
mond, Hampton Court, Epsom, Ascot, Virginia 
Water, Windsor, &c. The fares are rather high. 
Cabs. — When in a hurry, I take a cab 
(a two-wheeler or a four-wheeler, the latter in 
case I have much luggage). The cabs with two 
wheels are called hansom-cabs, or hansoms, from 
(the name of) the inventor; they are open in 
front, and have the driver's seat elevated behind. 
The fares are reckoned by distance (or by the 
journey), unless the cab is expressly hired 



XX. Means of Coiiimuuicatiun. 



141 



(or taken) by time (or by the hour). The London 
cabmen (colloquially: cabbies) are good whips, 
that is to say, they are noted for their skilful and 
fast driving. Motor cabs (or Electric cabs) are 
rarely seen in the London streets. 



Gentleman. 

Halloo, hansom! Are 
you engaged? 

(Take me to) 14, West- 
moreland Road, Bayswater. 

Yes, you may put it on 
the top, but mind it doesn't 
come down. 

Stop ! You have gone 
too far. Turn back, please. 

No, I told you to take 
me to number fourteen. 

Stop ! Here it is. What's 
your fare? 

Here are two shillings. 
Keep the rest for yourself, 
and hand me (down) the 
portmanteau, will you? 



Cabman. 

No, I am disengaged. 
(Where to, Sir?) 

All right. Shall I take 
your portmanteau? 

No fear (of that), Sir. 



Weil, didn't you say 
number forty? 

Ah, that's quite different. 

One and sixpence fare, 
and twopence for the lug- 
gage, one and eight in all. 

Thank you, Sir. 



Here you are, Sir. 

Cycling. — The (bi)cycle (or wheel, machine) 
nowadays is the most popular of all means of 
locomotion. There are bicycles (having 2 wheels 
of nearly equal height), and tricycles (having 3 
wheels). Machines for ordinary use are called 
roadsters, those for racing, racers. There are 
also junior (i. e. boys' and girls') machines, and 
ta?ide?ns, for 2 or more riders. — The principal 
parts of a cycle are the wheels with spokes, the 

Kroii, The- Liltle Londoner. 8. lO 



1 A.2 XXI. London. 

frame(-work), saddle, pedals (i. e. cranks and 
treads), two small chain-wheels, the chain, gear- 
case, handle-bars, brake, mud-guards, bell, lamp, 
and tool-bag. The wheels have hollow pneumatic 
tyres (also spelt tires) of india-rubber, and filled 
with air by means of a small air-pump. Solid 
and cushion tyres are no longer up-to-date. — 
Chainless cycles , motor cycles, and free wheels 
are the latest novelties. 

Motor Cars (or Motors, Automobile Cars, 
Aiitomobiles) are now in particular favour with 
wealthy enthusiasts fond of independent travelling 
at high speeds. The motor cars are propelled 
(or driven) by petroleum, steam, benzine, electricity, 
&c., and some of these costly vehicles travel as fast 
as express trains. Motor lorries have been adopted 
for transporting goods, and for military purposes. 

XXI. 

London. 

London, the English Aletropolis, is the largest 
and most populous city in the world. It was 
founded many years before Christ. Its original 
name Lyn-dyn (Lake Fort) was altered into Lon- 
dinium by the Romans who conquered Britain, 
from 47 to 85 A. D, After the downfall of the 
Roman empire, the Roman legions were with- 
drawn from Britain (in 410), which afterwards 
suffered severely from the raids of the Picts and 
Scots. Being unable to resist these wild hordes, 
the Britons called the Saxons to their aid (in 449), 



XXI. London. I AT. 

and the latter, helped by the Angles, Jutes, 
and other Teutonic tribes, gradually took possession 
of the whole country (between 449 and 585), 
and London was made the capital of the East 
Saxon kingdom (one of the 7 kingdoms of the 
Anglo-Saxon "Heptarchy"). From this time down 
to the present day, London has been continually 
increasing in size and population. 

London is about 14 miles (=22 kilom.) from 
East to West, and about 9 miles (= 15 kilom.) 
from North to South. According to the census 
of 1 90 1, its population was 4i miUions, and on 
an average increases at the rate of 30 or 40,000 
every year. What is known as "Greater London", 
consisting of the City and the Metropolitan Police 
District, returns a grand total of above 6 i millions, 
or more than Paris, Berlin, and Vienna combined, 
and even more than the population of Australia, 
Sweden, or Bavaria. Above 1 40,000 are foreigners 
(especially Russians, Germans, Poles, Frenchmen, 
Italians), of whom close upon 6000 have become 
naturalised. (A certificate of naturalisation is 
granted only to those foreigners who have lived 
in the United Kingdom for a term of not less 
than 5 years; the fee is £ 5). Foreigners staying 
in London can obtain advice, support, and pro- 
tection from their ambassador, minister, or consul. 

The London of To-day is (or Hes, extends, 
is built, is'"-'' situated) on the river Thames, 
which divides the Metropolis into two unequal 
portions, and forms, roughly speaking, a capital 

10* 



, . ^ XXI. Loudon. 

144 

M as it crosses (or flows through) it from (the) 
West to (the) East. The southern part (on the 
rt£-/i^,ha.nk), the so-called "Surrey Side" or "Over 
the Water", lies in (the counties of) Surrey and 
Kent, and consists principally of manufactories, 
warehouses, shops, and small private houses in- 
habited by people of the labouring (or working) 
classes. The portion North of the Thames (on 
the le/l bank) lies in the county of Middlesex, 
and a small part in Essex. All important public 
and private buildings, and the principal parks are 
in this Northern part. The banks on either side (or 
on both sides) of the river are lined with wharves, 
docks, and piers, and partly with embankments 
of masonry; the latter are very fine promenades. 

No less than 19 bridges (6 of them for rail- 
ways only) cross the Thames. The finest of them 
is the new Tower Bridge (opened in 1894), which 
has two crossings, a permanent footway, and a 
draw-bridge that can be raised (by hydraulic 
power) for the passage of large vessels. The 
high-level footway and the draw-bridge are 
supported by two massive Gothic towers. The 
total cost of the bridge amounted to £ 1,600,000. 
The neighbouring London Bridge is the oldest 
and most important crossing between the City 
and the Surrey Side. 

The part of London lying North (or on the 
left bank) of the Thames may be again divided 
into 2 gTeat halves, viz., the City (or l.ondon 
proper) with the East End, and the West End. 



J 



XXI. London. lAK 

The City and the East End lie to the East of the 
"Griffin" (i. e. the Memorial of the ancient Temple 
Bar, near the new Law Courts). The West End 
lies to the West of the Temple (see p. 77). 

The Ci'^y is the centre of the prodigious 
commerce and trade of the country. About one 
half of the City houses are merely used for busi- 
ness purposes, and left empty at night. The 
traffic is simply unparalleled; about 100,000 vehi- 
cles and 1,125,000 persons enter and leave its 
boundaries every day, but only about 30,000 are 
resident inhabitants. 

The parts to the East, including the Easi End 
proper (Whitechapel, Houndsditch), are inhabited 
by the lowest classes. 

In the West End are the mansions of the 
aristocracy ^ the better-known clubs, the parks, 
and most of the public buildings. 

We can form an idea of the number of 
London streets, lanes (or alleys), and blind alleys 
from the fact that, if laid (or placed) end to end, 
they would form a line 5000 kilometres long, 
and, at a rough estimate, would reach from Paris 
to St. Petersburg, and back to Paris; or again, 
they would cover ten times the distance between 
Cologne and Paris. 



I Also in Paris, Berlin, and other towns, the wealthier in- 
habitants group themselves to the West; the air is better there, 
because for tlrree parts of the year the wind blows from the 
West, North-West, or South-West, and the smoke and other 
impurities are thus carried towards the East. 



XXI. London. 



146 

The principal London thoroughfares connect 
the City with the West End. The two main 
arteries (or hnes of traffic) lead from the Bank 
to Uxbridge Road (from East to West), and to 
Victoria railway station (in the South West). Most 
streets are paved with wood or stone, or laid 
with asphalt. There are, beside the carriage road 
(sometimes called causeway) and gutters, two foot- 
paths or side- walks next to the houses. The "rule of 
the road" is, for foot-passengers, to keep to the 
right (hand) (see p. 140). Scavengers (or street- 
sweepers) are engaged from morning till night in 
keeping clean (or in sweeping) the London streets. 
In summer, watercarts go round and water the 
carriage ways to lay the dust. Of course, all 
streets are lighted (by gas or electric light); the 
street-lamps (or lamp-posts) stand along the curb- 
stones, at intervals of some hundred feet from 
one another. Pall Mall was the first street to 
be supplied with gas-light (in 1807). Very few 
London streets are planted with trees. 

In some street-names the word Place is sub- 
stituted for "Street" (e. g. Bedford Place); this 
denotes a fairly broad and rather short street, 
but not an open space or square. Other streets 
are called Road, or Roiv, or Causeway, or Grove 
(if there are trees), or Avenue, or Terrace (refer- 
ring to one row of houses only), &c. When 
several streets meet, and the corners are rounded 
off, this circular meeting-point is called a Circus, 
such as Oxford Circus (also called The Circus, 



XXI. London. TA7 

or Regent Circus). A semicircular street is called 
a Crescent, a narrow one is a Lane, Passage, or 
Alley ; an arched or covered passage is an Arcade. 

In order to find addresses of any kind, Kelly's 
bulky Post Office Directory will be of great use. 

Open spaces of any considerable size are 
unknown in inner London. All of them are trans- 
formed into Squares (having a square shape); some 
are laid out as gardens, and enclosed by an iron 
railing. Strange to say, the latter squares are 
only open to those who live in one of the sur- 
rounding houses. Every house-owner has a key to 
his square, and must pay towards the keeping of it. 

An attractive feature of London — which, as a 
whole, can hardly be called a fine town — are the 
extensive (or very large) parks, the "lungs of 
London", as they are called. Hyde Bark is three 
times as large as (the island of) Heligoland; 
Kensington Gardens are simply a continuation of 
Hyde Park. A large artificial lake, called the 
Serpentine, traverses both parks, and is a favourite 
place for skating. During the "Season" (see p. 
104), between 5 and 7 p. m., the Southern avenue, 
The Drive, (from Hyde Park Corner to Queen's 
Gate), is densely crowded with elegant carriages 
driven by powdered coachmen, and occupied by 
exquisitely dressed ladies and gentlemen of the 
aristocracy. The track parallel with The Drive, 
the famous Rotten Row, is reserved for riders 
(i. e. those on horseback). On Sundays, between 
12 and I p. m., Rotten Row (or The Row) is the 



XXI. London. 



148 

fashionable place for "Church Parade", i. e. a 
promenade after morning service. Carts and 
waggons are not allowed to enter "The Park", 
and cabs arc admitted only on the road separating 
Hyde Park from Kensington Gardens. — Green 
Park and St. James's Park are two public gardens 
of smaller size, and lie in club-land. The pretty 
Regent's Park, still larger than Hyde Park, and 
containing the "Zoo" (i. e. Zoological Gardens) and 
the Botanical Gardens, is the pleasure-ground of 
the middle and lower classes of N.W. T.ondon. 
For the inhabitants of East London, Victoria Park 
has been laid out, whereas the handsome Battersea 
Park with its "Sub-tropical Garden" is the favourite 
resort for those living in the South West. All 
parks are enclosed by high iron railings, and are 
open free to the public until late at night. There 
are benches and chairs to sit on , but the 
chairs have to be paid for (tickets at i d. for 
the whole day, and available in all parks). 

The large London parks, especiall}" Hyde Park, 
are of particular interest on Sundays. Thousands 
of people go there to listen to the free concerts 
given by military bands, or to hear the eloquent 
political or religious speeches of the "Hyde Park 
orators", also called "spouters", or "ranters" 
(i. e. public speakers, men and women). At any 
time of the day, in the week as well as on Sun- 
days, a great number of ragged roughs and un- 
employed labourers may be found lying and 
sleeping on the lawn in the scorching sun in 



XXL London. . . q 

Hyde Park and Green Park. Many of these 
idle loafers stay there all night. 

The gigantic city on the Thames is a huge 
commercial and manufacturing centre. There is 
hardly anything that money will not buy in 
London. In Regent Street are some of the 
finest shops in the world. Paternoster Row is an 
important centre of the publishing trade. Charing 
Cross Road is a centre for the second-hand book- 
trade. In Fleet Street most of the daily and 
periodical papers are published. Enormous sign- 
boards with gilt characters (or letters) on them 
cover the front of every stor(e)y in the main streets. 
The pawnbrokers have three golden balls hanging 
over the door of their (pawn-)shop; large spec- 
tacles indicate the shops of opticians; a (barber's) 
pole painted in white and red or blue stripes 
denotes a hairdresser's or barber's shop, &c. 

On the curbstones, penny-toy-men offer their 
cheap toys, flower-dealers their bunches of violets 
lavender, &c., match-boys their boxes of vestas 
(i.e. wax matches); others sell boot-laces, studs, pins, 
needles, trimmings, oranges and other fruit, &c. 
Organ grinders (Italians) go from street to street, 
playing popular music-hall ditties on their piano- 
organs which they hire from large London firms. 
Ragged urchins, colloquially called "gutter-snipes", 
and even young girls in their teens, dance to the 
music (polkas, waltzes, and frequently perfectly 
correct stage-steps). Now and then, a troupe of 5 or 
6 men in costume go about dancing to (the music of) 



150 XXI, London. 

some instrument. "German bands" (i. e. Germans 
playing on brass instruments) also provide musical 
"treats" at certain intervals. In quiet streets, "Punch 
and Judy" performances are often going on: 
"Punch", a hunchbacked puppet with a large nose, 
quarrels with his wife "Judy", and the altercation 
ends in a sound thrashing. The humorous "Cheap 
Jack", in the working-men's quarters, easily gets 
rid of his "cheap and nasty" articles. Newspaper 
boys, with their screaming voices, offer their "extra 
special" (edition). "Sandwichmen" walk slowly 
along the gutters, with boards in front and behind, 
announcing some new play, or some cheap shop 
or other. This great variety in the street-life is 
enhanced by buses, trams, motor cars, (dog-) 
carts, cabs, and bicycles going at a high speed. 
Public buildings are very numerous in London. 
There are about 1400 churches and chapels. 
St. Paul's Cathedral and' Westminster Abbey are 
the most prominent, and contain monuments of 
eminent Enghshmen. In "The Abbey", England's 
Temple of Fame, the "Poets' Corner" is sacred 
to the memory of celebrated poets and writers 
(statue of Shakespeare, busts of Milton and Gold- 
smith, t"v:c., &c.). A new Roman Catholic church, 
the huge Westminster Cathedral, stands near 
Victoria Station. — Other famous public buildings 
are the Houses of Parliament, Buckingham Palace 
(the King's London residence), the Tower (formerly 
a gloomy state prison, now an arsenal with an 
excellent collection of old armour), the Guildhall 



XXI. London. 1^1 



(City Town Hall), the Royal Coiirls of Justice 
(more popularly called The Law Courts), the 
British Museum (with a very good library and 
a large reading-room), the Imperial Institute, 
the Natural History Museum, the Victoria and Al- 
bert Museum, the National Gallery, &c. — Theatres, 
music-halls, lunatic asylums, hospitals, prisons, 
bathing establishments, free libraries, barracks, 
riding-schools, &c., are also to be found in London. 

Administration. London forms a county by 
itself, but has 3 separate governments: the "Corpo- 
ration of the City", the "London County Council", 
and the 28 new "Borough Councils". The City 
Corporation consists of the Lord Mayor, 26 Alder- 
men, and 206 Common Councilmen. The Lord 
Mayor is elected on the 29th of September, and 
on November gth takes the oath of office at the 
Law Courts (see p. 1 1 4). His residence is the 
Mansion House, opposite the Bank (of England). 
The London Coufity Council represents the whole 
of London (except the City), and comprises 19 
Aldermen, and 1 18 Councillors, making 137 in all; 
one of them is the Chairman. Each of the 28 
Borough Councils, createdin 1 90 1 , has its own Mayor, 
Aldermen, and Councillors (i Alderman for every 
6 Councillors). There are 227 Aldermen and 1362 
Councillors in all. These Borough Councils have 
taken over part of the functions of the County Coun- 
cil, e. g. control of the roads, of public health, &c. 

The Metropolitan Fire Brigade is under the 
control of the County Council. The appliances of 



. ri XXI. London. 

the Brigade include steam fire-engines, manual 
engines, floating fire-engines (on the Thames), 
escape stations (in the streets), above 40 miles of 
hose, &c. There are nearly 1300 firemen, and 
about 400 horses with 200 coachmen. 

The Cily Police is independent of the Metro- 
politan Police. The policemen or constables are 
frequently called "bobbies", "peelers", or "coppers" 
(see below, p. 183—186). They have no swords, 
but only a short club, called "truncheon", which is 
enclosed in a black case. They enjoy general popu- 
larity on account of their polite, though firm, ways. 
Asking one's Way. 

Considering the enormous number of streets, 
it would be almost impossible to find even a 
Londoner who knows every part of London and 
its numerous ways and by-ways. At any rate, to 
the ordinary visitor a full index of streets, and 
a good map (or plan) are quite indispensable. When 
information as to a locahty, or indeed anything 
else, is required, it is best to ask a policeman, whose 
answers are usually trustworthy and to the point. 

Ansv/ers. 
(Go) straight on, and take 
the third turning (or street) 



Questions. 

Can you direct nie (or 
tell, show me the way) to 
the British Museum, please ? 

(I) beg (your) pardon, is 
this the right way to the 
Bank? 

Excuse me, (Sir,) which 
is the nearest way to Pic- 



\.o (or on) the left (right). 

No, Sir, you arc quite 
wrong. It will be better 
for you to go back, and 
then ask again. 

I'm (very) sorry, I can't 
tell you. I am a stranger 



XXII. The Environs of London 



cadilly Circus? Does this 
street lead there? 

Will you kindly (or please) 
tell me where the nearest 
post-office (or letter-box) 
is about here? 

How long does it take 
from here to Hyde Park? 

Which 'bus (or tram) 
must I take to Victoria 
Station, please? 

I say, conductor, where 
have I to get down for 
Bloomsbury Square? 

Where do I book (or 
Where is the booking-office) 
for Richmond, please? 



153 

here mvself. You'd (i. e. 
You had) better ask a 
policeman. 

Well, let me see. You 
are still some way off, at 
least 5 minutes' walk. 

About half an hour, I 
should say. You'd better 
take a penny 'bus, Sir. 

Very sorry, I'm not quite 
sure which. Sir. I don't 
know this part. 

You'll (i. e. You will) have 
to s:et down at the Holborn 
Restaurant, Sir. 

The first window to 
your left. Sir. You'll see 
it written up. 



On receiving the desired information, you say 
"Thank you", or "Much obliged", or "Many 
thanks", or "Thanks". 



XXII. 
The Environs of London. 

Within easy reach of London there are plenty 
of pleasure resorts character isefi by the beauty 
of their scenery. River trips on the Thames are 
a favourite source of pleasure. The most interesting 
places are the following: Ke7v Gardens, celebrated 
for the Palm House, Tropical House, and Water- 
Lily House. — Richmond, the loveliest of all the 
spots around London, with one of the finest 



, „ - XXII. The Environs of I^ondon, 

parks in the Kingdom, abounding with deer. — 
Twickenham, opposite Richmond, with its histor- 
ical associations. — Bushy Park, celebrated for 
a long (horse-)chestnut avenue which in June 
affords a sight of unequalled beauty. — Hampton 
Court, with a red brick palace, very fine gardens, 
and a large park well stocked with deer. The 
palace contains a fine collection of paintings, 
chiefly portraits. The maze or lab3Tinth near 
the palace is very amusing, as it is by no means 
easy to find one's way out. — A good way further 
up the Thames, about 20 miles (over 30 kilometres) 
from London, in the midst of very picturesque 
scenery, is Windsor Castle, a magnificent residence 
of the King. A very large park is attached to 
Windsor Castle. — Opposite Windsor, on the left 
bank of the Thames, is Eton, well-known for 
its college, which has turned out a great many 
eminent scholars and statesmen (p. 75). There 
are about 1000 boys, most of them sons of the 
gentry and aristocracy. The Eton junior boys W'Car 
short jackets, broad turn-down collars, and tall hats. 
The most attractive pleasure resort in the 
vSouth of London is the Crystal Palace at Syden- 
ham, which may be reached by train in about 
half-an-hour. On a fine day, especially on the 
August Bank Holiday, it is visited by from 80 to 
100,000 holiday-makers. Railway return tickets, 
including admission, are issued at the chief London 
stations (3 rd class i /6). The Palace consists entirely 
of glass and iron, and is about 1600 feet (500 



I 



XXII. The Environs of London. ^55 

metres) long and ftiore than 300 feet broad. The 
two towers, one at each end of the building, are 
282 feet in height. The interior of the Palace 
contains all sorts of curiosities, large concert halls, 
a theatre, shops, refreshment rooms, numerous 
"Courts" exhibiting the various styles of architec- 
ture (ch = k), &c., &c. The gardens and grounds 
belonging to the Palace afford every facility for all 
sorts of games and pastimes. Swings, round-abouts 
(or merry-go-rounds), a switch-back railway, a 
topsy-turvy railway, a water-chute, and many 
other attractions are to be found there. By 
the Great Pond, numerous full-size models of 
antediluvian animals are of special interest. Every 
Thursday and Saturday evening, in summer, a great 
display of fireworks takes place. — To the North- 
West of London, at a short distance from Harrow, 
there is Wembley Park, with large pleasure-grounds 
and an unfinished copy of the Paris Eiffel Tower 
(they have only reached the first platform). — A 
favourite resort of holiday-makers is Hampstead 
Heath, an open space of wild and irregular beauty 
in the North of London. In clear weather, it 
commands a superb view of London and of the 
country from Windsor to Gravesend near the 
mouth of the Thames. — The only large forest 
near London is Epping Forest, which lies to the 
N.E. (North-East). It is a popular place for picnic 
parties, and the magnificent beech-trees on 
"High Beach" were a favourite haunt of Alfred 
Tennyson, the late poet-laureate (1809 to 1892). 



I r ^ XXIII. In the Country. 

XXIII. 

In the Country. 

I am very fond of country-life, and as a rule 
spend my summer holidays at a farm belonging 
to my aunt; she lives in a village which is about 
ten miles from my native town. The people of 
the village are called villagers. Most of them 
are small cultivators who have only one or two 
fields of a few acres which they cultivate (or work) 
in conjunction with another ^business. Some of 
them, for instance, are bakers, others butchers, 
wheelwrights, joiners, blacksmiths, shoemakers, 
carters, quarry-men, stone-breakers, &c. 

The village itself has no regular streets. It 
consists in fact of a number of cottages and 
houses which line each side of the road called 
"The Street". We also find a few larger houses, 
viz., the parsonage (or rectory), the doctor's 
residence, and the village inn. A steeple, with its 
clock, at once indicates the village church, and the 
plot of ground in which it is enclosed is the 
cemetery (or church-yard). Then there is a club, an 
elementary school, a post-office, and several shops. 
My aunt lives in a very fine mansion which is 
beautifulh' situated in its own loveh^ grounds. 

Country people lead a rather monotonous life. 
They work hard from dawn till dusk (from morn- 
ing till night). They eat plain but wholesome 
food: home-made bread, butter, potatoes, vege- 
tables, and bacon; beef or mutton are regcirded 



XXII. In the Country. 1 57 

as a Sunday treat. Besides the cries of oxen, cows, 
goats, sheep, geese and dogs, and the rolling of 
carts, there is little noise to be heard as a rule. 

In spite of the quiet, and the apparent monot- 
ony, I always feel very comfortable and happy at 
my aunt's: for me there is plenty of variety. Now 
and then, I do some gardening, or my cousin 
Jack who is about twice as old as I am (or 
twice my age) — takes me with him when he goes 
out trout-fishing or shooting (hares, partridges). 
Sometimes we go together for a drive in a pony- 
trap, and see after the labourers on the farm. 
My aunt, you know, has several capital horses, 
a pony, and all sorts of animals which are a 
source of much amusement to me. She keeps 
dogs and cats (to catch mice and rats), a donkey 
(or an ass), oxen, cows, sheep, goats, pigs, rabbits, 
pigeons, poultry (as geese, ducks, swans, cocks, 
hens, chickens, turkeys), bees (in bee-hives), a fox, 
a squirrel, and a splendid peacock, which has 
beautiful plumage, but a very harsh voice. 

The garden attached to my aunt's house is 
very large, and enclosed by a fine hedge. There 
are three gardens in one, so to speak, viz., an 
orchard, a kitchen-garden, and a flower-garden. 
It has gravel walks, lawns, hot-houses, a summer- 
house, an arbour, and benches. The orchard is 
planted with strawberries, gooseberries, raspberries, 
currants, and all sorts of fruit-trees. In the kitchen- 
garden, vegetables (asparagus, cabbage, cauHflower, 
turnips, carrots, cucumbers, onions, beans, peas, 



Kron, The Little Londoner. 8. 



I 5 8 XXTII. In the Country. 

celery, lettuce, cress, [horse-]radishes, spinach, pars- 
ley, pumpkins, and others) are grown. The/iower- 
garden is simply lovely: several flower-beds with 
any amount of fragrant flowers, primroses, forget- 
me-nots, lilies of the valley, snow-drops, hyacinths, 
tulips, crocuses, lilac, violets, pansies, roses, pinks 
(or carnations), dahlias, asters, stocks (or gillyflowers), 
geraniums, heliotrope, chrysanthemums, &c., are to 
be seen there. There is also a fountain with carp 
and gold-fish in the middle of the flower-garden. 
Not far from the village are larg^e woods 
(with big old oaks and beeches), and extensive 
pastures watered by murmuring brooks full of 
trout. In the woods I have found several bird's- 
nests with little eggs in them; I have often 
listened to the sweet song of the singing-birds 
(nightingales, blackbirds, thrushes, finches, robins, 
&c.), and to the cuckoo (without ever seeing it), 
which has the habit of carrying its eggs to the 
nests of other birds, and leaving them there to be 
hatched. Game of various kinds (deer, hares, pheas- 
ants, partridges), rabbits, foxes, badgers, hedgehogs, 
venomous snakes, toads, hawks, magpies, and owls 
I have also come across on my rambles; but 
beasts of prey are unknown in these parts. 

Cries of Animals. Bears grunt. Bees hum. 
Blackbirds pipe. Canaries sing. Cats mew (or miaw), 
and purr. Cattle (oxen, cows, calves) low. Cocks 
crow. Crickets chirp. Crows caw. Dogs bay, bark, 
snarl or growl, howl, whine, yelp or yap. Donkeys 
bray. Ducks quack. Flies and gnats buzz. Frogs 
croak. Geese cackle. Goats bleat. Hens cackle, and 



XXIII. In the Counliy. I5g 

cluck. Horses neigh. Insects hum. Lambs bleat. 
Lions roar. Magpies and monkeys chatter. Mice 
squeak. Nightingales sing, and warble. Owls hoot. 
Pigeons coo. Pigs grunt. Ravens croak. Sheep bleat. 
Snakes and serpents hiss. Sparrows twitter. Stags 
bell. Storks clatter. Tigers growl. Turkeys gobble. 
Wolves howl. 

The winter months are a time of comparative 
rest for the farmers; these do indoor work then. 
But early in spring, the meadows must be 
cleared of stones, and, if necessary, manured. The 
fields are ploughed (with a plough), harrowed 
(with a harrow), and the seed is sown. Mean- 
while, the meadows turn (or grow) green, 
and many flowers, such as daisies, bell-flowers 
(or harebells, the Scottish "blue-bells"), buttercups, 
forget-me-nots, cowslips, &c., make their appearance. 

In June, haymaking begins. Early in the 
morning, the grass is mown with a scythe or a 
mower (or mowing-machine drawn by horses), 
and spread thinly over the ground, to dry in 
the sun. It is turned several times with rakes 
or forks, and, before sunset, made up into cocks 
(or small heaps). Next morning, the hay is 
spread out again, and, as a rule, brought in (or 
stored) on the second day. In September there 
is a second crop of hay, called aftermath. 

We now find that the grain crops, first barley 
and rye, afterwards wheat and oats, have ripened, 
and harvest time is come. The corn (or grain) 
is cut either with a scythe or sickle, or with a 
reaping-machine; it is formed into sheaves and 



l6o XXIV. The British Empire. 

shocks, and, as soon as these are perfectly dry, 
loaded upon carts or waggons, and taken to the 
barn, or piled up in covered stacks (or ricks) in 
the field. Before being made into bread, the 
corn is thrashed (formerly with a flail, now by 
machinery), winnowed (i. e. the chaff is separated 
from it), dried, put into sacks, and sent to the 
mill, where it is ground into flour. The baker 
and pastry-cook then make bread and pastry of 
it. The straw is utiHsed as litter, and as food 
for horses and cattle. The root-crops — potatoes, 
turnips, beets (or beet-roots), and carrots — are 
gathered in about the end of September. 

XXIV. 
The British Empire. 

Geographical and Industrial Sketch. - The 
British Empire (i. e. the British Isles, and the 
Colonies) is the largest Empire on the face of the 
globe. The sun never sets upon it. Its area is 
above i \\ million square miles, or nearly 30 
million sq. kilometres, i. e. one-fifth of all the land 
on the globe. Its total population numbers 410 
millions, i. c. t of the inhabitants of the world; 
i3i% 3-''6 whites, 86i°/o coloured people. The 
largest Colonial Possessions of the British Em- 
pire are the Dominion of Canada, Australia, the 
Indian Empire, and South Africa (Cape Colony, 
Rhodesia, the Transvaal, Orange River Colony). 

And yet the mother-country, the United King- 



XXIV. The British Empire. j ^ j 

dom (U. K.), which rules this vast Empire, is but 
one-hundredth part of the Empire itself; it is even 
smaller than the Kingdom of Prussia. Tn 1907, 
the population amounted to about 44 millions. 

The United Kingdom consists of numerous 
islands lying to the West of the European Con- 
tinent, of which it is a mere continuation, and 
formed part, thousands of years ago. If Cologne 
Cathedral (which is 520 feet or 159 metres high) 
were put down in the middle of the English 
Channel, nearly two thirds of it would be clear 
of the water. At the Straits of Dover, the Channel 
is 22 miles (= 40 kilometres) across (or broad). 

The numerous small islands (about a thousand) 
which along with Great Britain and Ireland (the 
•'Emerald Isle") constitute the British Isles, are 
scattered about off the West and North coasts 
of Scotland. Great Britain is the largest island 
in Europe, and nearly 3 times as large as Ireland. 
It is 700 miles (or about 1 125 kilom.) long, meas- 
ured from "John o'Groat's to Land's End", i. e. 
from the most northerly building ("John o'Groat's 
House" near Duncansby Head) to the extreme 
South West (a promontory called "Land's End"). 
Its greatest breadth (360 miles = 580 kilom.) is from 
Land's End to Lowestoft, the most easterly point. 

Great Britain includes England, Wales, and 
Scotland. Ireland was conquered by the English 
in 1 172, and Wales in 1282. Scotland and Eng- 
land were united in 1603. Taking the size (or 
area) of Wales as i (one unit), that of Scotland 



J At XXIV. The British Empire. 

would be 4, of Ireland 4I, and of England 7. 
Speaking generally, the surface of England and 
Ireland is flat (or level), that of Scotland and 
Wales hilly (or mountainous). 

The coast-line of Great Britain is much indent- 
ed, and thus furnishes excellent harbours (or 
ports). It is interesting to find that the best har- 
bours lie almost in the same parallel of latitude, 
e. g. Glasgow-Edinburgh, Liverpool-Hull, Bristol- 
London. The chief rivers are all that commer- 
cial rivers ought to be — navigable, slow in current, 
with broad mouths and high tides, but without 
bars (or sand-banks). 

A dense network of railways, good roads, 
and long canals facilitate(s) the home trade. 

Owing to the discovery of vast coal-fields in 
England and Wales, and to the application of 
steam as the motive force for machinery, agriculture 
has during the last hundred years gradually lost 
in importance. The two chief manufactures 
of England are textiles (cotton and wool) and 
hardware (iron). Manchester it the cotton capital 
("Cottonopolis"), Liverpool, the cotton port. Leeds 
and Bradford are the chief seats of the woollen 
manufacture. The chief town for hardware manu- 
facture is Birmingham. Sheffield produces enormous 
quantities of very fine cutlery and plated goods. 
There are also large iron and steel works, as at 
Wolverhampton, and at Newcastle-(up)on-Tyne 
(here the late Lord Armstrong's gun-foundry). 
The iron and other metals (lead, tin, copper, 



V. The British Empire. I 6 3 

zinc) which are required in the English works, 
are found in considerable quantities, especially in 
the Midland Counties; but various raw materials 
(cotton, wool, timber, &c.) are imported. The chief 
exports are cotton and woollen tissues, iron and 
steel manufactures, machinery, coal, hardware, 

England is the country of great cities and large 
towns. In 1907 there were in the U. K. 47 towns 
with a population of more than 100,000 inhabitants, 
and 5 over half-a-million, viz., London, Glasgow, 
Liverpool, Manchester, and Birmingham. 

The English are very particular about the 
words city and towit, and make a clear distinction 
betw^een them. A city is a town which either 
has a city-charter granted to it by the King, 
or is (or has been) the see (or seat) of a bishop, 
and thus has a cathedral. Leeds, the sixth town 
in England, for example, has no cathedral; some 
time ago, however, it received a royal charter, 
and was thus raised to the rank of a city. 
Canterbury and York, though comparatively small, 
are cities inasmuch as they have cathedrals 
(Canterbury Cathedral, and York Minster). In 
America all large towns are called cities. 

Constitution. — The British Empire is an he- 
reditary monarchy ruled by a Sovereign, who at 
his death is succeeded by his eldest son or, in 
default of male heirs, by his eldest daughter; or, 
in default of such, by the next-of-kin. The present 
Sovereign is King Edivard VII., born on the 
9th of November, 1841. He succeeded to the 



164 XXIV. The British Empire. 

throne on the 22nd of January, 1901, on the death 
of his mother, Queen Victoria. King Edward is 
'A^o Emperor of India; his mother adopted the title 
of Empress of India in 1877. Since the year 1301, 
the English heir-apparent has been called "Prince 
of Wales"; but the "Principality of Wales" is not 
actually ruled by him, nor has he the revenues of it. 

Besides the Sovereign, there is a Parliament, 
the chief function of which is to make laws. The 
British Parliament consists of two Houses, the 
Upper House, or Hotise of Lords, and the Lower 
House, or House of Covimons. The sovereignty 
is vested in these two houses together with the 
King, but the real power is in the hands of the 
Cabinet which consists of the chief Alinisters who 
are chosen from the leading party. The Cabinet 
has almost unlimited powers, and the Ministers are 
responsible to Parliament for the management of 
public affairs. "The King can do no wrong". 

The House of Lords consists of Spiritual Lords 
and Temporal Peers — nearly (or close upon) 600 
in all. The chairman, or president, is the Lord 
High Chancellor; during the deliberations, he sits 
on the "woolsack", a large seat covered with red 
cloth, and without back or arms. 

The House of Commons numbers 670 members 
(called M.P.'s, i. e. Members of Parliament); they 
are elected by ballot (or secret vote), and must 
be over 2 1 years of age. General elections take place 
once every 7 years. The "Speaker" acts as chairman 
(or president) of the Commons. While the House 



XXIV. The British Empire. I 65 

is sitting, the Mace, as a symbol of power, lies on 
the Table of the House. M. P.'s are not paid. 

The strongest political parties in the House 
of Commons are the Liberals (mostly advanced 
Radicals, advocating "peace, retrenchment, and 
reform"), and the Conservatives (or Tories, or 
Unionists, resolved to preserve the unity of the 
Kingdom, and opposing radical reforms). In igo6, 
the Liberal Party came into power again by 
winning 60 per cent, of all seats (400 out of 670), 
whereas the Conservative Party polled only i\°\o\ 
12% of the M. P.'s are Nationalists (struggling 
for Irish home-rule or self-government), and 
4°/o belong" to the Labour Party (consisting of 
bona fide working-men). 

Most of the larger Colonial Possessions have 
their own Parliaments and Governors to represent 
the King. The Indian Empire, however, is partly 
under direct British rule, and partly under vassal 
princes. In India, the Emperor is represented by a 
Viceroy or Governor-General residing at Calcutta. 

Subdivisions and Administration. — For the 
purpose of administration, the U. K. is divided into 
1 1 7 counties, most of which are also called shires 
(i. e. shares, portions, parts, a name still found in 
many county names, e. g-. Worcestershire, &c.). E^lch 
county is administered by the Lord Lieutenant 
(who keeps the county archives or records), and 
the Sheriff (to whom the execution of the law is 
entrusted) assisted by a number of Mx\^^-dx^ Justices of 
the Peace (J.P.'s), who are not necessarily barristers. 



lf)f) XXIV. The British Empire. 

There is, besides, a County Council consisting- 
of a Chairman, Aldermen, and Councillors. The 
County Council controls the business of the 
county so far as it concerns roads, the police, 
education, public health, and general welfare. 

Many of the larger towns of each county 
have their own independent administrative au- 
thorities, or Corporations, generally known as 
Town (City or Borough) Couficils. Such a Corpo- 
ration consists of the Mayor, Aldermen, and 
(Common) Councillors, and manages the purely 
local matters (or concerns) of the town. 

¥ or Jurisdiction, the whole country is divided 
into some 50 districts, each of which has a County 
Court. In a law-suit, each of the two parties as 
a rule has its solicitor to conduct its case at 
the County Court. Solicitors are not allowed to 
plead before (or in) a High Court. They only 
prepare the case, and instruct a barrister to bring 
it before the Court. The barrister is a lawyer 
"called to the Bar", i. e. one who is permitted to 
plead before the judges; the instruction he receives 
from the solicitor is called a "brief". There are 
a great many "briefless barristers" (that is, bar- 
risters without clients). Solicitors transact business 
with their clients directly, barristers never do. 

Very complicated law-suits (or cases) are tried 
again before the "Supreme Court of Judicature", 
or even before the highest Court of Appeal, 
the House of Lords. 

To lend an air of gravity to the proceedings, 



XXIV. The British Empire. I 67 

the English lawyer wears a black gown, and a 
grey wig with curls. Solicitors wear no wig. 

In cities and towns, there is moreover a Police 
Court. Here minor offences against the law 
(e. g. drunkenness, begging, assault, larceny) are 
dealt with by judges officially called magistrates. 

Persons found guilty are conveyed to gaol (or 
jail, or prison) in a closed carriage, colloquially 
called the "Black Maria". 

Flags. — The national flag of the United 
Kingdom is the so-called Union Jack, which 
combines on a blue ground the crosses of St. 
George (the patron saint of England: a red cross in 
the centre, with a narrow white border), St. Andrew 
(the patron saint of Scotland: a white cross in the 
four corners), and St. Patrick (the patron saint 
of Ireland: a red cross with a narrow white 
border, in the corners). The "Union Jack" is 
flown ashore, and at the bowsprit of war-vessels. 

The white etisign flown by zvar-ships is St. 
George's flag with the "Union Jack" in the left- 
hand top corner. 

The red ensign flown by merchant vessels 
has three quarters red, and one quarter filled 
with the "Union Jack". 

The national flag of the United States of 
America — • the so-called star-spangled banner, 
or stars and stripes — is for one-sixth occupied 
by a bhie square showing over forty white stars 
(one for each State); the remainder of the flag 
is alternately covered with (7) red and (6) white 



J <" Q XXV. Army and Navy. 

stripes representing the 13 States of which the 
Union consisted at the time of its establishmeni: 
in 1776, on the 4th of July.] 

XXV. 

Army and Navy. 

Nowadays, large countries cannot dispense 
with military forces for their defence, otherwise 
greedy neighbours would soon swallow them up. 
The International Peace Conference held at the 
Hague, in 1899, has not brought about a change 
in this respect. 

The general trend of opinion, however, appears 
to be that international questions at issue might 
be settled amicably (or by friendly arrangement) 
before an international court of arbitration, provided 
that both interested parties were imbued (or 
animated) with a desire to maintain peace. It is 
to be feared that this will seldom be the case; 
thus wise nations will do well to act on the 
principle: "If you wish for peace, prepare for war". 

Army.'' — The service in the British (and in the 
United States') army is voluntary. Young men 
who seek employment after a run of bad luck in 
other calHngs engage by free choice (or of their 
own free will) to serve in the regular army for 
a definite number of years. The conditions on 

I The Salvation Army is an international religious sect 
organised in 1861 by "General" Booth. All Salvationists (sol- 
diers and officers) wear a uniform. The S. A. fully deserves 
to have been characterised as "corybantic Christianity". 



XXV. Army and Navy. j ^q 

which young men of iS years of age and upwards 
can join (or enhst in) His Majesty's regular forces 
are supplied free at any post-office. Moreover, 
"recruiting sergeants" are on the look out for 
young men able and willing to join the standing 
army. In London, recruiting sergeants may be 
found in St. Martin's Place, near the National 
Gallery. 

Every private (or common soldier), even the 
raw recruit, receives i j. a day in the infantry, and 
up to I J. g d. in the cavalry. He also gets i lb. 
of bread, and — lb. of meat a day. When he proves 
a good soldier, he can rise to the rank of a sergeant- 
major — the highest non-commissioned (or warrant) 
officer — and then his daily pay is between 5 and 
6 s. The commissio7ied officers, too, are far better 
paid than in the continental armies; their ranks 
are: second lieutenant, lieutenant, captain, major, 
lieutenant-colonel, colonel, major-general (or bri- 
gadier-general), lieutenant-general, general. They 
are addressed as "Sir". The commander-in-chief is 
as a rule a field-marshal. 

Generally speaking, the .^ank and file (i. e. 
privates and non-commissioned officers) are more 
or less looked down upon by the English public. 
The only exception are the household troops 
(regiments of the guard); as the "crack regiments" 
they are very popular. The (commissioned) 
officers — who usually go in mufti (i. e. in plain 
clothes) when off duty — occupy a good position 
in society. "Tommy (Atkins)" (i. e. the foot soldier) 



»«(-. XXV. Army and Navy. 

carries hi.s bayonet only when on duty; otherwise 
he walks about the streets with a switch or cane 
(a "swaggerstick") in his hand. 

Strange as it may seem, the British Sovereign 
cannot claim a right to keep a standing army in 
time of peace. Every year the formal consent 
has to be given in Parliament; otherwise, the 
British army would cease to exist. 

Besides the regular army, Great Britain has 
an army reserve consisting of former regular 
soldiers (or regulars); this reserve is only called 
out (or called to arms) when war is impending. 

The different services are the in/antry, cavalry, 
artillery, and cngifieers. An army corps has 
several divisions, a division has 2 brigades, a 
brigade 2 or 3 regiments. A regiment is generally 
composed of 2 — 4 battalions of regulars divided 
into companies (infantry), of 4 or 5 squadrons 
(cavalry, viz., dragoons, hussars, lancers), or of 
batteries (artillery, 6 guns each). Every regiment 
has its baiid (a bandmaster and bandsmen). 

The English infantry uniform is a scarlet coat 
(hence the nickname "lobster"), and black trousers 
with red cord stripes down the side; some 
regiments wear dark blue or green. In time of 
war, khaki is now worn. The eqtiipment consists 
of a rifle, a bayonet with tassel and scabbard 
fastened round the waist by means of a leather 
belt, a cartridge box or belt for cartridges (either 
ball cartridges, or blank cartridges with a charge 
of smokeless powder). Most troopers (or cavalry 



XXV. Army and Navy. T ~ T 

soldiers) are equipped with lances. The Horse- 
Guards wear a cuirass. 

Soldiers, in addition, often carry a knapsack 
with a rolled cloak (or big coat) and a camp- 
kettle (or canteen) over it, a haversack, and a 
flask, — They are drilled in drill-grounds or 
drill-sheds, and have to mounl guard and stand 
sentry from time to time. Sometimes the regi- 
ments have to pass in review. 

The soldiers live together in barracks in dif- 
ferent garrisons. About day-break, the reveille 
is sounded by buglers or drummers for the troops 
to g'et up; every evening the bugle or drum retreat 
(or tattoo) calls them to bed. Sometimes a gar- 
rison is alarmed by its commander-in-chief, and has 
then to assemble at the appointed meeting-place. 
The mancruvres , which are held every year, 
consist of sham-fights, and are intended to make 
(or get) the troops used to the hardships of prac- 
tical warfare. Then the soldiers may have to bivouac 
^. e. encamp in the open air during the night). 

The Royal Military College at Sandhurst (in 
Berks.) prepares young men between 17 and 22 
for the career of commissioned officers in the 
infantry and cavalry. After a 3 year's stay and 
a successful examination, they are appointed (or 
receive a commission as) officers. Young men 
who have chosen the artillery or engineers, are 
educated at the Royal Military Academy at Wool- 
wich; here they must stay for about 3 years 
before getting a commission. — Officers who show 



I~2 XXV. Army and Navy. 

particular aptitude may take the advanced courses 
at the Staff College of Camherley (near Sandhurst), 
where tactics and military history, fortification, 
topography, and modern languages are taught. 

More than 500,000 effective members of the 
British army are a kind of amateur soldiers who 
have never served in the regular army. These 
are the militia, and the volunteers. They cannot, 
against their will, be sent out of the country; they 
are there to defend it in case of invasion, according 
to the volunteers' motto "Defence, not Defiance". 

The Militia (about 145,000 effective men) is 
raised by voluntary recruiting in the counties. 
It assembles every year for 4 weeks' training, and 
every militiaman then gets a "bounty" of ^ i. 
Those on horseback are called the Yeomanry^ 
(Cavalry) [28,000 effective men]; they provide 
their own horses. The Volunteers, often called 
"citizen soldiers" (about 340,000 effective men), are 
classified according to counties. Each corps has 
attached to it an "adjutant" (a captain or major), 
and a staff of drill sergeants from the regular 
army. The volunteers attend a certain number 
of drills in the year; most of them also go into 
camp (near Aldershot, &c.), and, at Easter or in 
August, have a taste of regular military discipline. 
They are equipped by Government, but receive 
no pay. They are noted for their shooting; 

I The Yeoynen of the Guard, ' officers and about 150 yeomen 
armed with partisans (or halberds), and dressed in the uniform 
of the 16th century, are His Majesty's Body Guard. 



XXV. Army and Navy. ll T, 

every year a rifle-meeting is held at Bisley in 
vSurrey (the "Bisley Meeting") where the crack 
shots (or crack marksmen) compete for the "King's 
Prize" {/! 250) and numerous other prizes. 

Cadet Battalions \i2iWQ. also become very popular 
in most of the large public-schools within recent 
years. Their instructors may be soldiers of the 
regular army or gentlemen acquainted with mili- 
tary training. Drill is held weekly, and a review 
every year. In summer each corps goes into 
camp (or has a "field-day"). The uniform of such 
a "cadet" is the same as that of the volunteer 
corps to which his company is attached. 

In many elementary schools there are Boys' 
Brigades intended to foster military spirit. 

Every soldier carries in his knapsack the 
marshal's bato7t. 

Navy. — To the navy Great Britain owes her 
wealth, and her enormous colonial possessions. 
The recruitment is voluntary as in the army, but 
"Jack (Tar)" is (or the blue-jackets, i. e. seamen, 
or sailors, are) in much higher esteem with the 
general public than "Tommy (Atkins)". All ranks 
are very well paid. Some sailors wear ear-rings 
as a doubtful remedy for weak eyes. 

Every man-of-war (or war-ship, war-vessel) 
has several officers, and a crew. The officers are: 
a captain, a commander, and several lieutenants. 
The rear-admiral, vice-admiral, admiral, and ad- 
miral of the fleet are called. Jfag-o/ficers. — The 
cretv consist(s) of warrant officers, petty officers, 

K r o n , The Little Londoner. 8. 12 



I "7^ XXV. Army and Navy. 

A. B.'s (i. e. able-bodied seamen), ordinary seamen, 
and boys. One -sixth of the crew are Royal 
Marines, i. e. artillery and infantry soldiers in the 
navy; they supply the guards and sentries on board 
ship. Then there are stokers, and a great variety 
of artificers (carpenters, blacksmiths, &c.). 

The officers are very carefully trained. Before 
being appointed lieutenants, they must have been 
naval cadets and midsJiipmen (colloq.: middies). 

The British navy comprises numerous vessels 
of various classes, viz., strongly armoured battle- 
ships (colloquially called ironclads, having an armour 
deck and an armour belt), (armoured) cruisers, 
(armoured) gunboats, and (unprotected) scouts, 
torpedo-boat destroyers, torpedo-boats, submarines, 
training-ships, &c. 4 or 5 large vessels form a 
divisiofi, several divisions are a squadron, several 
squadrons, a fleet. h\ 1907, the number of officers, 
warrant officers, petty officers, seamen, boys, and 
Royal Marines was about 120,000; the total 
expenditure was ^32 millions. 

England expects every man will do his duty! 
(Nelson at Trafalgar, October 21, 1805). 

The navies of the other Great Powers are less 
imposing than the British navy. France ranks 
second, whereas the strength of the German nav}^ 
is only \ of that of the British naval forces. 

The object of all navies is, to protect their 
countries' mercantile marine, to maintain their 
colonial possessions and their prestige (or moral 
influence) in the world. 



XXVI. English as it is Spoken. I " < 

XXVI. 
English as it is Spoken. 

The "King's Eng-Hsh", as we find it in serious 
books, and hear it from the pulpit or in a lecture 
room, is free from the eccentricities of language 
in which every-day speech abounds. The better 
a man is educated, the more he will make a 
point of expressing his wishes, ideas, and opinions 
in standard English ^ But this class of people 
being comparatively srnaU in number, a knowledge 
of the language spoken by the middle classes 
and, to a certain extent, by the lower orders, is 
essential to any one coming into contact with the 
average Englishman. Now, the spoken English 
contains a great many words and phrases which 
are hable to be used wrongly by the foreigner. 
In the following pages some of these elements 
of every-day speech (or talk) will be dealt with. 

I. Colloquial English. 
Modern English comedies and novels are capital 
sources for the study of colloquial English as it 
is spoken in ordinary conversation between well- 
bred Englishmen. A striking feature is its tendency 
to drop inflections. Thus we frequently find the 
interrogative pronoun who? instead of whom? 
as: Who do you take me for? Who does this 

I It is impossible to designate any one portion of Great 
Britain as that in which the best English is spoken. In point 
of fact, the dialect spoken by educated Londoners is slowly but 
steadily gaining ground at the expense of the country dialects. 

12* 



I 76 XXVI. English as it is Spoken. (Colloquial English.) 

book belong to? W/w do 3^011 mean? The personal 
pronouns /, /le, she, 7ue, they are often supplanted 
by their objective forms, e. g.: It's me, it was him 
(tier, 21s, them). The comparison of adjectives by 
means of more and most often yields— even in the 
case of adjectives of more than two syllables— to that 
by means of -er a-nd-est, for instance: agreeabler, 
-est, comfortahler, -est, &e. The forms crueller, 
-est, pleasantcr , -est, handsomer , -est, stupider, 
-est, wickeder, -est are usual, and quite correct. 

The following colloquialisms are in common use. 
About (almost, all but, nearly): inv letter is about 
Jinislied ; mv nc[>hew is much about (ver}' nearly) 7ny 
size; all round (in every respect, all things considered): 
he is a decent felloiv all round ; a\vful(ly) (very, ex- 
ceedingly): she's an aivfid(ly) pretty girl. 

Beer: he thinks no small beer of himself (he has a 
high opinion of himself); it is not all beer and skittles 
(it is not all fun or enjoyment, it is more difficult 
than it seems to be); a bit (a little); blue (sad, 
melancholy): to look blue; to be in (or to have) the blues 
(to be melancholy); to get the blues (to become melan- 
choly); a blue-jacket (a sailor); to bolt (run away); 
a big boom (puffing); a bore (tedious fellow or thing): 
to bore (to annoy, trouble); bosh (nonsense); boss 
(master, manager, head man): he is the boss of the shoiv 
('or, American: of the shanty) (he is the chief personage); 
bother (annoyance, nuisance): ivhat a bother!; bother 
It (confound it)! / shan't bother (not trouble) about 
that; botheration take it (confound it)! to bounce 
(to brag, bluster); he's a bounce (a braggart); a 
bounder (a loud and vulgar fellow); a bowler (page 
46, note); a brick (a capital fellow); Brother Jonathan 
(nickname for an American) ; a bruiser (a good 
boxer, prize-fighter); Bull: John Bull (current nickname 



XXVI. English as it is Spoken. (Colloquial English.) I " 

for an Englishman); a bus (an omnibus); button: the 
buttons (a boy -servant wearing a jacket with bright 
buttons); he is one button short, or he has (got) a button 
loose (he is not quite sane). 

Cabby (cabdriver); a cad (a mean or brutal fellow); 
caddish (mean): a caddish trick; to cadge (to beg from 
one's friends): he cadges tobacco: a cadger (parasite); 
call (need, necessity, occasion, right): there's no rail to 
be afraid; capital (excellent, first-rate); chalk: he can't 
do it by a long cliall^ (not by a, long wa}-); cham 
(pronounce sliavi : champagne); a chap (fellow): hoiv 
are you, old chap (old friend)?; cheek (impudence): 1 
don't zvant any of your cheek! What check that jelloiv has 
got! cheeky (impudent, saucy): a checkv fello7v or boy ; 
a high cockalorum (a self-sufficient, conceited fellow); 
cocksure (over-sure); a copper (a penny); a crank 
(an eccentric person); a crib (key, translation to aid 
students); cross (angry); he's a crosspatch (a grumbler, 
an ill-natured person); to cut a person (pretend not 
to see him); to cut a person out (to outwit him); 
to cut a lecture (to shirk or miss it). 

Dad (father) ; dashing (stylish, smart): he's a dashing 
felloiv; dear: oh dear (me) (oh Heavens)!; J declare 
(I assure you): von are a regular swell, I declare (indeed); 
a deer-stalker (a bash hat, page 47, note); Dick 
(Richard); up to Dick (clever; very elegantly dressed); 
dickens = ^fo^<:Y (see page 184); do: to do a person 
(to deceive, cheat him); to do a toivn or country (tcj 
visit its curiosities); dog: to go to the dogs (to go to 
rack and ruin); he's an artfid dog (sly), a Jolly dog 
(gay), a lucky dog (he has great luck), a sneaking dog 
(mean), an old dog at it (he knows what he is about); 
dotty (mad, silly): he has gone dotty; he's a dotty felloiv; 
a duffer (a stupid and awkward fellow, a dunce). 

Enemy (time): how goes the enemy (what o'clock is it)? 

A fad (a hobbv, a favourite pursuit); he's a bit 
faddy (peculiar); fast (extravagant, emancipated): she 



178 XXVI. English as it is Spoken. (Colloquial English.) 

is a little hit fast in licr manticrs and speech; to fetch 
(to attract, charm, captivate, fascinate): a fetching girl; 
to look fetching; a fib (a little falsehood, a white lie); 
a fibber (liar); fiddle-de-dee, or fiddlesticks (nonsense, 
humbug, p.sha\v)!; a fidget: ichat a fidget you are 
(what a fidgety, nervous person you are)!; finicking, 
or finicky (finical, over-particular, affectedly fine in 
language, manners, and dres.s); fishy (doubtful): this 
seems (or looks) rather fishy (suspicious); it's a fishv 
(dubious) story, that; fit (ready, on the point of): I felt 
fit to cry; a fiver (a £^ note); to floor (to answer 
satisfactorily; to knock down): I shall floor the examination 
paper; he has been floored (has been plucked at thfe 
examination, has not satisfied his examiners); 1 floored 
him (knocked him down) ivith a blorv ; flush: / am 
flush again (I have plenty of money again); an old 
fogey (an old-fashioned man, peculiar in his dress or 
habits); a froggy (or frog-eater, a Frenchman); a frost 
(no success, a failure, a sell); a fuss (a bustle in small 
matters): to make a great fuss about . . . 

Gab (mouth): that fclloiv has (got) the gift of the 
gab (talks a great deal, is very loquacious); gammon 
(nonsense, humbug): it is not all gammon (and spinach) 
(it is not altogether nonsense); a gilded youth (a rich 
young fellow, a Johnny); this go (this time); it's a fine 
go (ironically: a pretty affair); to go (lo turn): to go 
mad, green, ivild, stale, grey, &'c.; goggles (spectacles); 
the G. O. M. (Grand Old Man, viz., W. E. Gladstone, 
1809 — 1898); the governor (head, Ijoss; father); to 
grind (to work, study); Mrs. Grundy ([niblic opinion): 
don't do that ! icliat ivill (or ivonldj A/rs. Grundy say? 
J don't care a hang (a bit) for Airs. Grundv : a gutter- 
snipe (a street-arab, street-boy or girl). 

Half-seas-over (tipsy, a little drunk); an halloo- 
girl (telephone girl); to handicap (to hinder, hamper, 
embarrass); hard up (without money or resources, penni- 
less, in a fi.x); a hiding (a sound thrashing); to hook 



XXVI. English as it is Spoken. (Colloquial English.) I 7 Q 

it = /<? take one's hook (to take to flight); a Hooligan 
(a gang of East End street ruffians who molest and 
terrorise people); my hubby (my husband); hum 
(humbug, nonsense); to humbug (to tease, mislead). 

-ish (rather, somewhat): goodish (pretty good), longish 
(rather long). 

Jack (Tar) (a sailor); a Jap (a Japanese); a Jehu 
(a coachman, cab-driver); a Jingo (an English chau- 
vinist); by Jingo (upon my word; I can assure you); 
jolly (merry, capital, excellent); /ir Jove! (I can assure you). 

Kettle: that's a pretty kettle of fisli (a nice state of 
things, a fearful disorder); a kid (child, baby, silly 
boy); killing (very funny in dress or manners): you 
are simply killing! ; he's a killing sivell. (Hence the 
word ladv-killer, a young man in favour with the 
ladies); kink: he's got a kink in the brain (he isn't 
quite sane); to knock about (to go here and there). 

A landlubber (a landsman, as opposed to seaman); 
a lark (a piece of fun): ivasnt it a lark!; to lark (to 
make fun, to play tricks); larky (fond of larks); like 
anything, like beans, like blazes, like old boots, 
like one o'clock (comparisons of intensity meaning, 
as the case may be, very well, very quickly, as well 
as can be, &c.); a lobster (page 170); to be at logger- 
heads (on bad terms, fallen out, at variance) with a 
person; a lot of, or lots of (much, a great many); you 
are a bad lot (a bad fellow, a good-for-nothing). 

To go on the mash (to act the masher) ; to mash 
(to court, make love to): he mashes all the girls; to 
be mashed on (very fond of, in love with); a masher 
(a dandy, swell); mess: / am in a pretty mess noiv 
(in difficulties); you've made a mess of it (spoiled it). 

A nap (a short afternoon sleep); natty (fme, neat, 
spruce, stylish, tidy); niffnaffy (anxiously heedful of 
trifles, finicking, over -particular); nine: dressed up to 
the nines (very elegantly); it is as right as ninepence 
(right to a T, perfectly right); no good (of no avail): 



I 



l8o XXVI. English as it is Spoken. (Colloquial English.) 

it's 710 good (of no use); not half: // ts?i'i half bad 
(it is very good): / do?t'i half like it (not very much); 
not in it with (inferior to): In igo^ the Riissia?is ivere 
iiol in it ivith the Japajiese. 

Old Nick (the devil); an old salt, or an old 
sea-dog (a weather-beaten seaman); on (drunk): to he 
a little on; to have a person on (swindle, do him); 
order: that's a large (or strong) order (that's rather strong). 

P's and Q's: mi?id yonr P's and Q's (be careful); 
Paddy, or Pat, (from St. Patrick; nickname for an 
Irishman); patch: 7iot a patch npoii (not to be compared 
with, inferior to); penny-gaff (page 117); a phone 
(telephone); a photo (photograph); pins (legs); to pitch 
into a person (to run him down, blow him up, give 
it him hot); place: all over the place (or shop); to 
plough, or to pluck (to reject in an examination): 
a friend of tnine -was (or got) ploughed (or plucked) last 
year; to pop (to pawn, pledge); a pop-shop (a pawn- 
broker's shop); pot: to go to pot (to the dogs); a pot- 
hat (page 46, foot); precious (very great): he's a 
precious humbug; prime (excellent); a pub (a public 
house, an ale-house); to pump (sound) a person; 
pushful (go-ahead and energetic). 

Queer (strange, peculiar): J feel a hit queer (I am 
not quite well); to be (lodged) in Queer Street (to be 
hard up for cash, in a fix, penniless). 

Rare (first-rate, excellent, exquisite, capital) ; rattling 
good or fine (very good or fine): A" does a rattling 
good trade (makes a lot of money); regular (downright, 
thorough): he's a regular sivell ; I gave him a regular 
set-down (I gave it him hot, I gave him a piece of 
my mind); rich (very amusing): ivell, that's rich! 
right: / do7i't feel quite 7ight (well) to-day ; he is not 
quite right (sane); that setves him right (he does not 
deserve any better); right to a T (perfectly right); rol- 
licking (very funny, very good); rot (nonsense, rub- 
bish, trash): you talk a lot of rot; a rough (a very 



XXVI. English as it is Spoken. (Colloquial English.) I 8 I 

rude fellow, a bully, a rowdy); rum (queer): he's a 
rum customer; run: to have the run of one's teeth (to 
have free board), of the tap (all drinks free); to run 
into ynoney (to come expensive); to be out of the running 
(to be unsuccessful, not to stand a chance); to be in 
the runntng{xo stand a chance, to be successful). 

Sack: to get (or have) the sack (to be dismissed, 
sent awa}') ; to give the sack to a person = to sack a 
person (to dismiss him); to be (or get) sacked (dismissed); 
salt (see: old); Sandy, or Sawney (from Alexander; 
nickname for a Scotchman); a sell: // ivas a regular 
sell (a delusion, a take-in; rubbish); sheet: to be (or 
have) three sheets in the tvind {io be drunk, tipsy); shop: 
he is all over the shop (everywhere, here and there); 
his books were lying all over the shop (all scattered 
about, in great disorder); to talk shop (talk about one's 
profession in general company); shot: he zvas off like 
a shot (very quickly); shut up! (hold your tongue, 
be silent!); side: to put on side (to a.ssume airs); 
simply (altogether, downright); that^s simply azvful. 
lovelv, marvellous, wonderful; smart: a smart (clever, 
knowing) felloiv; be smart (quick)! I'll make him smart 
(suffer) for it (I'll have my revenge); a smoke: let's 
have a smoke (let us smoke a cigar or pipe); sneak 
(inform; informer, he who accuses others behind their 
back); soapy (flattering, hypocritical, oily): a soapy 
sneak; sold (cheated, done, deceived, lost): ive are 
sold; a sov (sovereign, 20 shillings); two sov {£2); 
specs (spectacles, glasses); to spot (to mark, recognise); 
to stand (offer, pay) a person a bottle of wine &^c.; 
stonebroke (deep in debt); street: he is not in the 
same street ivith you (he can't hold a candle to you, 
he's not a patch upon you); to stump (to disappoint, 
baffle, puzzle, outdo; in politics: to agitate); he's on 
the stump (he's agitating); style (manner, way): that's 
the style (the wa}' to proceed); a swell (a dandy, masher) \ 
swim: he is in the sivim (in luck; in the secret). 



L- 



J 82 XXVI. English as it is Spoken. (Culloquial English.) 

T'. lo a T (very exactly, correctly): it's done to a 
T; the coat Jits yon to a T; right to a T; ta ! (thank 
you; ta-ta); Taffy (from ^SV. Davy, the patron saint 
of Wales: a Welshman); tall (improbable): that's a tall 
story; ta-ta (good-bye, farewell; ta) ; there: there's a 
dear! there's a good boy! (do me that favour); there 
you are (now you have, or get, what you want); thing: 
// is not the thing (not becoming, not good breeding); 
that's quite (or just) the thing (that's how it ought to 
be); he knows (or is up to) a thing or tivo (he i.s a sly 
dog, a knowing fellow); a thou (a £ 1000 note); thun- 
dering (exceeding! v): n thundering fine girl, or good 
thing; ticker (watch); ticket: that's the ticket (that's 
just what I want; it's the very thing); to have tiffs 
(quarrels) ivith a p.; a tip (a gratuity, present of money); 
to tip a ivaiter (to give him a few coppers); Tommy 
(Atkins) (the British infantry soldier); top-hat, (tall 
silk hat); the (Tuppeny) Tube (the Central London 
Electric Railway); a turnip (a watch). 

Unmentionables, or unutterables (trousers); the 
upper crust, or upper ten (page 104). 

Vac (vacation): the lo7ig Vac; Varsity (University). 

W. C. (water closet, lavatory; West Central District 
of London); a wee bit (a little bit, somewhat); weed 
(tobacco, cigar): a (fragrant) weed (a cigar); what for: 
/ gave him ivhat for (a piece of my mind, I paid him 
out); a whopper (fib, manifest lie). 

A Yankee (Brother Jonathan). 

The Zoo (Zoological Gardens). 

2. Slang. 
It is a curious fact that slang, which originally 
was a privilege and property of the lowest grades 
of life, is now making its way into ordinary Eng- 
lish conversation, and is in particular favour with 
the younger members of good society. A striking 



XXVI. English as it is Spoken. (Slang.) I 83 

feature of slang is, that old words are used with 
new meanings. Foreigners as a rule are eager 
to make use of slang terms, and ought to be 
very careful— if they use them at all— to use them 
correctly; but it is best to avoid them. 

Slang is by no means fixed; on the contrary, 
it changes with fashion and taste. Thus many 
of the slang expressions copiously found in the 
novels of Charles Dickens (died 1870) and William 
Makepeace Thackeray (died 1863; have already 
fallen into disuse. In many cases it is hard to 
decide whether a term belongs to slang or to 
colloquial speech. Of the great number of living- 
slang terms, the following may be given here: 

All there (equal to the occasion, up to the mark): 
he is all there (he is the right man in the right place). 

Baccy (tobacco); bags (trousers); to bash (to 
strike, beat with a heavy blow); a beak (a Police 
Court magistrate); be(a)no (a great pleasure, a treat, 
a high old time, horn the word beanfeast): we had a 
first-class beano; a beaver (tall silk hat, top-hat); bet: 
yoii bet (you may be sure, I can assure you); a bike 
(bicycle); biz (business): good biz (capital)!; blasted, or 
blessed, or blovx^'ed (euphemisms for: confound it, 
(1 . . . it); a bloke (man, fellow); bloody (usually 
written b— y in police reports: a %ery vulgar and 
horrid word nowadays, but in frequent use in the 
1 8th century. As an adjective it means: downright, 
abominable; as an adverb: very, abominably, extremely); 
blooming (a euphemism for bloody); a blow-out (feast); 
a bob (a shilling): 2 bob (2 s.); bobbish (in excellent 
health and spirits); a bobby (a policeman, a constable, 
a peeler; from Bobby [i. e. Robert) Peel, who 
reformed the police) ; boko (head , nose) ; to go 



iSa XXVI. English as it is Spoken. (Slang.) 

011 the booze (go drinking beyond measure); to he 
boozed or boozy (drunk); ilic Boy (Jizz, champagne): 
a bottle of "the Boy" ; brass (money, coin); a brolly 
(umbrelki); to bunk (to run away, take to flight). 

A caution (a rollicking, funny, queer, sharp fellow 
or girl); cheap: to feel cheap (sick, not at ease, especially 
after having been on the spree); child: this child 
(myself, I); a chimney-pot (a tall silk hat); chink 
(money); chippy {cheap); to chuck (to throw); 
chump (head): he's off his chump (cracked, out of 
his wits); cock (fellow): how are \oti, old cock? cold: 
I was left out in the cold (outwitted, unsuccessful); 
to cop (to seize, to lay hold of); a copper (a police- 
man; from to cop); to cotton on to a person (to fraternise 
with him, to take to him or her); a crib (a situation, 
place, post, lodgings); to come a bad cropper (to have a 
heavy fall, to meet with disaster); he's a cure (a caution); a 
cuss (a little rascal); to cut it fat (to boast, brag, i)luster). 

Davy (oath, affidavit): upon my davy I I'll take ?ny 
daiyy on it (you may depend upon it)! deuce (euphe- 
mism for devil): ivhat the deuce are von u/> to (wliat 
on earth are you doing)? dibs (money); a dick(e)y 
(shirt-front, half-shirt); dicky (bad , sad): things look 
precious dicky (very bad); viv digs, or niv diggings 
(lodgings, rooms); done brown (disappointed); down: 
to he dojvn in the mouth (to be sad, to speak very 
little); to be doivn on one's luck (to be unfortunate, to 
be in a fix); dood(e), or dude (sivell, dandy); dust 
(money): dozvn zvith the dust! (fork out!); a dusting 
(scolding, thrashing); not dusty (not bad). 

Extensive (stylish, swelli.sh, elegant). 

A fake (a deception; a branch of business, a 
trade); to fake (to retouch, re-adjust; to adulterate; 
also: to work, to do something); a faker (a deceiver, 
an adulterator, a street- vendor) : a rnush(room-)faker 
(an itinerant mender of umbrellas); fizz (champagne, 
from its fizzing when the bottle is opened); a fizzle 



XXVI. English as it is Spoken. (Slang.) 1 85 

(a wretched failure) : llie fireivorks zvere a complete fizzle; 
m\- flippers (fingers, hand); fly (cunning, smart): he's 
a flv chap; to fork out (to pay up); foxy (sly); 
free gratis, or free gratis and for nothing (without 
paying for it); fuddled (drunk); funk (fear); to funk 
(to be afraid of); funky (afraid, frightened). 

A gamp (an umbrella); to gas (to brag, boast, 
bluster); a gent (a gentleman); gents (gentlemen); 
giglamps (glasses, spectacles); a gingham (a gamp); 
a growler (a four-wheeler); grub (food); to gmh (to 
eat); by gum (by God). 

To hang out (to live, dwell): where d'ye hang out? ; 
hop: to set a person on the hop (to vex, tease, rile 
him); he's on the hop (on the spree); to hop (to dance); 
hot coppers (a sick headache); a howler (a blunder, 
a big mistake); a howling (awful) cad; hump: that 
gives me the hump (that makes me sick, vexes me); 
hunt: / ivas out of the hunt (unsuccessful). 

An ivory (a tooth). 

That's a nasty jar (a disagreeable surprise); jaw 
(mouth; also: talk, speech): hold your jaw (tongue); to 
jaw (to talk; also: to scold, to run down, to blow up); 
jiggered (surprised, nonplussed); a josser (a duffer); 
a juggins (a gull, a duffer). 

To kick the bucket (to die); kicksies (cockney: 
trousers); to kid (to humbug, to hoax, to deceive); 
the kisser, or kissing-trap (mouth); to be in the know 
(to be in the secret, to know all about it), 

A lap (a drink): to go on the lap (on the spree); 
ladidah (very st}'lish): a ladidah swell; to lick (to 
beat, thrash); a licker (a big He); a licking (a sound 
thrashing) ; lingo (language, dialect) ; lotion (liquor, drink). 

A mite (a little, a trifle; a little child); a moke 
(donkey, ass); a monkey (a ;^ 500 note); muck (dirt; 
nonsense, humbug); muddled (drunk); mug (mouth, 
face; dunce); to mug up (to cram, to commit to 
memory); a mush(room) (an umbrella). 



l86 XXVI. English as it is Spoken. (Slang.) 

Needle (funk): he's got the needle (he is very 
nervous about something); to nick (to steal); my nipper 
(3'oungster, boy, son); a nob (a rich gentleman; a 
shortening of nobleman); to nobble (to cheat, to steal); 
nobby (smart, swellish); no error, no flam, no flies, 
no kid, no mistake, afc. (all of them mean to sa\': 
no doubt about that); nut (head): he's off his nut (he's 
cracked, dotty); nuts: to be niUs on (fond of). 

Oof, or ooftish (money). 

My pal (friend); the great panjandrums (the big- 
wigs, highest officials) of Parliament ; parcel (girl): a 
tidy parcel {nice gh\); (to) patter (chatter, talk); pearlies 
(trousers with mother-of-pearl buttons on the sides); 
keep your pecker (l:)cak. spirits, heart) up/; a peeler 
(a policeman , so called from Sir Robert Peel ; see 
bobby); pewters (money); to pinch (to steal); pippin 
(pal); a pony (;^ 25, a betting term); pot: a big pal 
(a nob); potty (a corruption of "petty", insignificant): a 
potty affair, a potty shop ; to prig (to pinch, to steal). 

A quid (a sovereign, 20s.; chewing-tobacco). 

To rig out (dress wejl); a ripper (a capital fellow); 
ripping (first-rate, excellent); rorty (smart, lovely); 
rummy (rum, queer, funny); run to it: / run to it 
(I can afford it, I have the money for it); // ivon't 
run to it (I cannot afford it). 

Sausage (nickname for a German): look at that 
German sausage over there I ; to scorch (to c\-clc recklessl}-, 
to tear along on a bicycle); a scorcher (a go-ahead 
fellow); a screamer (capital ji)ke); screw (salary, 
wages; mean person); scrumptious (excellent); shine: 
shine, Sir? (do you want your boots cleaned? Thus 
the London shoe-blacks address the passers-by); to 
take the shine out of a person (to eclipse, surpass him); 
shirt (temper): to lose one's shirt; keep your shirt {p\ 
hair) on (don't get angry); shirty (angry, cross, bad- 
tempered); a skunk (a mean fellow); a slavey (maid- 
servant, servant-girl); a smoke (tobacco): a tuppenny 



\ 



XXVI. English as it is Spoken. (Slang.) 1 87 

smoke (a ^d. cigar); snappy (lil-tempered, curt): he's 
very snappy with me; a snob (a cad, a coxcomb, a 
conceited and ill-bred fellow who apes his superiors); 
snuff: he is up to snuff (he knows what he is about); 
a sparkler (a caution); spec (speculation): a lucky 
spec; spicy (stylish, fine); spiff, or spiffy (stylish, 
spruce, first-rate, well dressed); spiffing (excellent); to 
splutter (to talk fast and confusedly); splosh (money); 
to spoof (to take [one] in, to make a fool of, to 
outdo, to do); spoon: to spoon a f^iii (to make love 
to her); to spoon on (to be in love with, very fond of); 
he is spoons on her (over head and ears in love with 
her); to be (or get) spoony on (in love with); spree 
(lark): to go on the spree (to go and enjoy oneself); 
[Why is Berlin like a drunken man? It's always on 
the Spree]; a stove-pipe (a top-hat). 

A tanner (a sixpence); on tick (on credit, on 
trust); tight (tipsy); a tile (a top-hat); tin (money); a 
tip (a hint); to tip (to give a tip); a tipster (a person 
wlio gives tips on a race-course); toast: to have a 
person on toast (to have him in one's power, take him 
in, deceive him, do him); a toff (a nob); to tog (to 
dress); togs (clothes); a topper (a top-hat); a top- 
sawyer (a nob); trotters (feet); to twig (to see through 
something, to notice) ; a twister (a hard task or problem). 

At my uncle's (in a pawn-shop). 

To warm a person up=to wire {ox pitch) into aperson. 

Yum-yum! (an exclamation expressing the highest 
admiration or enjoyment). 

3. The Cockney Dialect. 
In former times, only those "born within the 
sound of Bow Bells" (the bells of Bow Church, 
in Cheapside) were called Cochieys, i. e. true 
Londoners. Nowadays, this name — which has a 
dash (or slight admixture) of contempt in it — is 



,00 XXVI. English as it is Spoken. (Cockney.) 

applied to all London-born residents, and indeed 
sometimes to those who have merely settled in the 
MetropoHs. The most characteristic representatives 
of Cockney dom are popularly known as 'Arry 
and his "gal" (girl) 'Arriet, both belonging to 
the lower class, and emphatically showing all 
the peculiarities and perversities of the average 
Cockney. And so the language spoken by 
Cockneys cannot fail to differ widely from that 
of educated Englishmen; the difference is so 
conspicuous that the vulgar London speech fully 
deserves the name "Cockney dialect" which is 
applied to it. Foreigners who may justly boast 
of a fair knowledge of standard English, will be 
quite at a loss to understand the lively 'Arry 
letters in Punch (the leading London comic paper), 
nor can they more than guess what is said by 
the London costers (or costermongers), cabdrivers, 
mechanics, factory hands, workmen, dock labourers, 
scavengers (or street-sweepers), paper-boys, shoe- 
blacks, or gutter-snipes — who speak the 'Arry 
dialect in all its purity. 

Owing to the predominance (or leading position) 
of London as the Metropolis, a London experience 
carries with it a strong recommendation, and is 
usually sought by those who wish to make their 
way in the world. Therefore, London English, 
especially in the matter of pronunciation, has gained 
ground in the larger provincial (or country) towns, 
and in the Colonies. Australian English shows 
a particularly large admixture of Cockney speech. 



XXVI. English as it is Spoken. (Cockney.) l8g 

The vulgar Cockney dialect differs from the 
standard English of educated speakers in pronun- 
ciation and grammar (accidence and syntax). 

In pronunciation, the Cockney is very partial to 
(or fond of) the following vulgarisnis. 

First of all, he consistently 'drops his h's' (read: 
aitches) , that is, he does not sound the // where it 
ought to be heard, and puts in an h where there is 
none, especially when he is trying to speak well, e. g. 
'am an' heggs (for: ham and eggs), 'Arry (Harry), 'and- 
some 'Arriet (h. H.), / 'ate (hate), 'ere (here, hear), hear 
(ear), hiis (us), the German hemperor (emperor), in the hopen 
hair (open air), hedgercation (education), hup the 'ill (up 
the hill), &fc. 

'Arry also 'drops' other letters, e. g. the ji^-sound 
as it is heard in your. Thus he will say: dooke 
(duke), produce (produce), Toosday (Tuesday), dooty (duty), 
noo (new), coorosity (curiosity), illustrous (-ious), familiar 
(-iar), picter (picture), nater (nature), centry (century), &"€. 
On the other hand, the Cockney pronounces: parients 
(instead of: parents), /<2;^"o/^r (favour), tremendioiis {-<\oVii), 
ch'ild (child), rhium (chum), err. 

Also the 'dropping' of the ^ is a frequent vulgarism, 
even among people who are higher up in the social 
scale, e. g. mornin (morning), eve7iin\ shillin' , puddin' , 
goin' , savin', ivorkin' , amoosin' (amusing), &'c. But 
only people of the 'Arry type make the opposite blunder 
of sounding a g where there is none to be heard, as 
in: hitching (for: kitchen), childring (-dren), garding (-den), 
pidjing-shootin' (pigeon-shooting), (&-y. In polysyllabic 
words ending in -ing, a /f-sound is often added, e. g. 
hanytJnnk (anything), niffink (nothing), heverythink, some- 
think, feelink, ^c. 

The letters d and t are frequently 'dropped', as in: 
an' (and), ol' (old), o Lor' (oh Lord), Cap'n (Captain), 

Kron, The Little Londoner. 8. 13 



. _ „ XXVI. Knglish as it is Spoken. (Cockney.) 

1 don (don't) k7wiv, 1 did'?i (didn't) 7/iean thai, yon 
s/iouldn' (should not) do it, I nms' {must) go, viosly (mostly), 
iiex (next), //// (little)^ hohjec (object), exacly (exactly), 
it's a feck (fact), a puffik gen'hnen (a perfect gentle- 
man). ^ The opposite also occurs: suddent (sudden), 
iioicet (nice), &=€. 

The 2x»-sound is 'dropped' in: ekal (equal), Jieekenllv 
(frequently), ^c. 

Otlier peculiarities of Cockney pronunciation arc 
the vowel sound of long i (as in mine) given to tlie 
accented long a, the sound of oi in cases which require 
a long /-sound, and that of ow (as in hoiv) instead of 
a long 0. Examples: die (day), mike (make), plice (place), 
/ite (fate), disy (daisy), tile (tale), &€. — oi (I), noi.ce(t,i 
(nice) , toim (time) , foin (fine) , &=€. — sozv (so) , now 
(no), rowd (road), &=c. Oi'd loik to gow to Kimebridge 
io-die (I should like to go to Cambridge to-day). 

An extremely vulgar pronunciation is 'Arry's Chaw- 
ley (Chadey), nawsty (nasty), glawss (glass), clawss (clas.s), 
/)awk (park), &'c., with the a in all. 

Keb (cab), ket (cat), kerry (carry), feck (fact), mtm 
(ma'm, madam), ^c, with the sound of a short e as 
it is heard in then ; 'ooiay (hurra), brayvo (bravo), with 
the a-sound heard in fate ; wheer (where), thccr (there). 
keer (care), with a long <?(2-sound, as in fear; my fimib 
(thumb), my mnvver (mother), nuffink (nothing), fe?iks 
(thanks), with / instead of /// (as m baby speech) — 
these and many other blunders are vulgarisms of the 
lowest kind. 

The Cockney Grammar exhibits several very bold 
anomalies which, it is true, can in many cases be 
traced back to older usages. 

'Any says, e. g. : / calls, lue cails, you calls, ihev 
calls; zve was, you was, thev was; we is (are); he 
be(e)s (is), they be(e)s (are) ; / has, loe has, you has, they 
has; I's bin (have been); / ain't (am not); / ain't 



XXVI. English as it in Spoken. (Cotkaey.) j g j 

(haven't); / ain't no (I have no) hohjectioir, I does, we 
does, you does, he do. 

The Past of strong verbs is frequently expressed 
by the Present tense in vulgar speech : / never see 
(= saw) him a/ore (heiore); I come (came), I give (gave), 
I feel (felt), &=€. 

Many strong verbs are used as if (or as though) 
they were weak : / seed (saw, have seen), / blovo'd 
(blew, have blown), knoiv'd, throw'd catch'd, ^c. 

The Past Participle is as much as possible avoided 
by vulgar speakers, and replaced by the Past tense, 
for instance : He ivas took (taken) ///; Fve wrote (written) 
a letter; he's spoke (has spoken], shook (shaken), fell 
(fallen), stole (stolen), &=€. 

The Present Participle is regularly preceded by the 
prefix a- (i. e, the preposition on), e. g. : I'm a-livin 
(= living) in the Old Kent Road; the train's a-comiti' 
(is coming); he come (= came) a rumiin' , to go a-sJiootin' , 
(to go out shooting), a-fishin' , dfc. Transitive verbs 
show the same form (a- . . . ing) in the gerund, and 
are followed by of e. g. : I'm a-doin ' of (= doing) 
this 'ere job. I've been a-ivatchin of (watching) the 
monkeys in the Zoo, &c. — The prefix a- is even 
found with Past Participles, such as: You'll find the 
name a-unitten (= written) over the door. 

Cockneys of the lower classes frequently confuse 
(or mix up) the verbs to learn and to teach, e. g. : he's 
the teacher wot's (= who is) learning (= teaching) 
my nipper (= son) at the board-school. — Also to 
lay for to lie, to set for to sit, to stand for to put are 
frequently used in vulgar utterance, e. g.: I've been 
layin' (for: lying) on the bed; he's settin' (sitting) 
indoors all day long; stand {= put) the kettle on 
the fire. 

Two and more negations, instead of one only, are 
quite common in vulgar speech, e. g, : I don't want 



, p,T XXVI. English as it is Spoken. (Cockney.) 

none of your humbug; 'as nobody noivhere seen my 'at?; 
you do7i't know nobody as don't want to buy no dog, 
do you?; I ain't no bloomin' millionaire, not me, &=c. 

As for the definite and indefinite articles, 'Arr\' is 
very partial to saying: t'other (the other), t'end (the 
end), t'ice (the ice), Ss'c. [Similar contractions are 
found in you and to, e. g. : Y're slow t'a7isiver\. He 
will also say : a Iiegg (an egg), a howl (an owl), be- 
cause the dropped n of the article has a substitute hi 
the h prefixed to the following word; and again: 
an 'appy (or a nappy) Noo Year t'yer (a happy New 
Year to you) ; ari 'undred years ago (a hundred . . ); go 
and get an' atisum (a hansom cab), for in 'Arry's speech 
happy, &"€., begin with a vowel. 

In vulgar speech, a double plural ending is not 
uncommon, e. g. : Look at them two sivellses (those 
two swells) swaggering about with red utnbrellases, &'c. 

Of the Pronouns several forms are to be stigmatised 
as vulsiarisms. Such is the case of the absolute Pos- 
sessive Pronouns hisn {= his); hern (hers), ourn (ours). 
yourn (yours), theirn (theirs), which have been formed 
on the analogy of the standard English mine. Example : 
That ain't no bu.siness o' your?i (that's no business of 
yours). — The Reflexive Pronouns (h)isself (himself) 
and theirselves (themselves) are vulgar analogies to my- 
self and oursehes : Hev'ryone for 'isself, and Gawd 
(=God) for us all. — Them stands vulgarly for these 
or those, e. g.: Them (those) dogs bite, I 'ate (I hate) 
them fellers (fellows). — This 'ere, that there, these 
'ere, those there, them there are frequentl\- employed 
in Cockney speech instead of this, that, these, 
those, e. g. : Go an' take this 'ere letter to the pillar 
box. Them there clerks makes a quid (;^ i) a week. — 
That = such a, or to such an extent, is also vulgar : I 
was in that {= such an) awful fix (= difficulty), I didn't 
know what to do next. He is that tall (tall to such 



XXVI. English as it is Spoken. (Cockney.) TO^ 

an extent that you'd 'ardly 'ave thought it possible. 
— As = relative who(m), which, that, is a great favour- 
ite with vulgar speakers, e. g. : He's a feller as (= 
whom) you can rely on. Every boy as (=: who, that) 
is lazy '11 (will) get bad marks. That's all as (= that) 
I know. What (often spelled wot) = who, which, that, 
is very frequently heard, and on the same level with 
as, e. g. : He's a feller wot you can tnast. — A feiv = 
a little, e.g.: 'ave you got any splosh ( =: money)? Yes, 
a few (=: a little). 

As is his wont, the vulgar Cockney considerably 
extends the Old English, and the colloquial, way of 
Comparison, and seems to have a marked dislike to 
the French manner of forming the Comparative and 
Superlative. Double Comparisons are very frequent. 
Examples: (h)extravaganter, -est, haristooatiker, -est 
(more, most aristocratic); he's the most hextravagantest 
creature on earth; I hope you may be a little more 
siiccessfuller next time. Forms as hetterer, more betterer, 
nicerer, the most unkindest cut of all (Julius Caesar, IH, 
2, 184), most comfortablest, worser, worsest, are often met 
with. Instead of than, 'Arry uses nor: Better late nor 
(= than) never. 

Adverbs as a rule have the same form as the 
corresponding adjectives, e. g. : Em awful (= awfully) 
tired; you look remarkable (-bly) well. 

The above vulgarisms are only the more 
striking elements of the current 'Arry dialect, 
but there is no need to enlarge on what has 
been referred to here. Nor need it be repeated 
that a gentleman will naturally refrain from 
drawing upon 'Arry's vocabulary. 



J r\ A XXVII. Sundries. 

XXVII. 

Sundries. 

Visitors to England need not trouble about 
taking a dress-s7nt with them, in case they intend 
spending a .short time there, for the sole purpose 
of sight-seeing and studying the spoken language. 
But the tall silk hat should not be left at home. 

In greeting, the hat is raised very little. Gentle- 
men always wait for acknowledgment on the part 
of ladies, as well as from those men who are their 
superiors in age or position. The hat is seldom 
taken off in shops, refreshment-rooms, cafes, offices 
(private offices excepted), and public places 
generally. Members of Parliament (M. P.'s) also 
keep their hats on during the sitting of Parliament. 

Englishmen who are staying at the same board- 
ing-house do not expect you to introduce yourself 
to tliem, and would even resent it as obtrusiveness 
on your part. Conversation is carried on without 
such introduction. At parties, however, the guests 
are introduced to each other by a common friend; 
the usual phrase is (addressing the lady): May I 
(or Allo7v me to) infrodiice (my friend) Mr. Fawn 
— (addressing Mr. Fawn:) Miss Ant. 

Never address a lady by Miss only (which is 
vulgar), but always: Miss Ant (speaking to the 
eldest daughter of Mr. Ant), and Miss Jane Ant 
(addressing any but the eldest daughter of Mr. 
A.); Miss Jane by itself would suppose a certain 
familiarit3^ 



^faterinls for Dialo^ips. 



195 



Ladies' visiting-cards are larger than those of 
gentlemen. The word Mrs., Miss, Mr., and titles 
indicative of rank (Sir, Dr., Colonel, &c.), — 
not those indicating professions — are always 
prefixed; sometimes also the address is added (in 
the /(g/?-hand corner). Joint cards (for husband and 
wife) are in no particular favour. For leave- 
taking, cards bearing the written initials P. P. C. 
(pour prendre conge) are now always sent by post. 



Materials for Dialogues. 

/. Hoiv to introduce questions. 



Do you know what . . . ? 

Can you tell me . . . ? 

Will (or Would) you give 
me the words for ... ? 

What is meant by . . . ? 

What do you call . . . ? 

How do you explain (or ac- 
count for) the fact that . . . ? 

Are you (not) of (the) opinion 
that . . . ? 

Don't you think we shall . . . ? 

Are you sure that . . . ? 

From what do you infer 
that . . . ? 

If I remember rightly, the 
English . . . ; is that really so? 

Do you remember what . . . ? 

I've been told that . . . ; do 
you hold the same opinion? 

What do you call ... in 
F.nglish ? 



I'm not quite sure about it, 
but I'll (= I will) see. 

I hope I can. 

With pleasure. — Nothing 
easier (or simpler) than that. 

That's all you want to know? 

I'm afraid I've forgotten. 

That's not hard (or difficult) 
to see. — That'seasily explained. 

I have no opinion at all on 

the matter (or on that subject). 

That depends on circumstances. 

How can I be sure of it? 

I infer it from ... — I con- 
clude that from . . . 

I feel inclined to doubt it, but 
(still) it may be so (or true). 

As far as I know . . . 

People say so, but it is not 
very probable. I know nothing 
about it. 

You ask more than I know. 
My vocabulary is very shaky. 



ig6 



Materials for Dialogues. 

2. How to introduce a request. 



May I trouble you to tell 
me the different parts of a 
coat ? 

Please to (or Kindly, or 
Pray) tell me if . . . 

Be so kind as to (or Be 
good enough to) tell me . . . 

Tell me, (if you) please, what 
you know about (or of) . . . 

I should feel much (or great- 
ly, exceedingly) obliged if you 
would tell me . . . 

Will (or Would) you tell 
me . . . ? — You would oblige 
me by telling me . . . 

I should like to know . . . 

I don't quite understand 
what is meant by ... ; please 
tell me . . . 

You might give me some 
details about . . .; will you? 

That won't do for me; ex- 
plain yourself. 

Very good. Go on, please. 



No trouble at all. 



With great pleasure. Ill try. 
 — Very well. 

I'll do my best, but I fear 
I shall not be able to. 

I am sorry to say, I am 
rather ignorant upon that subject. 

Well, I would if I could, 
but I'm afraid I've forgotten. 

That's a very difficult task 
(or business) which wants think- 
ing over. 

Sorry, I can't tell you. 

How strange you are to-day ! 
You ought to know that. It's 
as plain as possible. 

All right. — I'll do what 
I can to satisfy you. 

Well, you know, . . 
you see now? 

Quite at your disposal 



do 



J. The speaker ivishes to clear up a doubt. 



Have you understood (v%-hat 
I've said)? — I see you don't 
understand what I mean. — 
Wait a minute, I'll say the 
question over again for you. — 
I asked (or was asking) you if 
(or what) ... — Repeat my 
question, that I may see if you 
have understood me. — Well, 
now you will (or you ought to) 



I beg your pardon (at school : 
Please, Sir orAIissX.), I haven't 
understood your question. — I 
have not caught what you said; 
may I ask you to repeat? — 
You speak rather too quickly 
(or fast) for me ; kindly speak 
more slowly. — I have much 
difficulty in understanding what 
you say. — No, I do not yet 



Materials for Dialogues. 



197 



have understood ; have you ? — 
Pay attention! The question 
is rather long ! — Oh, dear! Oh, 
dear! You are dull (or a dull 
sort of fellow)! — What's up 
with you ! So I shall have 
to begin again. — I said . . . 
Have you got hold of (or caught) 
it at last? or, Do you see the 
drift of it? — Now, answer as 
well or as badly as you can. — 
Are you deaf? - — Have you (got) 
no ears? It is too trying to 
repeat the same question ten 
times over. — I am tired of it 
now! It is enough to make a 
saint swear, or to drive a fellow 
mad ! — Well, for the last time 
then, but prick up your ears! 



know what you mean; would 
you mind repeating it once 
more? — Oh, I see! There 
was one word that escaped 
me : that's the reason why I 
couldn't make it out. —  
If you would oblige me by 
pronouncing very distinctly, I 
should be able to answer your 
questions straight away. — You 
are getting excited (or into 
a temper)! Why lose your 
patience? Be patient! I am 
only a beginner in English. 
"To err is human, to forgive 
divine", says the proverb. — No 
use (or Impossible)! You slur 
over too many letters. Please 
spell the last word for me. 



4. Apologies. 



I beg your pardon for dis- 
turbing you. 

I hope I'm not disturbing 
you. 

A thousand pardons for step- 
ping (or treading) on your foot ! 

Excuse (or Pardon) me. Ma- 
dam, I didn't do it on purpose. 

I beg your pardon for con- 
tradicting (interrupting) you; I 
think you are mistaken. 

Excuse me for not going to 
the door with you. 



(Pray,) Don't mention it. — 
Never mind. — Not at all. — 
(It's) All right. 

Oh, certainly not! — Not 
in the least. 

(There's) No harm done. — 
It is nothing (to speak of). 

Make no apologies; it is all 
right. 

(No reply is made to this 
form of apology.) 

There is no apology needed. 



Materials fni Dialopf>;os. 



Yes, it was quit"" unpardon- 
able. 

Pray, don't mention it. 

Most certainly. What is it? 
I shall be only too glad to help 
you if I can. 

(No reply.) 



.\ nice boy (or young fellow) 
von arc! You'll have to say 
it to-morrow then. 

Is it really? I didn't know. 

.Ml right, ] will. 



198 

T have to (or I must) apolo- 
gise for not answering j-our 
letter in time. 

I am verj- sorry io have kept 
(or for keeping) you waiting. 

Will you kintlly excuse my 
troubling you with a private 
affair? 

Excuse my glove (is often 
said when some one shakes 
hands with his glove on). 

I am afraid (or I think, 1 
believe), Sir, I haven't learnt 
my lesson. 

Allow me, that pencil is mine. 

Please, (or Kindly) excuse 
me to your brother. 

Remark. — The forms of apologising for having hurt or 
troubled some one are very often not replied to at all; he or she 
whose pardon has thus been asked for, sunply makes a slight 
bow in return. 

5. Forms of thanks. ^ 

Thank you (very much). Many (or Hearty, or My best) 
thanks. (Colloquially:) Thanks. A thousand thanks for your 
kindness. (Very) Much obliged (to you). ^ 

Remark. — A reply to these forms of thanks is not ex- 
pected in English, but can be given by the fonn : Don't mention 
it; some say: Quite ivclconie, or You're welcome (to it). 

6. Phrases expressing astonishment. 

Indeed? Is that (really) so? Really? You don't mean it! 
You don't say so! Dear me, how strange! Good(ness) gracious! 
Oh Lor (or Lud)! I am surprised! Who would have thought it! 

7. To attract attention. 

I beg your pardon. Sir (or Mr. Wood)! I say, Fred! Halloo! 



' When asked, at table, if vou would like to have a little more of some 
dish, Thtinls you means y'as, and No, thank you mean?; ». 



Matenals for Dialogue!;. IQQ 

8. General answers to questions. 

(a) Affirmative answers and forms of assent: All right 
Certainly. That's it. Of couise. Veiy well. Quite so. Exactly so. 
Just so. Precisely so. Surely. (Most) Decidedly. Undoubtedly. 
No doubt. No doubt about it (or that). Without doubt. That's 
true. (That's) Quite correct (or right). You are right. I quite 
agree. I admit that. I am altogether of your opinion. That's 
a matter of course. Tliat goes without saying. Truly. Yes, 
indeed. That's evident (or clear, obvious). Evidently. In any case. 
At any rate. By all means. Yes, as far as I know; &c. 

(b) Hesitating, undecided answers: Yes and no. 1 daresay 
it is (true). I'm not quite sure (about that). 'Jhat depends. Yes, 
i should say so. Maybe. Perhaps (so). It seems so. It looks 
(very) much like it. Quite possible. (That's) Very likely (or 
probable). Probably. I suppose so. I think so. I fancy, 
but I ... I presume it is. People say so. That's hard to tell. 
To all appearance it is so. I am afraid you may be mistaken. 
That's very (or rather) doubtful. Not altogether. Not quite. Do 
you really think so? Are you quite sure of it? I've no settled 
opinion about that. I've never seriously thought about it. That's 
a matter of taste ; &c. 

(c) Negative answers: Oh, no. By no means. Not in the 
least. You are wrong (or mistaken). Y''ou err. That's a mistake 
(or an error). That's where you are mistaken. Never. Decidedly 
not. Certainly not. Surely not. On the contrary. Not that 
I know of. Impossible. I don't (or can't) believe that. I think 
not. I doubt it. I'm very doubtful about that. I'm of a 
different opinion. I beg to differ. "We'll agree to differ. On 
no account. The idea! &c. 

Remark. — In answering, the words Sir, Madam, Mrs. X., 
Miss Y., &c. are less frequently used than the French "Monsieur", 
"Madame", "Mademoiselle", &c. In order to emphasise the 
words Yes and A^o, the ruling verb of the question is taken up 
again, e. g. : Yes, I am (have, do, will, can); No, I cannot, (^c. 



20Q 



TNDEX. 

The figure rrfer to the pages. 



ABC-Guide 136 

acciilent =;b 

A. D. 9b 

addition 88 

Administration 151, 165 

after-dinner speech 21 

age 67, 109 

agents 87 

air-balloon 137 

Aldershot 172 

ale-houses 40 

All Fools' Day 113 

almanacks 97 

a. m. 12 

American drinks 41 

amu-^ements 105, 115 

animals 157 — 159 

answers 195 — 199 

apartments 33, 34 

apologies 197 

area 27 

arithmetic 88 

arm 53 

army 168 

Army and Navj-Storesio 

•Arriet, 'Arry 188 

artisans 86 

artist(e)s 85, 104, 105 

asking one's way 152 

athletics 120 

at-home 69 

Atlantic liners 136 

at table 18, 24, 198 

autumn 102 

B.A. 80 

balance 93 

balloon 137 

banker 87 

Bank Holidays iii, 154 

bank-notes 92 

banns 68 

baptism 66 

bargaining 14 

barometer 106 

Baron 83, 84 

barrister 166 

Bart. (= Baronet) 84 

basement 27 

bath(e) 102 

bath-room 29 

bazaar 11 

B. C. 96 

beard 52 

bed 31 



bed-room 29, 31 

beer 40, 41, 176 

bell 28 

belly 53 

best English 175 

bitting 123 

birds loi, 103, 158 

birthday 108 

Bisley 173 

Bismarck 83, 84, 110 

blacklegs 87 

Black Maria 167 

blinds 30 

Blue Ribbon Army 40 

Boarding House 34 
— Schools 75 

Board of Education 73 

Boat Race 8i 

Bodega 41 

bodily defects 54 

boots 46 

Borough Council i6b 

Boys' Brigade 173 

boxing 80, 121 

Boxing Day m 

Bradshaw 136 

breai h of promise 68 

breakfast 17 

bride(groom) 68 

bridges 144 

brief 166 

British Empire 160 

— Museum 115, 151 
burial 71 

Bushy Park 154 
buttonhole 50, 69 

cab 140, 14T 
cablegram 127 
Cadet Battalions 173 
cafes 41 
calendar 97 
callings 84 
calls I 
caloriferc 32 
Camberley 172 
Cambridge 78 — 82 

— Local 77 
cap and gown 79 
card-playing 43, 123 
c;ire of 126 
Carnival 113 
carriages 132 

cars 129, 132, 138 
carving 18, 123 



Central London Ry. 138 
chandelier 32 
Chas Baker 11 
Cheap Jack 150 
cheese 17 
chess 43 
chest 53 
christening 66 
Christmas no — H2 
— dinner 22, H2 
Church Parade 148 
cigars 44, 135 
circus 116, 146 
City 145, 163 
City Council 166 
Civil Service Stores 10 
claret 41 
clerg>'men 85 
climate 106 
clinking glasses 21 
cloak-room 135 
clocks 98 
clothes 47, (8 
cloths 48 
clubs 37, 38 
c/o 126 
coach 80, 140 
coat 47 
cobbler 42, 87 
cockney 187 
cocktail 42 
coffee-palaces 40 
colleges 75, 78, 171 
colloquial English 175 
colonies 160, 165 
coma 72 
comic papers 42 
commercial schools 74 
commoners 78 
compliments 6 
concerts 116 
confirmation 67 
Coi stitution 163 
cook(ing) 16 
corn 159 

Corporation 151, 166 
cosy 22 
counties 165 
country 156 
County Council 166 

— Court 166 

— Schools 75 
Courts 166 

Covcnt Garden markcti: 
, Cowcs Week 122 



20I 



cremation 72 
crest 84, 125 
cricket 119 
cruet-stand 19, 23 
Crystal Palace ri6, 154 
cup 42 

custom-house 135 
cycling 121, 141, 142 

d. 91 

dancing 118, 119 
date 97 
day-schools 75 
dead letters 126 
death 71, 72 
decimal system 90 
degree 79 [74 

denominational schools 
Derby (Day) 123 
dining-room 30, 39 
dinner 17, 21, 39 
dinner-jacket 21 
diseases 54, 57, 58 
dispensing chemist 8, 58 
dissenters 74 
division 89 
doctor 58, 85 
dog-days 105 
dollar 92 

domestic animals 64, 157 
drawers 31, 45 
drawing-room 29, 31 
dress 49, 69 

dressing 45 [194 

dress-suit 2, 21, 47, 6g, 
drinks 41 
drunkenness 41 
Duke 83 

ear 52 
Earl 83 
East End 145 
Easter 113 
Edison 128 
education 73 

e. g. 10 

electric railways 138 
electricity 29, 128 
elementary schools 74 
engagement 63, 67, b8 
ensigns 167 

entertainments 115, 118 
epidemics 5/ 
Epping Forest 155 
Epsom 123 
rquipment 170 
Esq(uire) 84, 125 
etc. 4 

Eton 75, 154 [68 

evening dress 2, 21, 47, 
pxamiiiations 76,77,79,80 
exhibitions 87 



eye 51 
eye-glass 50 

face 51 

family 62 

fan 50 

farmer 159 

fathom 94 

Fellow 78 

festivals 108 

fingers 53 

Fire Brigade 151 

fire-irons 32 

firei-place) 32 

fish 17, 39 

fishing 122, 157 

five o'clock tea 23 

flags 167 

floor 27, 178 

flowers 158 

fog 103 

food 16 

foot 53 

football 119 

fowling 122 

fox-hunt 121 

fractions 89 

fruit 19, 102, 103, 157 

full dress 21 

funeral 71 

fur 49 

furniture 30, 31 

Galleries 115 

Gambrinus 41 

game 121, 158 

games 119, 120 

garden 157 

gas 29, 32, 146 

gentry 84 

gin-palaces 40 

glasses 49, 50 

gloves 12, 47, 49, 198 

golf 120 

G. O. M. 178 

gong 17,. 28 

Good Friday no, 113 

goose 22 

Government 151, 164 

gown 78, 167 

G. P. O. 126 

grace 21 

graduates 78 

grammar-schools 74 

gravy 19 

Greater London 143 

Greenwich Time 100, 133 

greeting r94 

grill-rooms 39 

Guildhall 114, 150 

guillotine-window 30 

guinea 91 



Guy Fawkes 114 

gyp 79 

Hague Conference 168 

hair 51, 62 
hall 28 

Hampstead Heath 155 
Hampton Court 154 
hansom 140 
Harrod 10 
Harrow Schooi 75 
harvest 159 
hat 46, 49, 194 
hay 159 
head 51, 78 
heating 32 
Hippodrome ii6 
hobbies 123 
hock 24, 41 
holidays 79, 108 
honey-moon 70 
horse-racing 122 
hospital 58 
Hospital Saturday 58 

—  Sunday 58 
hostel 75 
hotel 35 
house 26 
House of Commons 164 

— — Lords 164, 166 
H. P. (Horse Power) 95 
human body 50 
hunting 121 
Hyde Park 148 

ice 103, 121 

i. e. 2 

L H. P. 95 

illness 54 

illustrated cards 13 

incandescent gas light 3;: 

infant schools 75 

infirmities 54 

Jnns of Court 77 

inst. 20 

introduction i, 104 

invitation 20 

I. O. U. 92 

jewel(le)ry 50 
John o'Groat's 161 

J. P. 165 

judge 157 

Judy 150 

jurisdiction 166 

Justice of the Peace 165 

Kelly's Directory 147 
Kew Gardens 153 
khaki 170 
Kiln 44 

Kindergarten 74 
King Edward 163, 164 



t02 



King's Birthday ii.|, 104 

— Pipe 44 
Knight 84 
knocker 3, 18 
knot 93 
Kuhinoor 50 

£ 91 

ladies' apparel 49 
Lady 83 

lager(-beer) 40, 41 
Land's End 161 
lap 121 
larder 27 
latch-key 28 
laundry 49 
Law Courts 151 
lawn tennis 120 
lawyers 77, 85 
learned professions 85 
leave-taking 5 

'eg 53 

letter 124, 125 

library 29, 151 

Ught 52, 146 

lightning 102 

limbs 53 

hnen 49 

local examinations 76 

London 142 

— Directory 147 

— English 188 

— Government 151 

— University 82 
Long Vac 79, 182 
Lord 83 

Lord Mayor('s Day) 1 14, 
lotteries 123 [151 

Ltd. 10 

luggage 133—135 
lunch 17, 38, 39 

M. A. 80 

made in Germany 1 1 
magistrate 167 
manceuvres 171 
manufacture(r) 85, 86, 
Maple ii: Co. 11 [162 
Marconi 127 
markets 1 1 
Marquess 83 
marriage 68 — 70 
matches 44 
May Day 113, 114 
meals 16 
measures 94 
mechanics 86 
medicines 57, 58, 137 
merchants 7 
Metropolitan Ry. 138 
^L E. Z. 100 
mile 94 



military schools 171 
Militia 172 
Ministry 164 
Miss 126, 194, 199 
mistletoe 112 
monarchs 62 
money oo, 126, 127 
Money Orders 126, 127 
monthlies 43 
monument 71, 72 
morning call 2 
motor buses 140 

— cabs 141 

— cars 142 

— lorries 142 
mourning 71 
mouth 51 

M. P. 164, 194 
Mr. 3, 125 
Mrs. 126, 199 
multiplication 88 
Munich beer 41 
Municipal Schools 75 
museums 115, 151 
music 116 

navy 173 
neck 52 

newspapers 42, 150 
New Year 112, 113 
night-stand 31 
nobiUiy B^, 84 
nuse 51 
nursery 29 

Oaks 123 

Ocean steamers 136 
officers 1U9, 171, 173 
old bachelor 65 
old maid 05 
omnibus 140 
organ grinders 149 
orphan 65 
Oxford 78—82 

— Local 77 
oysters 39 

P.and O. 136 

pantomime H2 
pantry 27 
Parcel (s) Post 127 
parks 147, 148 
Parliament 164 
parlour 29 
parquet floor 29 
passage 28 
pastimes 123 
pawn-shop 92, 149 
Peace Conference 1O8 
pensioners 78 
periodicals 42 
physic 57 
piano 30 



picnics 105 

jiictures 29, 104, 115 

pie 19 

Pilsen beer 41 

Ping- Pong 120 

p ra. 2 

Police 152, 167 

politics 165 

porridge 17 

port-wine 41 

postage 125 

Post Office 124, 153 

Post Restante 126 

prison 167 

private schools 75 

Proctor 79 

professions 85 

Pschorr beer 41 

pub 40 

public buildings 150 

— houses 40 

— -schools 75 
publishers 87 
pudding ig 
Punch 42, 188 
Punch and Judy 150 
purse 48, 50 

quack (doctor) 58 
Queen Victoria 164 

races 62, 81, 105, 120,123 
rackets 120 
rack-railway 130 
radiographs 13 
railway 1 29 
rain 102, 106 
rank and file 169 
ranters 14S 
recreation 115 
regattas 122 
report 75 
requests 196 
restaurants 38, 39 
retail 7 

Richmond 153 
ring(-finger) 67 
Rontgen 13, 128 
Rotten Row 147 
rowing 122 

rule of the road 130, 140, 
[140 
s. gi 

S(alvation A(rmy) 168 
Sandhurst 171 
sandwich-men 150 
sash-window 30 
sauce 19 
schol.irs 79 
school 73 
school-board 73 
scout 78, 174 
sea-sickness 137 



20' 



seaside 105 
Season 104, 147 
season 101 
seasoning 19 
secondary schools 74, 



75 



senses 54 
servants 64 
shaving; 46, 52 

sheritf 165 

sherrj' 41 

ships 136, 165, ib7, 174 

shire 165 

shoes 46 

shooting 103, 121, 157 

shop 6, 86 

shopping 12 

slirovetide 113 

shutter 30 

Siemens 12S 

silly season 105 

Sir 84, ibq, 199 

sitting-room 29 

skating 103, 121 

skeleton 53 

skittles 43 

slang 182 

sledge 104 

slipper 70 

smoking 43, 132 

— -room 20, 43 
snacks 39 
snow 104 
society 82 
solicitor 166 
sovereign 90, 163, 164 
spectacles 49, 50 
speech-day 70 
spinster 63 
spirits 40 
sports 103, 119 
spouters 148 
spring loi 
squares 147 
stars and stripes 167 
steamer 136, 139 
sterling 00 
stick 50 
stores 10 
stor(e)y 27 
street-life 149 
streets 146, 156 
strike 87 
subtraction 88 
summer loi 
Sunday 109 
sunshade 50 



supper 23 
swimming 102, 122 

table 23 

tailor 48 
tarts 19 
tea 22 

tea-rooms 38 
technical schools 74 
teeth 46, 52, 56 
teetotaler 39, 40 
telegraph 127 
telephone 127 
temperance hotels 35 

— restaurants 40 
Temple 77, 145 
tennis 120 
terminus 134 
Thames boats 139, 153 
thanks 153, 197 
theatre 117 
theimometer 106 
thunderstorm 102 
ticket 133, 134 

time 95 
time-pieces 97, 98 

— -tables 136 
toast 17, 21 
toilet 45 

tombstone 71, 72 
Tommy Atkins 169 
toothpick 21 
tourist-agents 133 
Tower 150 
Town-Council 166 
trade 85 

trains 131 

tram{\vay) 139 

trance 72 

travelling 129 

tripos 80 

trousseau 70 

trunk 53 

Tube 138, 182 

tutors 78 

Twickenham 154 

Twopenny Tube 138, 182 

U. K. 127, 161 
umbrella 50 
undenominational 

schools 74 
undergraduates 78 
Underground Ry. ij,S 
Union Jack 167 
Universities 77 
U. S. A. 93 



Valentine 112 

Varsity 81 
vegetables 18, 158 
vegetarians 39 
vessels (see : sliips) 
viceroy 165 
village 156 
vine 103 
vintage 103 
Viscount 83 
visiting-cards 3, 195 
viz. 7 
volt 95 

voluntary schools 73 
Volunteers 172 

waiter 43 
Waring 11 
washing 49 
wash-sUind 31 
watch 08 
W. C.'29 
weather 106 — 108 
wedding 60, 68 — ,0 

— -breakfast 69 

— -cake 69 
• — -rmg 69 

weeklies 43 
weights 93 
Welsbach light 32 
Welsh rabbit 25 
Wembley Park 155 
West End 145 
Westminster Abbey 150 

— Cathedral 150 
Whit< ley 10 
wholesale 7 
widow{er) 65 

wig 51, 167 
Wight 105, 122 
wind 108 
window 30 
Windsor 154 
wine 24, 41, 103 
winter 103, 104 
wireless telegraph 127 
Woolwich 171 
wrangler 80 

Xinas no, in 
X-ray photos 13, 128 
X-rays 128 

yachting 122 
Yeomanry 172 

Zoo 148, 1S2 



CONTENTS. 

Chapter Page 

I. Calls I 

II. Shops and Shopping 6 

III. Food and Meals l6 

At Table 24 

IV. Private Houses. Boarding Houses. Hotels . . 26 
V. Clubs. Restaurants. Public Houses. Caf6s. News- 
papers. Smoking 37 

VI. Toilet 45 

VII. The Human Body 50 

VIII. Bodily Defects and Illness 54 

IX. The Human Family 62 

X. Education 73 

XI. English Society. The Various Callings .... 83 

XII. Arithmetic. Fractions 88 

XIII. Money. Weights. Measures 90 

XIV. Time 95 

XV. Season and Weather 101 

XVI. Red Letter Days 108 

XVII. Recreation 1 1 ■; 

XVIII. Postal Arrangements. Letters. Telegraph. Cable. 

Telephone. Electricity I-4 

XIX. Travelling by Land and Sea 129 

XX. Means of Communication 138 

XXI. London 142 

XXII. The Environs of London 133 

XXIII. In the Country 15b 

XXIV. The British Empire 160 

XXV. Army and Navy 168 

XXVI. English as it is Spoken. (Colloquial. Slang. Cockney) 1 75 

XXVII. Sundries 194 

Materials for Dialogues I95 

Index 200 



J. BlELEFELDS VeRLAG IN FrEIBURG (BaDEN). 



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UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY 
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